Falling in love with someone, but is it too soon or right

[thefustrateddude]

So I am in quite a confusing situation, happy in one side, confused in another, just wanting a outside opinion.

 

Backstory: I ended my previous relationship about 2 months ago, quite a serious one. It ended in somewhat smoother fasion, since my ex moved out of state about 3 months ago, so the break up wasn't really sudden... lets call her Sasha.

 

Then there is Nadia... who I thought was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen (honestly) the first time I met her two years ago, and what a gorgeous personality she has.. we hung out a few times, not really close friends, but just friends, and we talk here and there. I didn't approach her at all this time since I was in a relationship at the time, and she was in one too. She also broke up her relationship about the same time I ended mine with Sasha.

 

So Nadia and I both got out of our relationship about the same time (2 months ago, both 2 years long), both my relationship and hers were pretty serious... Since about a month ago, we started talking more and more, hung out a few times, simply as friends.. nothing more. It felt like we were both in the same boat... of recovery from our past relationships.

 

 

 

Situation Recently Nadia has been poping in to my mind more than usual, and we talk more frequently now... the thought of her just makes me all excited inside now... and I think I am falling in love with her, just everything she does, she's smart, and to top all of that she is really cute. Seeing her just makes my day... honestly I've never felt like this before in my life.

 

Complication I will be graduating in December, and trying to decide if I should stick around this city, or move somewhere else. And if I even have the slightest chance with someone this amazing, I might just stick around...

 

Options I feel like this is happening too fast, yet I am having a hard time controlling my feelings for her, it's so hard not letting her know what I feel. I feel that it's too quick for her and me since we both got out of relationships recently... and sometimes I still think of my ex too. Last thing I want is for this to be some rebound relationship...

 

 

 

I was thinking of sending a small secret admirer card, or I make various art stuff.. so give her anonymously a small gift saying it's from someone who cares, but who can't come forth.. but are these options creepy?

 

Should I approach her directly? Indirectly like a secret admirer kind of way? Do nothing and wait longer?

 

Please help a confused-heart-aching guy

[arwen]

Your feelings seem really strong, so I wouldn't waste time on a secret-admirer strategy. I also wouldn't really like that if I were her, but that's personal preference

 

So, go for it? I mean, life will always be changing, which may involve relocating... I wouldn't let that be reason not to chase someone who gave me that rare feeling that you describe. It's not like you meet people that give you that feeling every day!

 

btw, I got together with my bf right before I had to move for a position in another town- we had a weekend relationship for the first year and a half. We live together now, and I never even thought of not giving us a chance because of our constant changing jobs (we have a type of career that involves a lot of temporary jobs and relocating between universities).

[thefustrateddude]

 

So, go for it? I mean, life will always be changing, which may involve relocating... I wouldn't let that be reason not to chase someone who gave me that rare feeling that you describe. It's not like you meet people that give you that feeling every day!

 

 

Wow, this is quite inspirational, never thought of it like that, and I totally have to agree with you.

 

The only thing holding me back is, is she ready for another relationship right now... I still get the feeling she isn't completely recovered from her relationship (they had a bad breakup). Because if she still isn't totally over it, she might be in a really awkward/uncomfortable situation.

 

Then again... if I don't do anything now, she might slip past my fingers and I would never have this opportunity.

 

 

What a hard decision, so many things to consider...

[arwen]

Of course there is a chance that she is not ready- but that would probably mean taking things slower than you would otherwise. I guess it's best to just wait for a bit then, and see where the contact goes, if you get the idea that she is more and more over him. Does she talk about the break up often? Do you feel she is still heartbroken? That is of course a reason to be a bit careful- you wouldn't want to be her rebound.

 

What gives you the idea now that she is not moved on enough yet?

[thefustrateddude]

Of course there is a chance that she is not ready- but that would probably mean taking things slower than you would otherwise. I guess it's best to just wait for a bit then, and see where the contact goes, if you get the idea that she is more and more over him. Does she talk about the break up often?

Not frequently, here and there. She talks about it with her friends but rarely with me..

 

Do you feel she is still heartbroken?

Not exactly, she seems normal when around me.. she is angry at her ex. She still posts sad songs related to relationships in her facebook profile from time to time... another assumption.

 

That is of course a reason to be a bit careful- you wouldn't want to be her rebound. What gives you the idea now that she is not moved on enough yet?

 

Yeah, I don't want to be her rebound, nor do I want her to be my rebound without me even knowing it... well I've never known a girl who had moved on completely in 2 months, so just an assumption.

 

Thanks Arwen for your feedback, feel like I have at least a small grip on the situation now more clearly.