radiotone

my girlfriend spent the whole weekend with me while i was sick. i love her so much and we had a good time. the best time. but she left to go back home today and i immediately missed her a lot. it doesn't always happen when i see her, but it always happens when i spend a whole weekend with her. i cry a lot and miss her a lot. not seeing her on my bed or in my room really makes me sad. even though i see her very often and doesnt live very far. i dont know. i was just wondering if everyone gets like that? or maybe a certain event in my life might of made me like this.. and i think i know which one. thanks

i'm just talking about pot. i've tried it myself and i'm just not into it at all. and i made that decision indeed. but now it seems (to me) that there are less people out there that just don't smoke pot at all. i've never met anyone (near my age) who clearly agrees with me that pot is just not their thing. well, my girlfriend thinks like that too but she's had a "relationship" with it when she was younger. she'd smoke pot a lot and she has her emotions to it. thats respectable. she then just stopped and never got back into the habit. though she's admitted in the past she was curious and smoked last year (before she met me). it really upset me to hear that. because here i thought thinking she wasn't going to anymore but curiosity struck her to smoke pot. it really bothers me to know that she WANTED to do that.. she reassures me that she doesn't want to touch the stuff ever again. but it makes me worry what if her curiosity strikes her again? i know i shouldn't make such a big deal about smoking pot since it doesn't hurt others and it's practically harmless (depending on how you view it). but i do really want to know if there's people out there who don't touch the stuff at all anymore.

my girlfriend has never given me a reason to not trust her but lately i've been feeling threatened by this guy who visits her at work. she works at a grocery store and this guy pays her a quick visit all the time. he's single and everything. i had no problem with them talking and whatever. i even didnt have a problem with her finding him cute. but lately he's been sending her myspace messages all the time. messages to her that are like "oh man i was blushing so bad when i was talking to you" and normal "hey whats up what are you up to?" messages. she even replied to one of them saying "you're sooo cute". i find this uncomfortable. it's obvious to him that she's with me because of her myspace but it doesnt seem this guy won't quit pursuing her. and it's very obvious that he is. he has never asked her out though, and my girlfriend said if he ever did she'd say no of course. but i don't know if i'm valid with my argument of being uncomfortable with their myspace messages. it makes me feel very uncomfortable knowing the fact that someone like him is chasing after her. (steming from self-esteem and trust issues). i just don't know how to approach it and make myself feel comfortable. i know she'll never do anything with him and she has said that all the time. but i get angry at the fact that it seems she's always leading him on all the time. i dont know what to do. help me think clearly. thank you

thanks, i will. i really appreciate your responses

to be honest, she's very intimate when we do have sex. i guess its just circumstances. not enough time, school, work, we're not alone most of the time, tiredness. i guess she just does that cause it's convenient and cause i'm not there. i hope its that i guess. i have a lot of questions i want to ask her about it, to understand - but ill have to wait tonight. i'm 20 and my hormones are raging i guess. it's just hard to control my impulses and need for sex. i'm afraid i'm starting to come off as "sexually obsessed" to her. because i'm making this subject so much more important than it really is. is that wrong?

is masturbating and sex, the mood you're in, different for women? its the same for me. masturbating is just me not being able to have sex with her. but its not like that for her. i dont get it at all

i just feel really bad that i feel like this. i feel like all i care about is sex, which isn't true. everytime i try to talk about it with her, she makes me feel like all i care about is sex. and that i should respect her. i do. it's just it feels not fair that she doesn't have to go through what i'm going through when she doesn't want to have sex and i do. she can always be sexually satisfied and i can't. is that just the way it works? am i being a big baby about it? these damn hormones..

she has a fetish for belly buttons. she likes looking at pictures and videos. it affects her tremendously. well, it's not like we don't have sex. we do. whenever she's in the mood. which isn't much because she takes medication. we have sex about once every two weeks or week. and when we do have sex, she does put a lot of effort. it just sorta makes me jealous cause it feels she likes to pleasure herself more than sex it seems.

