i'm tired of being alone and missing him- i want someone to save me

[Caterina]

I started a new job that may have oppurtunities to get into a relationship. Its like, I'm always reading on this forum about women who are hit on like seven times a day. I'm not hit on seven times a day, at all. And if I do get hit on,its usually by men I'm not interested in in any way. I'm just starting to lose hope. I just wish it was easier.

[Nurseman]

Ok, unless you want to spend some very uncomfortable time in the HR Department, don't look for relationships at work.

 

Go where everybody else does.....a bar. You don't have to be stunning or even very pretty. Just sit at the bar, buy yourself one drink, and be approachable. Guys will be lining up to talk to you.

[HellFrost666]

You want someone to save you? Take control and save yourself.

[Caterina]

I've gone to a bar, and you're right. But I'm not into men that are only interested in getting into my pants.

 

I'm pretty attractive, I think, but maybe I'm wrong?

[JadedStar]

I agree with hellfrost. To say you want someone to save you sounds like you have some work to do on yourself first.

[JadedStar]

Oh, and people who get hit on seven times a day most likely are in VERY social situations, not just walking down the street. Personally i think most women hit on in that frequency - and i dont care if she is gorgeous - are probably hanging out in a lot of bars and other very highly social interactive places.

 

Men don't normally go around asking women out at work or in grocery stores, and if they do the numbers are rather low.

[Caterina]

Well, I just mean from my loneliness. Not in a "look how effed up my life is, save me" kind of way.

[JadedStar]

Ok, unless you want to spend some very uncomfortable time in the HR Department, don't look for relationships at work.

 

Go where everybody else does.....a bar. You don't have to be stunning or even very pretty. Just sit at the bar, buy yourself one drink, and be approachable. Guys will be lining up to talk to you.

 

I didn't even read this before my other response but you are right. This is how many women get hit on so many times in a day. LOL

[Raistlin]

I started a new job that may have oppurtunities to get into a relationship. Its like, I'm always reading on this forum about women who are hit on like seven times a day. I'm not hit on seven times a day, at all. And if I do get hit on,its usually by men I'm not interested in in any way. I'm just starting to lose hope. I just wish it was easier.

 

The line in bold is what caught me.

 

You are getting hit on, based on your own statement. Granted, you may not have an immediate attraction to these men based on their looks, but have you given them a fair chance?

 

I'm not stunning, or hot, or even cute (IMO), so most women just look past me on a first glance. But its when women get to know me is when I become desirable. It's disheartening to know that so many people DO get attention then complain that they don't like it, or don't get the attention they want.

 

If you want to draw a "different crowd" of men, you need to place yourself in a different social situation.

 

Men at work will always be in one line to you - guys you work with. Maybe you should get out there and be more socially active (clubs, sports, etc) and try to meet men that way. At least this way, you're garnering attention in a different way and have more of a chance to gauge different men you may be interested in.

 

Or, you could just blow off all attention you're getting and pretend it doesn't matter.

 

Either way, you need to take control of you before anyone else can step in.

[dogwood]

caterina, i know how you feel. i broke up with my ex in june - it was a really messy breakup, and i loved her more than anything.. so of cousre i felt really lonely and * * * * ty right away, and am still in the getting over process.

 

i kindof spent all summer self-destructing so to speak.. and put myself out there more than was necessary - whether it be for dates or random sex..

 

i've kindof chilled out now, especially cuz school starts tomorrow, but i guess i'm just saying i totally understand that feeling of lonliness when you've just ended something or miss someone. it's almost worse than when before you met them, cause you didn't know what you were missing. and you just want someone, anyone to be with you to distract you from it all.

 

but i think it hurts less when we stop trying so hard, and lose that concept of needing someone to feel ok. i know it's hard and here i am trying to convince you when i don't even think i've convinced myself.

 

but just hang in there, an awesome guy will find you

[ghost69]

haven't we told you over and over again to make moves on guys you find attractive?

[SupaflyTNT]

I've gone to a bar, and you're right. But I'm not into men that are only interested in getting into my pants.

 

I'm pretty attractive, I think, but maybe I'm wrong?

 

You're in control of who gets into your pants and who doesn't. Why not try giving some guys a chance and see where it goes? I don't know if you've been told this before but not every guy at the bar that talks to you is a complete pervert. I go to bars all the time, it's one of my favorite things to do, and I'm only half a pervert.

[WithSomeLove]

You know, what makes a person beautiful is how they were created. When you find your beauty in that, everyone else will.

I cannot say that finding beauty in yourself will make you happy because we all have a need to be desired.

If you do not want men who only want to get in your pants, where are those guys?

Are you attempting to be around them?

[StrawberryYogurt]

First, work is not a good place to look for a relationship. Second, why don't you try asking guys out yourself. Obviously what you've been doing to this point has not worked. Third, I don't feel sorry for you at all, you do get hit on after all. Fourth, you need to put yourself in better position to meet guys like co-rec sports leagues, volunteering, church, social clubs, alumni events, etc.