lockedout Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I know it's not much, but believe me, it is . . . eight days now. And feeling better every day, because I'm starting to realize that I'm slowly gaining control of my life again. Each day I heal a little more, each day, making her wonder if I dropped off the face of the earth, lol! I miss her, but I know from listening to all on this site, that this is the better path to take! And it is, I still think she may call or text, but I'm hoping to get over that too, soon! But, thanks again for all the posts, we are in this together and we really aren't alone! It is best to carry on and discover the stronger, wiser "you" that is hidden beneath the pain, and that slowly emerges from NC!! =) slowly getting there! Link to comment
lapseinjudgement Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 yay congrats my friend! But just be wary of the dreaded relapse haha. But take each step one at a time and im glad to hear you've made a good start! Link to comment
locolady Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 hey, good work, i'm on 7 days, having started for the hundreth time! i know from a previous experience that its the only way. My last ex-boyfriend told me once (about 2 years after we split up, and a year after I finally managed to stop contacting him) that it was only after we stopped talking that he was able to remember the good times and miss me. We have some sort of friendship now which is nice and I dont hurt about it anymore. If only i could have remembered that with my recent relationship ending but hey, sometimes we have to make all the mistakes again anyway! So, now i'm on day 7 and counting. Good luck to you, i'm convinced it helps! Link to comment
lockedout Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 Hey lapseinjudgement, thanks for the advice, I know! I still feel it, but it's getting better. Love this quote! "I live in my own little world.... but its ok they know me here." by the way! Link to comment
BlueEyedBoy Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Day 11. Agreed, it does help so much. Just over a month since the breakup and only since NC have I began to heal. Can't seem to quite stop myself from looking at facebook profile yet though. Ouch, Ouch. Fingers burned every single time. Why do I do it to myself? At least one thing though...., as a result of what I see I know theres no chance of her caling me so I dont have to wonder about that Link to comment
Wotgorilla Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Good for you, lockedout, I'm on day 5 of NC, though the last message was a text. I woke up desperately wanting her back and willing to try anything, but now I'm more accepting.......... Link to comment
lockedout Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 Hang in there all! We can all do this together! It is hard but knowing that there are others that share the same feelings, we can make it! Let's start feeling good about ourselves and taking our lives back. No more someone else feeling like they have something over us! Be Strong! Make them Wonder, if they've made the right decision! Don't look back, let's get on with our lives!! The Force is With You? lol Link to comment
lockedout Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 Let's keep counting the days, til there's too many days that go by to remember how many there is!! =) Link to comment
love_stinks Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 You should take Superdave's 30-day No Contact Challenge. I believe that thread is in the "Getting Back Together" section. It has about a billion responses. You definitely don't feel alone in that thread . . . Link to comment
lockedout Posted September 23, 2008 Author Share Posted September 23, 2008 Thanks, I'll have to take a look at that one! Still having problems. She's always on my mind. Isn't it amazing how you can feel so much for a person, but then she feels nothing back. I can't get over it . . . I keep thinking she had her fair reasons for not letting me back in. But, dang I was really hoping she would've realized that we may've had something, well we kind of did. Til' I got confused . . . =( Still, NC tho! 9 days now, and not really feeling to good about it today. Link to comment
lkonohalanbu Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 I have the same thoughts about my my special some one, but I beat myself with the reality of things. It's done, she may never care, but it shouldn't matter because you can now focus 100% on yourself, I was going crazy, this is my first breakup and first love. It really does get better with time, but you need to try really hard to change your thought pattern! If not, you're only delaying your healing, what did it for me is actually realizing she is moving on and not looking back. I'm moving on but I keep looking back, slowly I look less and less but focus on who I was during the breakup, needy, clingy, and just a big baby. I know what I need to work on, you should try improving too, it does wonders! Just have a positive attitude and understand everything will be okay sooner or later. =D Link to comment
