Syntax1985 Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 im going to refer to him as J, well me and J used to be really good friends in school, and J had a group of friends i never really got on well with, they're nice people but they're closed up and extremely shy, well, after college J and this friendship circle moved to a uni and got a house together. non of them ever chat up girls, they don't even seem interested, i go and visit them and most the time i just spend catching up with J, apart from that they're home life is pretty dull. ( from my opinion). Well about a month J finally met a girl, and they've hit if off great, i couldn't be happier for him, ive met her a few times and shes just what he needs, she's lively and fun and i really think hes come out of shell and started to enjoy life alot more, the only problem is, his house mates hate him for it. he comes home from being with her for a night and they literally will all walk away and go to they're bedrooms. they wont say a word to him at all. i know J well enough to know he wouldn't do anything to upset this bad intentionally, and he doesnt have a clue why either. I'm pretty sure its jealousy ( the others have never had a GF and are virgins. ), so im pretty sure its either they're jealous of him finding a girl, or they're upset hes not spending every minute of the day with them like he used to. But hes getting depressed about it and i dont blame him, what a home life. he cant move out because of his uni courses, he cant seem to talk to them because they just blank him. he keeps asking me for help but i dont know what to say, the only thing i can think of to be honest is if i go down there and give them a piece of my mind... lol anyone ever experienced something like this or got any ideas? Link to comment
i_win Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 The problem is they feel like J casted them aside as soon as he got this gf and he no longer wants to hang out with them. And I'm sure it's easy for them to gang up and talk about "all the time he spends with his girl" when he's not around. I think they should be happy for him but instead are angry and hurt that he has departed from the group. He could have a talk with them and tell them that he is sorry that he hasn't been around as much, but hope they can still be good friends and hope that they are happy for him. If this doesn't clear things up then he just has to deal with it and figure that they weren't that great of friends to begin with if they can cut him out just for being happy. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 This behavior is so immature. YOu would think they would share in his happiness. So what if he is not there 24/7 anymore. Is that a requirement of friendship that you can't ever spend less time if life leads in that direction? Wow, this is why i am glad i never had to have roommates. LOL I dont do well with catty behavior..and yup these guys are being catty. Catty isn't just for girls! Link to comment
Syntax1985 Posted October 28, 2008 Author Share Posted October 28, 2008 the thing is I win, he cant talk to them, your both right they're immature, but he actually cant talk to them, they just blank him and disappear, its like he has the plague ( how he describes it.) Edit: i could go down there and try to talk to them when hes not around, but that could backfire onto him, i don't know what to do... Link to comment
pianoguy Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 the only thing i can think of to be honest is if i go down there and give them a piece of my mind... lol That's very nice of you to offer to do that, but you can't solve other people's problems for them, unfortunately. (I'm speaking from LOTS of experience here...) J will have to talk to his roommates himself if he wants to. Why can't he move out? If it's an apartment, he could get somebody to sublet, if it's a dorm, they'll let you move out if you can show that you're not in a healthy environment anymore. One thing you can do is share your own friends with him, if you think he'd get along with them. Link to comment
Syntax1985 Posted October 28, 2008 Author Share Posted October 28, 2008 That's very nice of you to offer to do that, but you can't solve other people's problems for them, unfortunately. (I'm speaking from LOTS of experience here...) J will have to talk to his roommates himself if he wants to. Why can't he move out? If it's an apartment, he could get somebody to sublet, if it's a dorm, they'll let you move out if you can show that you're not in a healthy environment anymore. One thing you can do is share your own friends with him, if you think he'd get along with them. i dont think he can afford anything else to be honest, its a rented house ( private market). Link to comment
pianoguy Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 i dont think he can afford anything else to be honest, its a rented house ( private market). But if he found that one there's others like it. It might mean rooming with strangers, but that's not always a bad thing, and it might be better than living with people who won't speak to you! Link to comment
Syntax1985 Posted October 28, 2008 Author Share Posted October 28, 2008 But if he found that one there's others like it. It might mean rooming with strangers, but that's not always a bad thing, and it might be better than living with people who won't speak to you! il mention it to him, but as i said hes only just started to come out of his shell, i think completely leaving his comfort zone ( no matter how annoying it is ) is out of the question as well. hes not asking me to fix it for him either, he just keeps phoning me because hes feeling crappy and doesnt know what to do Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Maybe they feel like they've been replaced. I have a cousin that I never get to spend time with without her bf being there. I don't have anything against him. I just sometimes wish it could just be the 2 of us once in awhile, you know? Link to comment
waveseer Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 In my experience when your roommates stop talking to you it's time to move out. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 In my experience when your roommates stop talking to you it's time to move out. Yea I agree. Link to comment
Syntax1985 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 poor sods in a crappy situation tbh. he cnt move out, he works 2 nights a week in a supermarket, thats all the money he earns, rest of the time hes studying or seeing his gf. coz hes 23 he cant get student accomadation, so hes literally stuck with these guys. maybe i should just go talk to them.. i mean they're blanking him to the point they wont listen. its either that or just hope they grow up abit over time. *sigh. Link to comment
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