Ok, I have a question!!

[VtecQueen]

So I just got out of a 4 year relationship. My ex left me, pretty much out of nowhere. We hit a rough patch and I was trying to work things out but he just left said, "I don't want a relationship right now" (his way of dealing with things is not dealing with them at all)

 

Early this year he bought me a car. And he agreed to make the payments as long as I paid the insurance.

 

I just got the job I went to school for so I will be making decent money after training, I am getting my stuff together. And he just up and leaves me. He is now blaming me for him being stuck with the car payments, I told him I would help pay but he doesn't want me to. He just continues to say, " you screwed me over" I don't understand at all.

 

Also, a friend of mine saw him and another girl at a Olive Garden last week. So I'm pretty confused about everything right now.

 

What do you guys think about this whole situation? I'm trying to see this from his point of view but it's just not making since to me!!!

[winchester3]

The other chick at olive garden. When i'm having issues or stressing out about my GF, i find that talking to another girl is the best way of dealing with it. You could give him the car back.

[VtecQueen]

The car is in my name btw.

[Dragunov-21]

If he refuses your attempts to make good on the situation, then he's probably trying to make you guilty.

 

Keep the offer open, but don't let it get to you when you've done the right thing.

[VtecQueen]

That's what I don't understand, he is trying to make me feel guilty, but HE left ME! So why would I feel guilty? He really and truly screwed himself over right? i didn't screw him over. I'm trying to put myself in his shoes, but it doesn't make since to me.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

If the car is in your name only, get a loan in your name only and pay off his loan and be done with him. If it is jointly titled, then you should try to get him to agree to sell you the car and pay off the note with another loan you get in your name only.

 

Or perhaps the problem is he wants to take the car himself, but your name is on it. But if your name is on the title, then he doesn't have a right to take the car without your agreeing to it. Perhaps that is how he feels 'screwed over', in that he is paying for a car that he can't take.

 

So try to end this as best you can. Either offer to pay off the loan yourself by getting a new loan and his name off the title, or if your name is not on the loan, sign over the title to him so that you are no longer on the title and give up the car to him.

 

Frequently in breakups there is not a lot of logic and a whole lot of resentment at financial entanglements, and he is just angry that the car situation isn't what he wants. So cut the last tie, and get the car out of his name and off the loan or give it back to him entirely.

[VtecQueen]

Yeah I was working on getting a loan, I applied for a lot. but the way the economy is here, no one is really giving them out it seems. But I do get student money next semester for school, so I may try to used some of that towards the car.

 

I don't think he should blame me for any of what's going on. I wanted to stay with him and help pay but he just broke it off with me and doesn't want me to help, but continues to blame me. He wants to be the victim. you know. It's so confusing.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

If he's not being reasonable (i.e., he is determined to be mad about it), there is nothing you can do so just ignore him and make plans to get the car in your own name and loan.

 

If he dumped you, he's really not your concern anymore, so don't let it get to you if he's determined to scratch his mad spot.

[VtecQueen]

Yeah you're right, there's really nothing I can do. Today he is coming over to get my engagement ring back. I'm taking it pretty hard on myself, which is probably why I'm having so many mixed feelings, and thinking too much. But whatever happens happens, I suppose.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Take over the car payments from him and drive off into the sunset.

 

Why would he continue to pay for a car for an ex girlfriend and why would a girl drive a car that's being paid for by an ex-boyfriend?

 

Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

 

Either keep the car and pay for it or transfer the title into his name.

 

He's either seeing someone else, dating many or really, as he said, not interested in a relationship right now. AND he feels screwed over. MY advice..... tie up any and all loose ends (cars included) and drive for the hills.

 

Best of luck

 

-Awdree

[thebunny21]

I watch Judge Judy a lot, and those types of case come up frequently. I think, if the loan is in your name, just take over the car payments. That way, you have no problems if he decides to take you court or you guys end up getting into a fight.

[VtecQueen]

He insists on paying for the car. I've tried to talk him into letting me pay, but he says he will just pay it off. It's only 3,000 left to pay. The car is in my name and everything, he just paid for it. I will probably end up getting another car and just giving him this car since he paid for it, I don't know. Hopefully he doesn't want to go to court, cuz I've told him time and time again, "let me pay" "let me pay". I just got new job so I won't have a pay check until next Friday. So I can't pay anything right now, but he wants me to pay right now, I told him I can't right now, but once I get paid next week I can. Idk....he is just crazy.

[thebunny21]

Wow. He actually wants to keep paying? Odd. Well, I might consider having him sign a contract perhaps. That might cover your end.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Is the car in your name only or both your names? If it is in both your names, i suspect he will pay til the end then try to take the car from you with proof that he made all the payments and you contributed nothing.

 

If the car is not in his name at all, and only the loan, then he has no legal rights to the car at all.

[VtecQueen]

 

If the car is not in his name at all, and only the loan.

Yeah that's exactly what it is. But he told me he doesn't want the car at all. But we met up last night and he took back the engagement ring. I guess he really didn't want to be in a relationship. But it's ok, life is too short to stay sad. He will realize that the new girl is not better than me.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Well, he got the ring, you got the car... at least you got a car! I'd rather have a car than an engagement ring i couldn't use...