trust. my girlfriend has cheated before...

[binbags4all]

she's cheated before, and i know this and am fine with it because i trust her and love her. but today she said she was going to ask me some "what-if's". she does this quite often to see how i'd react to different situations. but today was different.

 

first she asked what would i do if she still had feelings for someone else. i said i don't know. she asked "what if it was ..." and told me the name of her ex, who i hate. i started to feel upset.

 

she asked what i'd do if she kissed someone else. i told her i'd go and hit whoever she kissed.

then she asked what i'd do if someone kissed her and she didn't pull away. i said the same thing, and said i might want to be alone for a bit to think.

 

she hid her face and said "so u want to be alone now?"

 

my stomach felt horrible and twisted. i asked her what? and she said she was only joking.

 

not long later, she asked me what if she done it ages ago, wanted to tell me, didn't, but then told me ages after it happened.

i was so scared of what she was saying.

 

and the last question was "what if i'd been cheating for ages?"

 

i felt like my heart was being ripped out. she looked as if she wanted to tell me something, i asked her to tell me what she was thinking, but she said she couldn't.

 

after all of the different questions that were just said, even though i trust her more than anything in the universe, i still couldn't help but wonder. why would she ask questions like that? they all have a similar theme to them...

 

then she got upset because she said i didn't trust her. she wanted to leave me because she didn't think i trusted her.

 

what makes it worse is she always sees this ex she mentioned earlier in school, and he's tried to feel her up a few times even though he knows she's with me. and now he's stopped being aggressive towards her, and started to act more mature around her. he even got her out of trouble with the head after hse hit another girl.

 

what am i supposed to think? i love her more than anything, and need to prove that i trust her, because she still thinks i don't trust her enough.

 

this is my first post and help and advice would be very much appreciated.

[Michael2]

Bin,

 

You have to tell her to stop playing these head games. From your post I am guessing you are both in High School.

 

I know this must bother you greatly, because it would many people. Tell her this .."what if you said the same things to you, how do you think you would feel?" It sounds to me like she gets a kick out of hurting you, what is the deal with that? Dont take this non sense, especially from a girlfriend who loves you. You are better than that. Always remember that, you are better then that.

 

It seems you are allowing her to have power over you, which in a relationship is never a plus. THe power shouldnt be shifted from one to another, but shared.

 

Tell her to cut the garbage, or else you have some serious thinking to do my friend.

[cobro]

I agree with Michael, you are letting her have the power over you. Don't worry, we all do it sometimes. Just don't let it get to the point where she determines how you feel. My ex had tremendous power over me and still does to some extent, hence the no contact rule. Once a girl has power over you she can do whatever she wants and still have you there. Forget that. Just sit down and talk to her about it and if she doesn't want to talk about it in a mature manner then she is not worth it. Good luck

 

cobro

[caliboy]

leave this girl. normal girls don't just ask these questions and play these games. she still hangs out with an ex? and she's asking you these questions? she's cheating and has been. she asks you those "hypothetical" questions to relieve herself of the guilt from cheating on you. she's dishonest. whether you'll allow yourself to see it now or make yourself wait until you find out the hard way, you can't be with someone who lies to you.

[Adski]

dude after reading your situation i feel for u, thats a horrible postion to be in and it seems as though your girlfriend is a...well not very nice. im sure that you could do a lot better than someone that does that. Get out of there as fast as you can. And dont go back.