i'm jealous that my girlfriend masturbates to 'porn' she searches for on her computer. i'm not jealous of the 'porn', cause it's not really 'porn' - it's nothing sexual and there's no nudity. it's just a fetish of hers. but i feel jealous that she feels sexual and i'm not there to satisfy her. whenever she does it, she's always home alone and i'm too busy to come over. and lately we haven't been sexual together because she's never in the mood. i talked to her about this and she said that the mood she's in when she wants to masturbate is different than her mood for sex. because masturbation is something she does by herself and all of that. but the jealousy comes from the fact that she masturbates more than we have sex. is it just a girl thing? cause i'd choose having sex with her than masturbating. i might not be very rational right now, i'd say it's more my emotions as i'm writing this cause i get confused by it can someone enlighten me?

you're probably going through what my girlfriend is going through. i have trust issues and i do the same things your girlfriend does to you. its nuts. the defense mechanisms really kick in and sometimes we don't know what we're saying. i've said a lot of hurtful stuff to her and made her cry sometimes. it's not good. but you have know that whenever someone goes nuts because of some trust issues, they absolutely BELIEVE that everything they're saying makes sense. even though it doesn't at all. what you're doing is fine. she's been hurt in the past - it's NOT your job to take care of her past issues. but it IS your job to be there and support her and understand. i don't know how my girlfriend does it, but she's completely understanding. and i completely appreciate and love her for that. but yes, there is a point where you should draw the line. don't make her feel like she can say things like that to you. otherwise she won't realize what she's doing is horribly wrong. trust is everything. and she should continue getting help and realize it before she loses you. just hang in there and support her

is that right? is not that normal in a healthy relationship? me and my girlfriend have been pretty busy lately (with school and work) and we've been having sex a lot less than we used to before. i'm a very sexual person and sometimes it can get out of hand. if i want to have sex and she doesn't, i take it personally. thats how out of hand it gets. we do have sex, but once a week now i'd say. and it's mostly just intercourse. we rarely do anything else. i get reeally turned on by her. from a certain outfit she wears, to just thinking that she's sexually appealing. and i have poor impulse problems. and i also don't make it known that i want to have sex because i'm ashamed of how frequent i'm in the mood. unless i REALLY want to have sex. there are times where she makes time for us to make love and she wants it romantic and we do make love. and its great. i suppose i just want sex at the most inappropiate times. (when shes about to leave for work or school) but lately now i've been sorta sad that we haven't been having much of it. i feel as if i'm not attractive or she finds sex not stimulating with me anymore. or she's not excited by the thought. she's always busy i guess. and sometimes i feel jealous when i know she's masturbated. because it seems she's masturbating more than having sex with me. sometimes my hormones get out of control. but i'm 20 i guess. but this insecurity i get from it is not something i like feeling can anyone relate?

so things are going great between me and the girlfriend. though we had a rift last night. we were having a conversation about her older brother and his friend. and suddenly she tells me that one time, 2 years ago, she made out with her older brother's friend while they were drinking. it completely caught me off-guard. we've had fights about this. apparently we see things a bit different. she can kiss and make out and do sexual things (besides sex) with people she doesn't have feelings for. i'm talking about when she's SINGLE. and that completely bothers me. because to me, i take those things very meaningfully. so whats the big deal, right? it's not like she's single anymore, she's with me. heres the problem.. my brain goes into alert mode because of that. i start judging my trust with her and i worry. i've heard SO many stories of her making out, doing sexual things with people. sometimes happening when she's been drinking. and i worry about that. cheating especially. and now i worry about her drinking. it's making me hit my head against the wall. it bothers me.. i talked about it with her and she assures me she will never cheat on me. she has never given me a reason not to trust her. and that she'll never do anything to hurt me. it's just my brain making me feel so judgemental. i get angry and feel like she's a * * * * * who drinks and makes out with guys and it pisses me off. a bit extreme eh? what the hell is this? thank you

