ablonde Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 a guy was interested in me. i turned him down. * LOOOOOOOOONG story short, i tried to get him back. after trying and trying, he was pushing me further and further away, and finally came out with a 'you said no. i moved on. end of story. that's it. (but i still want to be friends).' i'm glad he was so honest with me! but i cant help but wonder... did rejection hurt him THAT bad that when things changed and now that i want him (pretty badly) he's just like no way? is that what most men do? once they get rejected, don't even think about giving it a second shot? *i was being short and blunt with that, there's a whole story behind why i turned him down but i was preventing it from being too lengthy Link to comment
Raistlin Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Some guys ARE just like that. I, personally, am not. However, without knowing the full story of what happened, or his personality (etc), it's impossible for us to know if HE is like that. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Nothing to do with gender - that's the chance you take when you reject someone whether for dating or friendship. Link to comment
ablonde Posted November 7, 2008 Author Share Posted November 7, 2008 Some guys ARE just like that. I, personally, am not. However, without knowing the full story of what happened, or his personality (etc), it's impossible for us to know if HE is like that. he's kind of a player. and flirty with a lot of girls. and he has cheated. which was why i told him no (didnt want the drama of all that). when i said no to him, he *Seemed* upset. but im not sure why, when i told him it was ok because he had plenty of girls to fall back on, he said he 'didnt want to date anyone else'. (HA) he's definitely one to go around, and since i've said no he's tried with about 5 other girls until he found the one he's with now. Link to comment
Raistlin Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 he's kind of a player. and flirty with a lot of girls. and he has cheated. which was why i told him no (didnt want the drama of all that). when i said no to him, he *Seemed* upset. but im not sure why, when i told him it was ok because he had plenty of girls to fall back on, he said he 'didnt want to date anyone else'. (HA) he's definitely one to go around, and since i've said no he's tried with about 5 other girls until he found the one he's with now. What you wrote there says 2 things to me. 1) You were very smart in telling him no. You don't need that drama, and you deserve a better man who wont hurt you like that. 2) You were probably one of the only people who ever said no, and that made his interest in you increase. You became a challenge; something to hunt. Only after he realized that you meant no did he let up. These types of guys make me feel sick to my stomach because I could never cheat. I like feeling wanted by one person who will be committed to me and me to them. It's a great feeling to have a passionate time with someone... but it doesn't fill the void. Link to comment
i_win Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 he's kind of a player. and flirty with a lot of girls. and he has cheated. which was why i told him no (didnt want the drama of all that). Wow, how suprising that you would want to turn him down. He seems like a worthy prize to go after to me! Link to comment
redhearts Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 What did you expect, that he sit and wait till you got interested? I don't think so. Link to comment
yumicecream Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 okayyy, so I think you said 'no' for a great reason. You might want him now, but he is one of those guys who shut off their emotions permanently if a woman isn't interested. Personally, I'd begin the process of moving on and forgetting about him. Anyways, I don't know why you are trying to get him when he has a gf...you s hould wait until he doesn't. Link to comment
My Advice Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Yes, why are you trying to get him if he has a girl friend? Why do you want a guy with that kind of history at all? He sounds terrible. And to be honest, yes many people, both genders, including myself, do get soured by the prospects enough after being rejected to not want it anymore and there is NOTHING wrong with that. Have you considered the reason why you like him so much is because he is no longer an option? If he is only in it for the hunt then perhaps you are as well. Link to comment
yumicecream Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Yes, it sounds like neither of your are truly commital until you feel as though the other is out of reach. I agree with above poster. If someone turns me down, I think its wiser to forget about them and move on. That might mean that my emotions die forever. Link to comment
littlestar Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 a guy was interested in me. i turned him down. * LOOOOOOOOONG story short, i tried to get him back. after trying and trying, he was pushing me further and further away, and finally came out with a 'you said no. i moved on. end of story. that's it. (but i still want to be friends).' i'm glad he was so honest with me! but i cant help but wonder... did rejection hurt him THAT bad that when things changed and now that i want him (pretty badly) he's just like no way? is that what most men do? once they get rejected, don't even think about giving it a second shot? *i was being short and blunt with that, there's a whole story behind why i turned him down but i was preventing it from being too lengthy Ok, i had this happen to me. I am female, and there was a guy i really liked, i let him know how i felt about me and he rejected my by saying no, couple years later he has changed his mind and is now interested in me, i said the EXACT same thing to him as this guy has said to you about moving on and being end of story. I would never take someone who has rejected me, the way i see it, they didnt take me when they had their chance, to bad they will never get that chance again. Link to comment
WizardofOz Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 I think it depends on the situation and the past relationship with the girl. If I was rejected, I would most likely move on. There had to be a reason for the initial rejection so unless there was a major change between the two of us, why would she change her mind? She may be bored, she may have no other options or she may have made a mistake. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 1) I would think before turning a man down. If I feel that there is even 1% chance of my being wrong in turning him down I would give him a chance just to make sure. 2) If I do turn a man down, I'll still be a lady, be honest, yet tactful but stay firm n calm while cracking bad news and not appear emotional. I think, the way you turn someone down, says a lot about you. If at all you approach the person again, a decent n rational man may consider giving you another opportunity. 3) Personally, if I turn someone down, I would not go back to him. B'coz I think, if you do so, it gives a man too much power and a man can n mostly (unless he is a gentleman) will abuse it. They know they have you then. So, when you close the door, learn to close it properly and move on to the next one. Link to comment
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