Help with workplace bully

[miracle29]

Well I think anybody would be pissed off if someone was trying to lecture them how to treat a girl they went on with. I've only been on a couple dates with this girl, and coworker dating is perfectly acceptable in my work place. We're really still just friends at this point. So if he says something insulting to me what should I do next time? Walk away?

 

 

Now that he knows he can get a rise out of you, your best bet is to try to put some waters on the flames. He is more than likely some insecure, jealous, control freak who is miserable. I know what you're thinking"if I never see him at work again, it would be too soon" right? You have to get a guy like this where is hurts more and last longer. Physically (though he so had it coming) is actually going to cost you more than if you beat him mentally. Someone like him who simply HAS to have attention, negative or just attention...ignoring him will drive him crazy! Try it. I mean literally act like he does not exist. Only email him what you have to, and cc a supervisor on it all. Don't even speak to him or about him. If someone makes a snide remark about him simply shrug like 'hey i don't even know that guy". watch the tables turn.

[rbr85]

So I worked the other day he was there. As I walked in I could overhear him talking, "Look here comes the * * * * * ..." blah blah behind my back to someone. I acted like I didn't hear him and continued on. I had the biggest smile on my face that day and acted completely unaffected by him. I bet he was real pissed I didn't look upset by him. My and my dating partner interacted just as always.

 

Unfortunately, I cannot keep ignoring him. My job MANDATES that I communicate with him. This includes transferring of heavy and fragile objects from his hands to mine, and dual interaction with clients. So I am forced to work with him, I know that I must show no emotion and look completely unphased by him. There is this burning desire inside of me to tell him to " * * * * off" I know I won't get in trouble at work, because A. he wouldn't compromise his manhood by taddling on me, and B. it's not unusual for someone to get frustrated every now and then. I'm just like thinking over in my head every thing I could say to cut him down or shut him up, or make him feel stupid. I know I'm obsessing.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

What you need to do are things that de-escalate the conflict rather than escalate it... Your goal isn't to cut him down or make him feel stupid, it is to resolve conflict.

 

So approach it not like you are trying to protect your ego, but like you are trying to everything you can to do a great job and reduce conflict. He is trying to drag you down to his own petty level, and he can't do that unless you agree to go there.

 

Keep rising above it and keep it professional. Your job is more important than this nonsense.

[ShootingStar]

You have to write everything down!! Every single thing the bully says and does...no one will listen to you without evidence!! Find out if he has bullied his colleagues before...you say you have a lot of friends there so someone may know.

 

The key to defeating bullies in the workplace (and I had three who almost drove me to suicide) is to collect evidence and NEVER allow them to treat you differently. If they do, make a note of it, and ask your colleagues if they saw him walking away!! Do it right then and there!!

 

And also you are the victim of bullying...quite frankly it just doesn't matter what you have done or didn't do. Every single person has the right to go to work and do her/his job without this hassle!!