i did apologize and everything's fine. we're still going. i dont see it as a threat so much, but it just bothers me that i dont like it. i'm afraid she'll love me less because of it. or confide in her friends over the whole situation

i messed up again tonight with my girlfriend. there's a band that she completely loves thats playing a concert this week. and she said she wanted to go, so i bought her and me tickets to go see them. i personally didn't really like the band when i heard a couple of their songs. this was a month ago. and that bothered her. because she's in love with the band. i bought the tickets because i just thought it'd be nice to take her there and just show her a good time. she's been talking nonstop about the show. she was really surprised that i bought them. she told me how all of her friends love the band, her close friends - and automatically, i felt like the odd man out. i felt like she was making me feel stupid and abnormal for not liking them at first. so i kinda got annoyed by it. BUT! that wasn't her point at all. she then said how the concert might change my whole perspective on the band and how i'll end up liking them. and i turned into an * * * * * * *. i kept saying how "why are you making me feel bad? did you want me to take you? are you wishing your other friends took you?" and kept saying things like that. and she was hurt. and angered. she said how it's completely unfair for me to accuse her of not being appreciative and how she was just repeating what i said about the band. she said i 'bashed' them and i got annoyed. i dont know why i do this. i make it seem like she says things but means it a different way. a negative way. she also accused me of being manipulative of her feelings and how i completely turn it around and make it seem she's being insulting and making me feel bad when she didn't do anything at all. i messed up. i dont know why i do this. i have to stop doing that. i hate this about myself. it isn't me. i feel i'm like this because i still have this negative "everyone has an agenda" feeling that i had back in high school. anyone else like this? EDIT: just wondering, is anyone with someone that has an intrest, or favorite band - that they just can't stand or don't like?

you are absolutely right, Scout. those areas of my life are severly neglected. it's come to a point where all i want to do with my girlfriend is talk about how bad things are with me and how she can make me feel better. but thats just nuts because she wants to be with ME, not some guy who constantly needs to talk about things. i want us to have fun again. i want us to do things like we used to and just have a blast. i'm working on being more open and friendly towards people. maybe the people i work with have more in common with me than i think. i shouldn't have to rely on my girlfriend so much to the point where i panic if she doesn't call for awhile, or when she decides to take some time away from me a bit. i automatically assume it's cause she's losing intrest in me. i texted her last night saying it hurt me that i reacted the way that i did. and i plan on apologizing again to her briefly and just let her know that i know what the problem is and that im not completely blind from it. but of course, it'll all be brief because i want to prove to her that things will work out and become better.. it's just really hard sometimes. it really is

i've been with my girlfriend for over 6 months now. i love her very much. she's a very positive person who will do anything to help me out with work or school. it's just now i'm starting to worry if i'm becoming too clingy.. we spent the weekend together and had a good time. her school's about a half hour away from me. so on Sunday, i asked her if she was going to stay over my house that night - and she replied no because she had work to do and laundry and such. and for some reason, i wouldn't accept that answer. so i asked her why and why can't you do your work at my house? and she became irritated. then i asked if i can stay over her house and she said no. then i became very angered. i really wish i didn't and i know it's wrong. i was angered because this coming week, i'll have to work 24 hours. and that doesn't leave much time for me to see her. she lives an hour away from me. i told her this and she said we'll see each other. i wasn't satisfied. i kept acting as if this was going to be the last time we'd see each other for a long time. i tend to do that because my last relationship was a long distance one. so we continued to argue and i really upset her. most of it having to do with my stress. from work, school and just my social life. i hate spending time alone at my house when i have nothing to do. i used to spend time writing and recording music but i lost intrest. i really don't have friends to hang out with. my best friend has changed, he's turning into an alcoholic. and another good friend is 17 and she's busy and she is just a confused person. and another good friend of mine went away to school. I've made friends at work but i really don't have much in common with them except for the fact that we work together and we just joke around. no friends i can seriously pour my heart to. and my girlfriend's social life is completely different. she has all of these friends she has common intrests with, who call her up sometimes and ask to hang out. i compare myself to her and i feel really un-normal. i get angered by it and i take it out on her. so if i am becoming too clingy, i really don't have much of a social life to go to. i wish i made more friends in high school. i try to get in touch with those people on myspace but we never really have anything in common. i just don't have time or patience to make new friends. i go back to school in a few weeks and i've never really made friends at school either. it's a technical school, not a real college. and most people there are potheads and just weird people. all of this is unhealthy because i'm confiding in my girlfriend too much. most of the people i talk to and hang out with are depressing people who don't go to college and just work and are unhappy with themselves. my girlfriend's the only positive person i know. and i should really stop being like this before she decides to break up with me. i really have no idea what to do.. thank you

