help.. jealousy

[radiotone]

well last night, i attacked my girlfriend on the phone with these wild accusations and things i said that pretty much sums up my whole jealousy. things like "i bet you look at that guy all the time, and think ooh his body is better than my boyfriends" or something stupid like that.

 

well that lead to a whole conversation like that and as always, being the butthead i am sometimes, i let tension build up. i started to get more paranoid and we attacked eachother with accusations like that (long distance relationship indeed)

 

once my mind goes on that track of mind, i start thinking badly and accuse her of being shallow. cause it leads all the way back of reading her online journal entries about how hot a guy was and she did it a lot. but the thing that pissed me off the most last night, was how i thought that since she has innocent pictures of guys from movies and t.v up on her wall and thinking they're "silly". - SHE'D freak out if i had innocent pictures of girls from movies and t.v on MY wall and thinking THEY'RE "silly" or something

 

i attacked her with that and she didn't say anything. we argued again and then she said she wanted to tell me something. that she felt bad that i don't know about this particular crush she had. and she told me about him

 

a spanish guitarist guy (like me). and she went on how she saw him play flashy solo-like guitar stuff in school. and how she liked that about him.

 

AND i remember me talking about MY crushes awhile back, and SHE freaked out saying "ooh, they better be bitches" and i told her "well they're nice" and she freaked out.

 

AND last night, I said about her spanish crush "well he's a douchebag" and she said that he wasn't. that he was nice kid

 

???? i don't know WHY that bothers me

 

it's been bothering me ever since. all we talked about last night was insecurites i had about her not thinking i'm sexy or exciting or not boring.

 

and suddenly i felt this huge depression hit me. thinking thoughts like how much i don't excite her. and pretty much putting myself down. how i don't impress her. and i just don't know why it's depressing me

 

it still is. it cut into my school work today and i want it to stop.

to make things fair, she had to worry about things i told her about my ex-girlfriend and it makes me feel like i'm a douche for getting depressed about this crap. but since i'm her first boyfriend, it makes me feel like she's going to get bored of me one day and i think so many thoughts. it makes me so mad for thinking it. i can't think rationally

 

i'm so scared too. and i feel this constant anger/sadness

 

am i just being childish???

help....

[QTpie87]

i think that you two should sit down together at a time while you are both calm and work it out. my ex and i had that poblem, he wouldn't admitt that he was jealous but he would always be like well all the other guys you think are cute don't look anything like me. well all i am saying is just get it out in the open, let eachother know that you love eachother and can trust one another. if you don't do this and start working on it now then you will prob. be sorry latter, just like me.

well go ahead and pm me if you want and i'll try to help if you have anymore questions.

see ya,

love Qtpie87

[enadevoli]

its one thing to feel jealous, but its another to accuse your partner of things like that when you aren't sure. honestly, she probably does look at other guys. she probably does see guys around that she thinks are hot. just because she has a bf doesn't mean that she automaically thinks all other guys are unattractive. but the thing is, she chose you. she obviously thinks you are good looking & she finds you to be some one that she likes like that. i mean, to be honest, my bf doesn't have like that perfect muscular body, & i do see other guys around that do have nicer bodies, even his twin brother has a nicer body, but that doesn't change my feelings for him. i love him more than anything & even though i may see a cute guy accross the room, it doesn't mean any thing. to me those guys are just other guys, i would never even consider trading my bf for them. you just have to realize that your gf likes something about you. she did chose you to be with right now. i think your relationship has trust issues. i think you should just talk to her & straighten things out with her. let her know that she is the only girl you want to be with right now. try to gain each others trust.