rushed2006 Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 I posted my picture on Yahoo Answers a week ago, asking if I was attractive, and the general answer given by everyone (26 answers) was that I'm ugly. This has really made me depressed; I've been sleeping a lot the past week, and I don't even feel like getting out of bed. I'm having a hard time even finding a reason to live. I've never had a girlfriend, not even kissed a girl, and I'm starting to wonder if this is why. Every girl I've asked out has rejected me. I've always wanted to get married and start a family, but how can you do that when you're unattractive to the opposite sex? I could always lower my standards, but how could I be happy with someone who I'm not attracted to at all (and I don't go for supermodels, either, I'm mostly attracted to average looks.) My biggest dream is becoming a father, and that dream seems completely unattainable to me. I'm also questioning my faith (I was raised a Christian), and wondering why God would make me so ugly, what I did to deserve this. I don't have a lot of friends, and I'm at a place in my life right now where I don't have a lot of contact with the ones I do have, so I have no one to talk to about this. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope, and I couldn't possibly get more depressed than I am right now. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 so you base your self worth on sarcastic responses from strangers? On yahoo answers the community is basically anonymous. Even moreso than ENA. At least on ENA people kind of "know" each other and as such wouldn't post ugly responses (most wouldn't) to someone posting a pic. On Yahoo answers it is a very comfortable anonymous venue and most will just whip out something ugly because they think they can. Don't base your thoughts on your appearance on such a shady venue. Attractiveness is subjective and no doubt there are people who WONT think you are ugly. Link to comment
Caterina Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 Its just a picture... alot of what makes a person attractive is the way they carry themselves, their body language...looks are only a small fraction of it, especially when it comes to women. Link to comment
Infin1ty Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 Its just a picture... alot of what makes a person attractive is the way they carry themselves, their body language...looks are only a small fraction of it, especially when it comes to women. Completely agree. If you view yourself as unattractive, other will view you the same. You can't change what you look like, well technically you with plastic surgery, but that is not a route I would recommend. You need to focus on finding ways to boost your confidence, when you look at yourself in the mirror, tell yourself that you are attractive. As weird as that sounds, the longer you do it, the more you will make yourself believe it. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 yeah what they say above is true. Photos are one dimensional. All of us don't take good pics. I know that i look better in real life than a photo. Some people are not very photogenic. I also know average to less than average looking people that somehow take GREAT pics. Certain people's features either are flattered in the dimensions of a photograph, or detracted from. YOu can't fully tell what a person looks like until meeting them. It is very disconcerting that you would be so depressed just because of what some strangers say about a PHOTO of you! Link to comment
greensleeves Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 so you base your self worth on sarcastic responses from strangers? On yahoo answers the community is basically anonymous. Even moreso than ENA. At least on ENA people kind of "know" each other and as such wouldn't post ugly responses (most wouldn't) to someone posting a pic. On Yahoo answers it is a very comfortable anonymous venue and most will just whip out something ugly because they think they can. Don't base your thoughts on your appearance on such a shady venue. Attractiveness is subjective and no doubt there are people who WONT think you are ugly. JS is right. Did you feel unattractive prior to posting this? Probably not. For all you know the 26 answers could have been posted by one nasty person. It isn't credible at all. I've had yahoo answers come up when I've googled for info on different things and the information given has often been totally off base. Don't allow your self esteem to be jeapordized by such garbage....you can have everything you want in life. And remember that different people find different qualities and physical features attractive. Link to comment
Scorpio8647 Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 I really wouldn't trust people for opinions on Yahoo Answers anyway or the internet for that matter. Plus it's just one picture. Maybe the pic is not a good one, maybe you're not photogenic... Don't let that one picture gets you down. Plus a lot of times you can find some very mean people on yahoo answers anyway.. Some reply with remarks that are untrue just to be funny or mean. Link to comment
Gracelove Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 It's okay, don't worry. Your success doesn't depend on your looks. There are soooo many successful, happy people who are "unattractive" by general consensus (in this case "yahoo answers"). It's really hard not to obsess over looks, and I have no idea why. But the truth is, that our looks don't determine our value as human beings. Besides, as long as you can look in the mirror everyday, and appreciate who you see, that's all that matters. I think that you'll be a much happier, healthier person, if you forget about looks altogether (for the most part). Maybe you should go online, and find a celebrity you find to be very unattractive. Find a picture of them smiling, happy. And then tell yourself, "If they have the right to be happy, then why don't I". Link to comment
capbit Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 Why let anonymous strangers on the internet judge you? Chances are they are no better looking than you and just wanted to put you down for their own self gratification. Besides, looks fade. Develop a solid personality and you're good to go. Link to comment
TheSmilingTurnip Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 My ex boyfriend thought he was a troll. I thought he was hotter than hot. Some people don't think I'm that great, but my boyfriend disagrees. The thing you have to remember is that you don't need 26 people to think you're good looking. You just need one. And there is someone out there for everyone. I firmly believe that. As others have said, people on the internet say some crazy stuff, just because they CAN and they can get away with it. Yahoo Answers is hardly a substantive venue for ANY kind of answer really. Have you read some of the answers people give on there? More often than not, they apparently don't know s**t about s**t. Is there someone actually in your life that you can talk to about this? You need face time with someone who cares about you. Not the internet. The internet does not care about you. We cannot see your worth through a bulletin board. The person who will let you father her children is one who will see your worth. Link to comment