oh she didn't ask him to see a movie alone with him. it's just there was a time earlier in our relationship where HE asked her to come over his place and watch a movie. but she didn't. she didn't because it was early in our relationship and she wanted to establish trust. but NOW, she says to me that if he asks her again - she'll go.

me and my girlfriend had a heated argument last night. she's friends with her guitar teacher, he's 30 and they've known each other for a long time. he sent her a message on myspace, talking about how all three of us should get together and make music. she replied and when she wrote "i miss you!!" - jealously sparked. because she was romantically interested in him years ago and they kissed and all of that. wayy before she met me. she knew i was upset so we talked about it. not so good at first but we eventually calmed a bit. but then she brought up how if one day he'll ask her to come over to his place and watch a movie alone - she'll go. i got very uncomfortable. i know i have trust issues with her but i still find it very uncomfortable that she'd do that. she says she understands it from my point of view but she assures that i have nothing to worry about. and that the fact that her parents trust him, should help. but i wasn't calm at all and i started freaking out. i was scared by the fact that she thought it was okay - knowing that i've only met him once. she got madder saying how she knew him before i did and that she shouldn't have to not hang out with her friend only because of me. the thing i'm confused about is whether i'm right or wrong - thinking that i'd be uncomfortable. am i right? because it seems suspicious and inappropiate to do something like that? - or am i wrong? because i should put trust into her and make no big deal about it? EDIT: i should probably bring up the fact that she does love me very much. she always cares about me and insists she will never do anything hurtful to me..

not to bring up another issue, but we've been having problems with sexual positions and trying to make her orgasm through penetration. because all the time, whenever we have sex, i cum but then she has to masturbate to cum. there was a time where she was close but i was way too tired and i lasted as long as i can. she likes it pretty hard so it's going to take me awhile to do that without cumming. any tips?

i agree with you on the whole 'no mastubation' thing. i think it makes it worse too. i should try to take my mind off my train of thought whenever i feel like i want to. also, just romantic and intimate sex we have - i rarely cum too fast. thanks for the advice, i know i'll do my best and follow up with that. though sometimes we have these times where we incorporate our fetishes into sex, well not really sex - but just sexual playfulness - we don't have sex but we orgasm and all of that. do you think we should lessen that too? cause i cum way too fast whenever we do that too.

i've never really had a normal active sex life with someone before like i do with my girlfriend now. and just now i'm REALLY starting to realize how different a man's sex drive is to a woman's sex drive. we had a talk about this the other day and she said her sex drive is really 'paced' - as to me, i'm ready to go anytime. lately i've been finding more things about her that turn me on a lot and it's been making it harder for me to go at her pace. i 'relieve myself' most of them and all of that but its not that same, really. i feel like i have no control over my urges. it just feels too much to take in for me. so there's a conflict inside of me whenever we talk sex, i WANT to ask her stuff but at the same time i don't because i know i'll be too turned on. do all guys go through this with their girlfriends? also, i find that i've been cumming too fast whenever i have sex with her because i've been thinking about it a lot. and when i'm finished, i feel ashamed. i was pretty sheltered when i was younger so i dont know if that has anything to do with it. should i discuss this with her? how can i last longer when i have all of these thoughts about it? i want to enjoy it rather than just be too turned on and finish. any tips?

