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Anyone ever doubt their dream career?


Abbygail
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Because it doesn't require as much education as other people's?

 

My dream career has always been music, but I often find myself wanting to study something that requires more academic study rather than a skill. This is because most of the people I talk to are doing things like law school, med school, etc, both men and women. And while I know I could do just as well as them in those type of schools, it was never my interest until recently.

 

It makes me feel inferior... I think of the jobs they'll have in the future and I wonder, how will I measure up?

 

Now I do have an interest in medicine but med-school conflicts with my more personal goals... so I don't know.

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On the contrary, I think that there's work and there's play. Sure, it's great if you can find something you really enjoy doing for work, but it really depends on what your definition of work is. If it's that you should just get by, then by all means follow your heart. If it is that you should make a decent living (perhaps so that you can invest your time and money otherwise into whatever it is you enjoy), then you should try to balance the two. If it is that you should be rich, then you want to emphasize work.

 

I would warn you about following the last option. We all need something to be fulfilled. But, we also need to make ends meet.

 

I, for one, am very grateful that my passion--engineering--is very lucrative. But unfortunately with music, it is kind of hit-and-miss. I think education has little to do with it, but if you're having these doubts already, then it is certainly worth investigating further. Probably the worst thing you could do is to not make any decision, quell these doubts, finish your degree, and then find out that it's not right for you. And even if you make the wrong decision, as long as you plan carefully now then you won't have regrets because you'll know you made the best decision you could have at the time being.

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I'm still not sure what matters most to me money-wise. For awhile it was 'be rich," but then I realized that "be rich" and "raise a family" weren't going to mesh.

 

My goals are ultimately family-oriented. If everything goes as planned, the amount of money I make won't matter because I'll be at home raising children. But I'd still like to be able to live comfortably if it doesn't.

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Because it doesn't require as much education as other people's?

 

My dream career has always been music, but I often find myself wanting to study something that requires more academic study rather than a skill. This is because most of the people I talk to are doing things like law school, med school, etc, both men and women. And while I know I could do just as well as them in those type of schools, it was never my interest until recently.

 

It makes me feel inferior... I think of the jobs they'll have in the future and I wonder, how will I measure up?

 

Now I do have an interest in medicine but med-school conflicts with my more personal goals... so I don't know.

 

Go to med school. Do music as a hobby. Can't you do music and something else and still succeed at music ?

 

I have no career so I doubt what I do everyday because everyday is just another day wasted.

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Op - I hope you decide to celebrate your musical talents and skills and - if you can make a living at it - so much the better! I loved school - including grad school - but if I had had a talent like yours in the arts I cannot say for sure what my choice would have been. I know personally several dancers and musicians who pursued higher education later in life after pursuing an arts career so that is always an option if you discover that for whatever reason you wish to stop pursuing your music career. In my opinion your talent gives you more options not less and you don't need to make a choice now, if ever. Good luck!

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Sorry to hear that's the way you feel.

 

To answer you're question though, since I have the experience, things like med school and law school are so intensive that that's all that music would be, a hobby, as there would be no time to spend on it. There are very few who are able to be successful at music when it's just a hobby. Building model rockets can be a hobby, but how many people who have that hobby go on to build real rockets?

 

Well if you've got talent you will still make it. Just imo.

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I realized something else when it comes to this.

 

Right now, my chosen college major is pre-med. I'm very interested in 90% of topics related to the medical professions, and I'd be more than happy to make a career out of it.

 

But at the same time... Today I was watching the Oprah show and they were doing something on international beauty, and the thing I noticed most of all was the hair.

 

I used to want to go to beauty school, but in Junior year my therapist told my mom, "She's not cut out for (prestigious catholic school I attended), why didn't you just send her to beauty school?"

 

I never really thought about it after that... I didn't, and still don't, want to be perceived as stupid.

 

It's something I've struggled with for awhile now. In middle/grade/high school, I'd get a lot of praise for how smart I was by the same people who would turn around and call me stupid the next day. (Parents, teachers, etc. Teachers didn't call me stupid, just treated me like I was dumb because I never really talked in school.)

 

I think I feel the need to prove to the world that I'm smart... or to rediscover it, rather. My grades pretty much plummeted in HS because I didn't really study or anything... I was too depressed over things going on at home. But when I did put the slightest effort into school work, I'd get amazing grades. And before all the stuff happened I used to get praised all the time for my writing and my grades in school. It's like, I -know- I can do it.

