we have a abused friend. PLEASE HELP???

[friendinneed]

my mom already noes cuz she saw the bruises, so she would tell me to tell someone, but its hard to no who to tell

[stella74]

What did your mom say and do when she saw the bruises? Did your mother realize the bruises were from your friend's father abusing her?

[friendinneed]

well i said when i figured out "my friends friends dad abuses her" and then we had a track meet and the uniforms are no sleeved, and my mom was helping out there, and she had soooooo many bruises...

[stella74]

It's still not clear to me what your mother said or did after she saw the bruises. Did you talk about it after the track meet?

[friendinneed]

yea, and i wouldnt tell her anything so she said "i no somethings going on about that, and i want u to no that u should tell somebody, u could save her life..."

[stella74]

She's leaving it up to you to tell. She knows you'll do the right thing and she supports you, but she doesn't want to get involved herself. So I would say you don't need to talk to your mother first, unless you want to tell her.

 

You said you don't really trust the counselor. Why is that?

 

If you tell a teacher, the teacher will tell the counselor or some other social worker on staff. Then the school would talk to your friend and might talk to the family. They would then contact child protective services if they found enough evidence of abuse. By law, school employees have to report suspected cases of child abuse.

 

Or you or a parent can call child protective services on your own.

[stella74]

Actually, I just re-read what your mom said:

"i want u to no that u should tell somebody, u could save her life..."

 

Maybe she meant she wanted you to tell her. It's hard to tell.

[friendinneed]

i dont trust the counseler because we think she would FREAK out and we would have all these meading and the whole school whould have to go to them and they would talk about it and bring in speakers and a whole bunch of other stuff and the whole school would find out who was abused and things would just be bad also the counsle is weird and i dont would completle understand the situation

 

 

 

oh and i'll proble tell my mom the whole story

[stella74]

I'm sorry, but I actually laughed out loud when I read what you wrote because I know there is a possibility that might happen.

 

How about if you call child protective services tomorrow and explain the situation? You don't have to give your name and you can ask for advice.

 

It sounds like it's a good idea to tell your mom. You can tell her after you call child protective services or you can talk to her first.

 

The most important thing is tell someone. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[Stars_n_Guitars]

i dont trust the counseler because we think she would FREAK out and we would have all these meading and the whole school whould have to go to them and they would talk about it and bring in speakers and a whole bunch of other stuff and the whole school would find out who was abused and things would just be bad also the counsle is weird and i dont would completle understand the situation

 

 

 

oh and i'll proble tell my mom the whole story

 

So what if there's stuff like that. What if there is someone else in the school that is going through the same thing and is scared to talk about it too? that would give them the opportunity to come forward!

[Stars_n_Guitars]

omg, thats serious. thanks 4 telling me, how long were you mad at her?

 

me? not very long. Someone else may be mad longer than I was. I just looked at it from her eyes. She cared about me enough to tell someone that I may kill myself, I saw that it would hurt her. I wasn't mad for more than a day. I worked with the girl too. She was my best friend.

[friendinneed]

ok i hope that she will understand the same way. we tried calling child sevises but i didnt go through

[friendinneed]

u guys have been great . any more advice ?

[stella74]

Child protective services may only take calls during week days, so try again on Monday.

[friendinneed]

ok thank you guys so much.

[stella74]

Were you able to get a hold of them? Or did you talk to your mom? I hope things went okay.

[friendinneed]

we weren't together today so we didn't call today. were gonna call tomorrow.

[stella74]

If you read this, let us know how it goes!

[friendinneed]

We all talked to our counciler.

[saint132]

Child Abuse just piss"es me off if I were you Id just give her dad "that basterd" a warning "HURT HER AGAIN I"ll MAKE SURE THE HOSPITAL WANT FIX YOU!" and Im serious, personal I would never forgive someone like that.

but hey you should tell her that you love her and you"ll always be there no matter what! but please if this continous, stop her father before it becomes too †late†....

even if it means killing him.

[friendinneed]

We talked to our counciler. She was called down to the office after that and refused to admit anything...same with her dad. What should we do? She got pulled out of school for an hour by her parents and got in trouble for us doing the right thing. Help......

[Seraphim]

I think social services would have been a better idea, they have to make an actual investigation.

[healthseeker]

I agree...get it to child services...they will investigate. You have to understand she is AFRAID to admit to it and you are doing the right thing. Has she told you anything since this happened?

[Seraphim]

Yes of course she is terrified and so is the father cause his nasty ass is gonna be found out. He should be taken out .................I can not say all I want to on here, but you get the idea. Call social services.

[friendinneed]

were just kids. and our counciler told us that if it isnt that bad..social services wont really do anything to help us. they might just ignore the case all together. this is alot drama for us to handle and we dont know if we can do it anymore. her parents told her not to talk to one of us because we told. Her mom knows now but wont do anything to help. ?????