i've been getting into irregular fights lately with my girlfriend. the thing is though, it's all about her past. and how two completely different people we were in middle school/high school. i'm 20 and shes 20. i was a quiet un-social type who was afraid of the whole alcohol and drug thing. she was the complete opposite. a lot of friends, drank a lot - did drugs like smoking pot all the time and other stuff. so you can see the difference there.. the last argument started when i found out one of her ex-boyfriends messaged her on myspace. i wasn't upset that he messaged her, but it brought back the fact that they were off and on at one point. this was all BEFORE she met me, it was years ago - back when she was in 9th grade or something. and the thing i was upset with was that HE cheated on his girlfriend with her (my girlfriend). for some reason, my whole brain went into attack/lecture mode. i told her how i thought it was wrong of her to participate in someone cheating on his girlfriend. but then she said how she was single and how she didn't do anything wrong. but considering i'm such a nice guy, i thought it was wrong of her. at first she thought i was joking about the whole thing and called me a 'dweed' and 'dad' because i kept saying it was wrong. i don't know why but i felt like i wanted her to KNOW and FEEL like what she did was wrong. but obviously you can't do that. she retorted saying how she doesn't fit in 'my perfect little box' and all of that. sometimes i get reminded of her doing all of this drug and alcohol crap she did when she was in high school and it really pisses me off for some reason. i just want to yell at her for being such an idiot and doing all of that stuff and thinking it was fun and all of that. she still recalls experiences today with me, ("oh yeeah, i remember that time. i was high on mushrooms"). it just really angers me. we've had fights like this before and i really hurt her feelings. she tells me how she grew up and how she doesn't do that stuff anymore at all and how it upsets her to know that i think she'll do that stuff again. i just feel like i wouldn't want to be with her anymore if she does that stuff again. so i told her and she claims it's insecurity. but in all honesty, it wasn't because i just can't stand being with someone like that. so i think i'm entitled to decide whether i break up with them or not. but just now i realized i have an obsession with her past and how i've been having trouble accepting it. how much of a different person she was back then. sometimes it makes me feel we don't see eye-to-eye on moral issues. it's not like she thinks cheating on someone is right or anything. i just want to know for sure that there's people out there who were completely different years ago and have changed their ways and have stayed TRUE to that. i also realize that when i talk about stuff like this i go off into MANY different little subjects and go off into tangents. so i'm sorry if i did that just now. thank you

as you know from my previous posts, i've been up and down on my relationship with my girlfriend. i find her to be a really great girl. i enjoy her humor, her presense, her intellect and just herself. i love her very much. but as i didn't know before, i think i am depressed. and for awhile, i always made it seem like it her fault for some reason. making her feel like a bad girlfriend, which she is not. i've also lost intrest in most of my hobbies, school and work. my priorities are mixed up and i've been irresponsible lately. with money and work - not with my relationship. i would never cheat on her. i've also been clingy to her and feel like i run away from my problems by being with her. but things always pop up and make us fight. over the stupidest things. things about a relationship that i dont want to accept but will have to.. my last relationship was for 2 years and it was unhealthy, i admit. we were both introverted insecure people who were repressed socially and sexually. and it did a lot of harm of how i view relationships. to the point where my girlfriend will accuse me of trying to control her thoughts or actions. my last relationship was also a long distance one, which makes me clingy. i explained all of this to my girlfriend but everything i want to talk about with her - she can't do anything about. there's no problems between us, it's all just me. i have abandonment issues and insecurity issues i have to overcome. my girlfriend insisted i seek professional help because it is hurting our relationship. i have a lot of baggage in my head that i feel i don't want to think about at all and if i seriously think about all of the things i must accept - i feel like i want to kill myself because i don't want to accept that reality of things because i'm afraid i can't handle it. but this isn't often. i am a happy person most of the time and i was really reluctant to seek help. i really didn't think i was depressed because i didn't FEEL depressed. i am a jealous person too and it all stems from those issues. it all started when my girlfriend asked a friend of hers if she had any 'cute' professors. and then it lead on to me asking her if she fantasizes about other men. and it was just horrible. me asking all of these stupid irregular questions. and all it did was me threatening to break up with her because i felt like i was so weird and so stupid. she didn't really handle it well either because she made me feel like i was this stupid weird human.. thing. i admit i was stupid and immature but to just feel like i've got a lot of things to accept and think about makes me feel sick. i know it's all immature. i seriously love her though, honestly. we have a lot in common and we both strive for creativity together and want the same things. we flow together so perfectly about everything. it's just this depression of mine and my issues that harm it. she's very understanding as well, saying that she's worried about me and that she wants me to get help. she respects how i am like and accepts it but also wants me to become the better person i know i can be. and i want to. yet i feel so much pressure because i really don't have much time to fix it because of school and work and resposiblities. does all of this make sense to anyone? anyone been through something similar? i am currently looking for a therapist.

