I think im just more of a relationship person...really down and lonely now

[Tears May Fall]

Ive come to a realization that when im single, im just not too happy. As much as i enjoy the freedom and bachelor life, at the end of the day, i realize im much happier off with someone in my life. I loved having someone to spend my free time with, talk on the phone with, look forward to plans with, etc. Even when it was just someone I was talking to, I was happier because I had someone to think about. These days Im just lonely as hell, I havent EVER been single for this long in the past 6 years of my life (and im only 24).

 

Thing thats weird is, and this is probably most people, when im single I wanna be in a relationship and when im in a relationship, I wanna be single. Not that I consider myself a wh0re in anyway, but when im in a relationship, all these other "oppurtunities" seem to keep popping up and I turn them away, but I sometimes say to myself, where are all these women when Im single and I have no commitment to anyone.

 

I wanna have my fun while im single so I dont regret it later on, but unlike most of my guy friends who also just got out of long term relationships for similar reasons, they are having the time of their life, enjoying going out every weekend, meeting new women, sleeping with all sorts of women, etc. I just havent been able to fully close out my mind on my ex and move on. I'll get girls numbers here and there but I wont exert the same type of confidence I used to in order to date them and pursue anything. I havent had ANY sort of luck in the ladies department for the past 9 months since I broke up with my ex. Then I wanted to get back with her earlier this month, and she shut me down. Ever since ive just been a lonely mess.

 

Ive just been a lame duck sitting here wasting my life. Im not doing anything exciting at all these days, im bored as hell, im lonely and miserable. Last night i was thinking about doing drugs for the first time ever in my life, I was just really lonely and depressed over at my friends place. My job is the only thing that allows a getaway from all this. But unlike before when I used to be excited to get off work and look forward to the rest of my day, nowadays Im just like ok what am i gonna do now, and ill usually just go home and go to sleep eventually.

 

This sucks...Now i finally see why people get settled down and get married, because after a while, hanging with the guys just doesnt seem fun anymore, and u want something more in your life, I just cant seem to get to that point. I feel like imma be single for the rest of my life....

[photogo]

I feel this way too bro. I don't feel the effort to go flirt with girls and get to know them. I'm under 21 and i don't see why ppl like to say, "ahh, my freedom. I can do whatever i want, etc." I like being in relationship just like how you were explaining...someone being there, someone to talk to on the phone.

 

It's funny how ppl that are single want to hook up with someone new when they broke up their relationship cuz they wanted the single life -_______- you know?? Why would you break up a relationship, then a few months later find some girl/guy then start dating them.

[SupaflyTNT]

Hey, I know it sucks breaking up with your SO but you probably only feel this way because you won't allow yourself to move on. I bet you talk to your ex regularly, right?

 

The fact that you've always been in relationships tells me that you need some serious single time to learn to be happy by yourself. It does happen, by the way, it just takes some time. Myself personally, I've been working on just having fun. I suggest you meet some new friends and start hanging out enjoying yourself. It helped me out a lot, just meeting some fresh new faces and seeing what's out there that I've been missing. It's not that hard, you can meet people everywhere if you really want to.

 

For God's sake, don't go jumping into another relationship right now, especially getting back with your ex. Work on yourself. Sit down and figure out what part of your personality you want to work on and make your mind up to do it. For the last few months I've been working on being able to talk to random people in various situations. I picked this because I felt like I was too shy in most environments for no reason. I read books on the subject, I talk to people on eNA and I practice whenever I go out and see someone I think might be interesting. The results have been ridiculous. I figured out that as long as you're happy and seem like fun people will want to talk to you and be around you. I've met tons of cool people lately. In fact, I suggest you try it too. Sounds like you just need to mix things up and keep yourself busy, eventually you'll realize that you're having a great time and you don't need anyone else to validate you.

 

If you want, shoot me a pm and I can give you some specifics on what works for me.

[Tears May Fall]

No actually I dont speak to my ex at all. Past wise, im not saying i was always in a relationship per se, but just that ive usually been the type that has always had someone im talking to/seeing/dating BUT that doesnt mean I was always in a committed relationship. Matter of fact Ive only been in two actual committed relationships in my life, my first one from 15-18 and my last from 22-24. From 18-22 it was flings, random dating, talking to someone, etc. Occasionally I would go through a dry spell for a few months, but eventually id meet someone. This time around its like Ive been in a rut for the past 9 months.

 

Ive had a TON of fun while being single throughout my years...I actually am at a point where I can say I dont really care to be single anymore as Ive had my fun and it isnt all its made out to be, it gets boring real quick...I go out all the time, do fun things, meet new people, enjoy new activites, etc...these are things Ive ALWAYS done, nothing new...I can say Ive really enjoyed my life always, whether i was in a relationship or not. Im always meeting new people and doing new things even if im in a relationship. I just wont pursue other women in a sexual manner if im in a relationship, but I have no objection to making new friends.

 

I just dont feel the same since this girl has been in my life. My entire life has changed. I cant quite exactly describe it but I dont feel like the same person. I used to much MORE outgoing and excited to meet new people, but then she kinda brought me to a realization that i had too many friends whom i thought were all really good friends but she made me realize which were ones were actually real friends versus the ones i should just call acquaintances. I had TOOOO many friends for most of my time through high school and college, and now ive weeded out a bunch of those and pretty much hang out almost all the time with only my close friends that i grew up with. They are people that Ive known for decades and we are all very close, unlike the other people that ive weeded out to be just acquaintances.

 

But something just doesnt feel right without her in my life, I dont know how to explain it. I was (atleast in belief) that I was completely over her for the first 6 months after we broke up. Then i took a step back and went into a long thinking process about who I am, why I behave certain ways, etc and I realized that she was someone I trully did enjoy, but wasnt sure if i wanted a relationship when i was with her. Now that I have realized that she is the one I wanna be with tho, she doesnt wanna be with me...