 

I think I want to take pre med just to prove that I can do it. I get excited thinking about going to beauty school, but at the same time it doesn't feel like a "real" college. It's like... a pre-med degree vs a cosmetology license. If feels like a waste if I choose to go to beauty school, knowing that if I wanted to I could get a bachelor's and beyond.

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Well, if you're only aspiration in life is just to prove everyone else wrong (and truthfully, they may still think you're stupid, there's no guarantee), then I think you're going to most likely going to go down a career path that has nothing to do with what you actually want to do in life.

 

What do you want to do? I can't say I haven't bee where you are, wanting to prove myself, but I think you're putting way too much emphasis on what others think and hardly any on what you think, especially about what's right for yourself.

 

Yeah, that's true... I am interested in all the career options I mentioned, but in the long run, I'm not really sure what I'd want, barring what anyone else things. It'd most likely be something in hair or music. I keep wanting to say that pre med is great because I love a challenge, but that's probably the "prove yourself" part of me talking. In the end though I often think pre med will be too taxing... It's not that I can't handle it, but I'm hoping that in college I'll be able to explore the missed social opportunities in highschool. You know... actually get out, participate in activities, hang out with people, have fun. But from what I've read pre-med = study, study, study, study.

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Please also be aware that music also = study, study, study, study. For years, even as far back as high school, I was practicing up to 8 hours every day, while also making sure I could stay on the honor role, and work part-time. I know that music gets a bad rap as "play" rather than work, but a serious pursuit of music requires a very specific dedication and discipline to one's craft.

 

The difference is for me is with music it'd be my passion... so if I studied it, it'd be like aiming for my dreams. I don't mind giving up social time for that (not that I have any yet... but hypothetically speaking), but pre med is just an interest. Granted, it's something I'm very interested in, but I think with pre med I'd be content with continuing to read books about it I ordered offline. I have a hunger to learn more about it, but no real career aspirations in the field. It's a lot like psychology/sociology.

 

It is true that I once wanted to seriously study it/become a doctor (a year ago), but well my essay is outdated now.

 

Maybe I should cross that major out... hmm.

 

I remember talking to you about my problems with practicing... I think you'll be happy to know that I'm slowly, but (hopefully) surely overcoming my inability to "do." I haven't done it with music yet, but rather with the other things I mentioned. I just hope I don't regress. I mention this because if I did major in music it wouldn't be a hopeless cause.

 

Hairstylist was my dream career for awhile. You got to work with people and hair, and maintain your own sense of personal style (and hair.) The one downside to that is I don't think it really pays that much unless you get to the top. I've entertained the thought of going to beauty school and then college, or vice versa, but I think if you want to make it to the top cosmetology-wise you should probably get working on the clientele from the get-go.

 

But when I think of going to just beauty school, I think, "But I want to go to a traditional college."

 

Hmm.

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There will ALWAYS BE SOME people who diss a career because they lack the foresight and intelligence to understand that it takes all kind of people to make the world go 'round. Truth is people like engineers and analysts often envy musicians and artists becuase they know they will never have that skill. And vice versa. Only idiots actually come up and say one is better than the other.

 

My advice is to ignore them, and put them on the backseat of the bus.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi,

I thought I'd chime in because I am in the exact same boat as you.

 

While I realize music does require studying and hours and hours of time, it doesn't feel "academic" to me I guess. Academic to me has always been more science, math, english, psychology, etc. And while I know that music history and theory are academic by my standards, I found that I have zero interest in learning about them. It doesn't mentally stimulate me at all, though singing is very emotionally stimulating for me. I love to sing. I am a good singer and could potentially be a great singer and make a career out of it. But I realized that I don't have the drive and I don't want it as bad as all the other students in the music program with me. I'm more naturally talented than many of them and I have better grades in music classes, but I don't have the interest that they have. I love to sing for the joy of singing, and I love to perform, but I really want to study something like psychology or be a doctor.

 

Anyway, I've decided to transfer to a large university from my small private school. I've always been really fascinated with all things medical, psychological, and subjects like that. The school I will be transferring to has a large psychology department and I am extremely excited. And if for some reason it doesn't pan out, I have many options there as well.

 

Ok, so I guess what I'm getting at is that if you have doubts about music as a career, then it very likely isn't right. Just because you are good at it doesn't mean it's the best career choice necessarily. I'm musically talented, but I don't want to sing professionally. I think I'm more of a community theater type at heart. And while I would be willing to spend hours practicing my instrument, I hate learning about music history and theory and all the other required classes.

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I would like to say...