there was a time where my current girlfriend told me that one of her ex-boyfriend's thought her clitoris was big. and just hearing that really angered me because i thought it was inappropiate to say something like that, i thought. i feel like i just want to yell at her for saying that me. i feel so angry. we ended up having a really big fight that day, mostly having to do with me not accepting her active sexual past and how i dont have a sexual past, really. this happened a month ago and just now i was reminded of it and i feel insecure and really upset. we've been together for 4 months and we've been sexually active, so of course - my stupid mind wants to bring all of this up again now. she's downstairs asleep as we speak and i really dont want to fight with her but i can't help the stupid feelings. i want to tell her that saying stuff like that makes me feel inadequate and insecure about my sexual performance. her ex-boyfriends have performed oral sex on her and i do too and i'm really insecure about it. i dont know what im feeling, all i feel is just anger and bitterness. she hasn't said anything like that since that day.. i dont know how to deal with stuff like this by myself. i can't just fight with her and feel better about it because she didn't do anything at all...she loves me and really cares about me. she says she doesnt care at all that i dont have as much experience as she does and she assures me that i'm good at it. i hate feeling insecure about sex. i wish i wasnt reminded of that dumb comment she made. i dont know how to deal with it.. i'm upset thank you

i've been with my girlfriend for 5 months. i love her, i admit it. there's a lot of things about her that i cherish and adore. but she's a really independent person. she doesn't like feeling 'trapped' or held back by relationships. she loves me and she feels the same way. i know she does. but i'm worried about the road ahead of us. i've been dealing with jealousy and intimidation i get from her and her guy friends. she's been helping me overcome it and i have been. lately we've been having fights about how our personalitys conflict on a social status. she's very flirty and will flirt with someone to get to know them. she loves meeting new people and learning about them and networking. i have no problem with this at all. it's just i feel sometimes she forgets she's in a relationship with me. she would go on about a guy she sometimes sees at work and how she wants to be friends with him because he seems mysterious, intelligent and well-spoken. she would also make me feel very guilty, assuming i want to control what she does and control what i want her to do. she gets criticized a lot by people and she feels that she does. i trust that she won't ever cheat on me and will never let anything happen, it's just i still haven't gotten used to her personality. i was upset by the way she immediately invited the guy she met for a cup of coffee. it was jealousy at first but it still bothered me somehow. i suppose it was the way she put it, it felt like she was out looking for someone better than me. i talked about this with her and she understands how i feel. and she apologized for accusing me of trying to control her. i would let her do anything to make her happy. i would never tell her not to do something. but i would tell her if something made me uncomfortable. it's just me. i have never been with someone who is as open or flirty as she is. i love her and i really want to 'fight' for her. i'll do anything and i want us to get to that point in our relationship where we both feel comfortable about each other. i'm willing to go through anything and will do anything.. i'm just a little scared.. thank you