she's cheated before, and i know this and am fine with it because i trust her and love her. but today she said she was going to ask me some "what-if's". she does this quite often to see how i'd react to different situations. but today was different.
first she asked what would i do if she still had feelings for someone else. i said i don't know. she asked "what if it was ..." and told me the name of her ex, who i hate. i started to feel upset.
she asked what i'd do if she kissed someone else. i told her i'd go and hit whoever she kissed.
then she asked what i'd do if someone kissed her and she didn't pull away. i said the same thing, and said i might want to be alone for a bit to think.
she hid her face and said "so u want to be alone now?"
my stomach felt horrible and twisted. i asked her what? and she said she was only joking.
not long later, she asked me what if she done it ages ago, wanted to tell me, didn't, but then told me ages after it happened.
i was so scared of what she was saying.
and the last question was "what if i'd been cheating for ages?"
i felt like my heart was being ripped out. she looked as if she wanted to tell me something, i asked her to tell me what she was thinking, but she said she couldn't.
after all of the different questions that were just said, even though i trust her more than anything in the universe, i still couldn't help but wonder. why would she ask questions like that? they all have a similar theme to them...
then she got upset because she said i didn't trust her. she wanted to leave me because she didn't think i trusted her.
what makes it worse is she always sees this ex she mentioned earlier in school, and he's tried to feel her up a few times even though he knows she's with me. and now he's stopped being aggressive towards her, and started to act more mature around her. he even got her out of trouble with the head after hse hit another girl.
what am i supposed to think? i love her more than anything, and need to prove that i trust her, because she still thinks i don't trust her enough.
this is my first post and help and advice would be very much appreciated.