tina-rocks Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 Hi, Just read your story. Looks are in the eyes of the beholder. If you are confident within yourself it will show. Take no notice of what strangers say as there perception of looks may be blocked by their need to wear glasses. Honestly you are not ugly. No one is. Tina x Link to comment
Caterina Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 My ex boyfriend thought he was a troll. I thought he was hotter than hot. Some people don't think I'm that great, but my boyfriend disagrees. The thing you have to remember is that you don't need 26 people to think you're good looking. You just need one. Thats really great, I love this. Link to comment
amipushy Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 ^^ I agree. and besides a pic doesnt capture your warmth,good heart, sense of humour, charisma etc or say anything about your strength of character or a charming personailty. And I also agree with the poster who send the people who comment are probably ugly themselves and trying to boost their ego at your expense. Link to comment
WindowTo Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 Blah blah blah, all that philosophical nonsense aside. Looks are not as important to females as they are to males. You are using your own judgement and feelings on looks (as a male) to expect how a woman would feel. Sure it matters to women and it can be a roadblock to initiating contact with them. But for a woman, personality can trump it all. A personality that represents power, influence, social intelligence, charm, kindness, authority many admirable traits. Don't use bad looks as a complete shutout crutch, yea it may be easy street for good looking guys, but obviously there are many ugly people who get what they want by chasing their purpose feeling true to themselves and accomplished and developing a personality that is attractive to woman. It may be hard for you because you don't get any free passes, but there would be if you could change how you feel about yourself. Link to comment
StrawberryYogurt Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 Listen, I'm gonna give it to you straight up. I don't know if you're ugly, but if you are, it's going to be very hard work even finding an average girl to date. That's just the way it is. You'll have to overcompensate via other means. When I was much younger, I was a dorky looking fella and hardly any girls liked me. Then, I got into my 20's, gained weight, ditched the glasses, got a new hairstyle, and became at least an ok looking guy and lots more girls liked me and I now have a smart, kind, beautiful G/F. Coincidence, I don't think so. If 26 people said you're ugly and not one said you were ok, it doesn't look good, no pun intended. But it's still not hopeless, you're gonna have to work so much harder than others though. Link to comment
TheSmilingTurnip Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 ^^^^ That's ok, most things worth having are not easily attained. Link to comment
schueysgirl Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 Ultimately, if you are not happy with yourself, then no-one else will be either. If you are not happy with yourself, then you will not be able to make anyone else happy. Life is not about looks. Everyone has different opinions. I dont have a huge amount of confidence in my looks, so I fake good. I smile and laugh and be friendly and have interesting things to say. I am passionate about my main hobby (motorsport, Michael Schumacher and MotoGP) so I have interesting and intelligent things to say. I am a friendly, warm person and I have a good sense of humour. My boyfriend thinks im incredibly hot. I think he is absolutely drop dead gorgeous. But he doesnt see why. You will be attractive to some people physically and not to some people. But the most important thing is to be happy within youself and feel good. Because when the time comes and you meet someone who does think you are OH MY GOD incredibly gorgeous, if your sad and down and out and always saying how ugly and horrible you feel you will push that person away anyway.... Link to comment
morgane Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 not really, i mean you can always wear a mask Link to comment
amipushy Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 not really, i mean you can always wear a mask Like your friendly supportive one? Link to comment
morgane Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 yes, i've been wearing this one for years, i got it from a dead teenager, you can see the side seam and some stitches if you look behind my ears ;D Link to comment
Caterina Posted August 10, 2008 Share Posted August 10, 2008 Its kind of true about perception, I went to a school where the majority of people in the area had fair hair/eyes, and I didn't. I wasn't considered attractive. But when I moved to a hispanic area, the people considered me attractive and made me feel good about myself. Link to comment
schueysgirl Posted August 10, 2008 Share Posted August 10, 2008 "yes, i've been wearing this one for years, i got it from a dead teenager, you can see the side seam and some stitches if you look behind my ears" Ewwww...thats a pretty creepy thing to say...... Link to comment
morgane Posted August 10, 2008 Share Posted August 10, 2008 "yes, i've been wearing this one for years, i got it from a dead teenager, you can see the side seam and some stitches if you look behind my ears" Ewwww...thats a pretty creepy thing to say...... i'm a creepy person Link to comment
schueysgirl Posted August 10, 2008 Share Posted August 10, 2008 Well if thats who you are! Creepy advice is good i guess if it is useful...but maybe suggesting someone to put a mask on? Im assuming this was just your sarcasm to the situation and to the OP Caterina - i agree, perception is everything, and like someone else said it only takes one person to find you attractive and your sorted, never mind what everyone else thinks... the majority of people who appear to be super confident and completely happy with themselves are usually faking good - putting on an air of confidence and forgetting about the things they dont like - at least this way they look confident, happy, and people would want to speak to them and get to know them - letting thier personality shine through... I know its tough when your shy and unconfident - ive been there myself. But sometimes you just have to bit your lip, take a deep breath and get out there - fake good and smile to get yourself noticed so you can show your killer personality Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 Don't let people on Yahoo Answers get to you. Have you ever seen The 40 Year Old Virgin? Seth Rogen has a great line "I'm ugly as ****, but I get with women!". You don't have to be blessed with good looks to get with women. One of my friends doesn't take a shower often and has dandruff, and he manages to hang out with and date really gorgeous girls. It's all about your attitude/personality man. Link to comment
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