 

It's an odd statistic, but did you know that more music majors get accepted into medical schools than any other major?

 

If you want to raise a family immediately however, I would avoid medical school. One of my friends from college graduated last spring and began medical school in September. This was only her first semester and she's already lost any personal life that she had before. She's called me to complain, but she even had to cut that short- she doesn't even have time to complain effectively! Medical school and law school are two of the single most time consuming and stressful life choices that you will ever make. If you choose to take one of those paths, make sure that you realize you're not simply furthering your education, you're making a lifestyle choice for the next 3 or 4 years respectively. The payoff is great, but you have to be willing to make the sacrifice in order to succeed.

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There will ALWAYS BE SOME people who diss a career because they lack the foresight and intelligence to understand that it takes all kind of people to make the world go 'round. Truth is people like engineers and analysts often envy musicians and artists becuase they know they will never have that skill. And vice versa. Only idiots actually come up and say one is better than the other.

 

My advice is to ignore them, and put them on the backseat of the bus.

 

Engineering is the genius that makes this world possible. All else is merely semantics.

 

All science is either physics or stamp collecting.

Ernest Rutherford.

 

I love that quote.

 

I love it to death. So true. In a funny round about way. There are a lot of people who think they're superior to others because they're 'educated'. My view is that an education is only as valuable as the mathematical and analytical skills a person develops. In that regard Engineering trumps almost all others.

 

I think it just eats some people up to know that there are others much more educated than them. Other times I know that some people (Engineers) are arrogant and do not respect other professions or work that is different to their own. But I know what goes around comes around in this crazy old world.

 

I just sit back and laugh. Remaining true to myself. I know what is important and will always take pride in what I do. I can say that because Engineers and Scientists generally do not try to make me feel inferior. Some do. But not many. Members of the business community on the other hand...

 

Some of the biggest snobs I know come from Business. Also from Engineering, but mostly Business.

 

Am I happy with my career ? Not really. I'll keep studying for my own personal satisfaction. I'll get a math degree one day. Through off campus study most likely. I'll take Engineering classes too. As I understand mathematics is the single most important thing. Has made our world the wonder that it is today. Without mathematics we are nothing.

 

If I had my time again I would without a doubt have a shot at becoming an Engineer. So I guess whatever I do, I'll never really be happy. I never doubted that dream. I just doubt I'd ever be able to pull it off. Nor do I think it would be a practical thing for me to do at this stage in my life. I'll just have to do something else, and as described above learn what I can in my own time.

 

To the OP I hope that answers your question. We can't always have what we want in terms of a career.

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Because it doesn't require as much education as other people's?

 

My dream career has always been music, but I often find myself wanting to study something that requires more academic study rather than a skill. This is because most of the people I talk to are doing things like law school, med school, etc, both men and women. And while I know I could do just as well as them in those type of schools, it was never my interest until recently.

 

It makes me feel inferior... I think of the jobs they'll have in the future and I wonder, how will I measure up?

 

Now I do have an interest in medicine but med-school conflicts with my more personal goals... so I don't know.

 

If you have the money, go to school and also practice music at the same time.

 

That's how i come into terms with myself. Go for something that is "what we should be doing", and also do what you dreamed of doing as a side.

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I agree.

 

I have seen arrogance in all kinds of work...from the auto mechanic who turns up his nose at you because you don't understand cars...to the computer expert who turns up their nose at you because you don't understand the nuts and bolts of computers....to the secretary in a doctor's office who is rude to patients....to administrative support staff who back stab colleagues with higher credentials. I don't understand how people can think that their chosen line of work is the be all and end all. We do not live in a bubble, we are all interdependent, and we all have expertise in our own little areas. Everyone contributes to making sure life runs smoothly...from getting our cars fixed, to relaxing with music.

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What exactly is a career in what one "should" be doing? That always means to me that someone thinks that careers in science, math, finance, medicine, etc., are the only important things keeping this world going. But when I perform at a gig, I often hear, "We always enjoy hearing you play, it feels great being able to come and listen, and man, I'd love to be paid for something that I love like you are."

 

What we should be doing is to constantly become aware and expand our mind in whichever direction we believe we should be in. Certainly, there are people who've found their way to least resistance, but that's simplifying life. What happens in life usually is that we gain experience, and we find our ways from those experience.

 

The last thing I would discourage is to go into what we "should" be doing to expand our mind (yes, i'm talking about going to school), and then decide from there whether we like what we pursue.