love_stinks Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 lockedout. Break No Contact and, for one reason or another, you'll be sorry you did. Once you break it, you can't take it back. Trust me. Link to comment
lockedout Posted September 24, 2008 Author Share Posted September 24, 2008 Thanks for the encouragement "lovestinks"!! I will not break NC, it is because of members of this site like you, that I absolutley love enotalone.com! This website should win some sort of award!! Me no break NC! thanks again! =) Day 10, by the way! Link to comment
Dani0613 Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Day 9 for me. Believe me, I know how hard this is for you. I keep battling with myself because, while I want to let this go, the thought of actually letting her go is killing me. It bothers me that someone can go from being such an important part of my life to, well, a complete stranger again I am struggling with the reality that the bond we had will eventually be gone. I guess if the bond was THAT strong, it will, in some way, shape or form still be there after time elapses. Even still, it's very hard. But, I know that I did everything to preserve the relationship and she knows how I feel. I was able to walk away with my dignity, even though I was a blubbery mess when the words 'I love you but I have to let you go' came out of my mouth... Link to comment
lockedout Posted September 24, 2008 Author Share Posted September 24, 2008 Hang in there Dani0613, you are not alone! We feel it too! Stay strong and NC all the way! It's one of the things that you can call your own! stay focused and be strong! Link to comment
Dani0613 Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 I'm trying buddy...you too! Link to comment
lockedout Posted September 29, 2008 Author Share Posted September 29, 2008 Messed up, broke NC, I was weak! Putting myself down now. Why, after 12 days, what is wrong with me? Ended up calling her! =( Link to comment
Dani0613 Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 Whelp, you have just pick yourself up and start over again! I'm on day 14 right now. And, JUST when I want to break down and reach out, I say to myself....'Self (lol), why bother? What's it going to prove? What good could come out of it?' She knows how I feel and that I need to be left alone and she's respecting that decision. Do I miss her? Sure as hell do. But, I've done all I can to work things out. She's not willing and wants to be alone. Well then, she's got it. I'm not going to give in and be her friend while she goes thru whatever it is she's going thru. Screw that. This will be the first time that we've truly gone without ANY kind of contact since we've been broken up. Together 1.5 years. Broken up 4.5 months. No Contact, 14 days! Link to comment
lockedout Posted September 29, 2008 Author Share Posted September 29, 2008 Day 3 Thanks Dani0613 for the reassurance. Time to start all over, can't believe it. I was coming off a midnight shift Friday morning. Went to bed at 8:30 am and woke up at 10:30 am, to pick my kids up at noon. I was so tired, my son mentioned her and wondered why she hadn't been around as much. I broke down, picked up the phone and dialed the number. Asked her if she needed some pictures of her daughters dance, printed off, cuz I was going to take them off my flickr account. Then I was like, "Hey, we had something." . . . . . We talked about 20 minutes, then when I got off the phone, I felt horrible. Rejected again . . dang, man! WHY?! Never again! Together 1.25 years, broken up 2 months, just broke 12 days of no contact, now at day 3 NC, again! Link to comment
coyote1980 Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 Hey guys! First of all, lockedout, I think you are doing great! I'm on day 1 myself, and I still feel like poop. My throat closing up everytime I think about him etc. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this. Link to comment
lockedout Posted September 29, 2008 Author Share Posted September 29, 2008 Sounds like you are doing good Dani, hang in there, and I swear DO NOT DO what I did. It will be the worst feeling ever, once you do. I gave her control again. =( Link to comment
lockedout Posted September 29, 2008 Author Share Posted September 29, 2008 You are not alone Coyote! I will do this, this time! and you will too! Link to comment
confused_255 Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 hey man good job, its super hard, im on day 5 of NC, i want to call her so badly, wondering why she hasn't called me but everyday i am getting a little better and i thnk of her less, i try not to look at her facebook or pictures or anything because then i get back in the slum of thinking about her and missing her, we can push on together as a team !! we will get through this and be stronger for it!! good luck all and keep at it! stay strong ! im trying as i know you guys are !! Link to comment
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