 

We're glad you found that music is your passion, but there's a process that leads up to it, and playing an instrument is simple to begin since instruments are readily assessable. Also the outcome is also simple - you produce music. But medical field is different. The OP probably doesn't know what it's about until she's in her 3rd year undergrad. You can't develop passion for something you know nothing about. There must be a trial run to see for herself.

 

You have to realize her dilemma is not that she's doubting her career as a doctor, but it's the 10 years she had to spend training to become a doctor which she otherwise could have spend on some other more useful activity. Unlike playing an instrument, they had to think through it.

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not gonna read all that cause your first paragraph is already misleading.

 

The result is to produce music. No need complicating it, and I'm certainly not simplifying it. That's the outcome. You can see it very clearly.

 

Taking a peek at the med field require 3 years, taking a peek at an instrument requires a few lessons. End of discussion.

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It's ironic that you call yourself "Creative" but clearly have no respect for creative professionals like musicians.

 

I already knew from your first paragraph that this is the view you thought I had. It's misleading.

 

And the truth is, she's not in school to get that "few lessons" of med/law school. It's quite a dilemma for her.

 

If she's my, say, future daughter. I'll definitely force her to finish her post secondary. In the meantime, she can see whether she can wants to pursue med school.

 

 

The truth is, if you are doubting your dream career, it must not really be your dream career because otherwise, you'd have the discipline and drive to make an attempt to achieve it. Again, I am a working professional musician, and instead of making excuses about why I might not be able to do it, I shut myself in my room for hours a day practicing my instrument

 

But you don't know what kinds of doubts she has, nor do you know what it takes to see what she's getting into. In fact, what you've written sounds kind of like those motivational books where one equation can fit all. She certainly can pursue, but spending 3 years just to see what it's about? And THEN spend another 6-7 years to train? This kind of dilemma is unparalleled. Unparalleled when compared to taking a few lessons to see what another occupation is about. If she found interest in human body, how it works, and how it can be, she may be more inclined to continue. Merely a concept of "saving people" or "making lots of money" wouldn't carry her far. She'll have to see whether this interest comes to her AFTER few years of studying.

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I play several instruments, not professionally (I never wanted that)but I can play them. I also teach math to students with special needs. No comparison. Math is more labor intensive. But that shouldn't matter to anyone. If you love what you do, then go for it and don't feel inferior because it doesn't seem as "academic" as someone elses profession. I have a niece who plays the flute and dances professionally. She does pretty well, but she has to have a second job to make ends meet. She can't spell cat or do the simplest equation, but I can't dance and the flute is beyond me. So what? We all have our talents, so let's respect everyone who works.

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Personally, I find that a career in music (unless your a DJ) or anything sports related is just a dream. Now not saying that it can't be done but I really think that some people need to get their heads out of the clouds and realize that its not as easy as anyone thinks it is.

 

I always tell people to follow their dreams and do what will make them happy. Now anyone that I know that wants to do music I always suggest that they have some sort of backup career just in case the music thing does not work out.

 

So my suggestion to you is go for it and don't let anyone stop you from doing what you like. Trust me on this I've made too many of these mistakes on like.

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Hey Abbygail,

This has become quite an interesting thread to read!

 

Firstly, I don't think rating the amount of education a career takes is the greatest reason to do or not do something, and I do realize that maybe other people are making you feel like you need to. What matters most is how you feel about that career, and if you really want to be a musician, then go for it!

 

However, many musicians do both music and another field. I myself am a musician, and perform only concerts and weddings 6 months out of the year... but during the winter I don't get as many opportunities to play, so if I'm not performing, I work as a substitute teacher. I also teach private lessons and also work part time in retail. So I have a couple of careers - musician, teacher, retail - with music being my main one. My retail job has nothing to do with music, but I've managed to put teaching and music together. Last year I only taught, but decided that teaching may not be the right or only career for me, so I'm working in many areas. I have to say that I'd LOVE to make music performance my only career, but I'm still young and haven't quite figured out how to make it work for me yet, so I've found ways to stay in music and still love what I'm doing. I don't know a whole lot about medical school, but aren't there a lot of different jobs you could take in medicine? Is there possibly one that would allow you time to be in medicine, AND have the time you want to be in music? Or, have you thought about a music therapy program?

 

I've run into many people who have made me feel that being a musician is inferior, even today. That is only their opinion, and you have to realize that you will run accross that often, and that the only thing that matters is that I still love my job(s)!

 

On a last note (no pun intended), you're still young enough to be able to change your mind and explore other options, so keep music with you, and continue to look into other areas you might be interested in. Good luck with everything

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