Let the healing begin

[GoldenHillGuy]

This is my first post in the healing section. I had been recently trying to get my ex back. You can read the effort here.

 

 

 

I don't know how I feel at this moment. In some ways I am glad I did try to get her back. There would always be a question in my mind if I didn't. I only wish now that I had told her not to contact me unless she wanted to get back together right from the start. I'd probably be months ahead of where I am. I had for the most part healed to a large degree before my efforts of getting her back started. But with our recent meetings and getting handed the friend card, I'm set back from where I was. All I can say is, I'm really glad its over at this point. I know she's not a good woman. If you want to read the letter I wrote to her when we broke up 4 months ago, PM me and I'll send it. You'll get a good idea of what kind of woman she was. So......I am reading that letter sometimes 3 times a day to remind me of the horrible way she treated me. To sum it all up, I feel used a bit. Used in the sense that I may have just been an ego boost, place to live, someone to take care of her, fund her outings type of guy until she decided she could do better. Anyways, I have a bit of bitterness, but it will all pass with time. DAY 2 NC.

[chopperboy]

To sum it all up, I feel used a bit. Used in the sense that I may have just been an ego boost, place to live, someone to take care of her, fund her outings type of guy until she decided she could do better.

 

I've been there too - doing for my girl exactly what you did for yours. Yeah, I feel used in retrospect. Oh, and I also "got handed the friend card" in the end.

 

I guess all I'm saying is you're not alone.

[hisoldflame]

So......I am reading that letter sometimes 3 times a day to remind me of the horrible way she treated me. To sum it all up, I feel used a bit.

 

i think this is an important [and painful] step in getting through this stuff [note i say through and not over--maybe you do ultimately get over someone, but when you're with them a very long while, it's hard]. it helps validate some of the reasons why the split makes sense, whether you left or vice-versa.

 

it's hard to do especially when that person has a lot of good qualities you valued. it's hard to hold a mirror up to the situation. but it does help you see things clearly.

 

i've harbored lots of anger over the ex's financial drain on me and his unwillingness to take a 2nd job when the going got really rough. it's been hard to recover, financially. but now at least i feel more in control of my future. money's not the basis for a relationship, but you do need it to get along in life, and you have to be more or less on the same page about it.

 

i'm hoping at some point there's a way to remember the good and understand the bad with some type of balanced perspective. it comes in fits and starts, though.

[GoldenHillGuy]

Soneto da Separação

 

De repente do riso fez-se o pranto

Silêncioso e branco como a bruma

E das bocas unidas fez-se a espuma

E das mãos espalmadas fez-se o espanto

 

De repente da calma fez-se o vento

Que dos olhos desfez a última chama

E da paixão fez-se o pressentimento

E do momento imóvel fez-se o drama

 

De repente, não mais que de repente

Fez-se de triste o que se fez amante

E de sozinho o que se fez contente

 

Fez-se do amigo próximo o distante

Fez-se da vida uma aventura errante

De repente, não mais que de repente

 

 

Sonnet of Separation

 

Suddenly laughter was turned to sorrow

Silent and white like the mist

And mouths joined together were turned to foam

And hands drove away what once they welcomed.

 

Suddenly the calm was turned to wind

That blew out the last flame in the eyes

And passion was turned to foreboding

And the frozen moment was turned to drama.

 

Suddenly, no more than suddenly

The lover was transformed in sadness

And contentment into solitude.

 

The close friend became a distant one

Life became a wandering adventure

Suddenly, no more than suddenly

[Kahdeksan]

To sum it all up, I feel used a bit. Used in the sense that I may have just been an ego boost, place to live, someone to take care of her, fund her outings type of guy until she decided she could do better. Anyways, I have a bit of bitterness, but it will all pass with time. DAY 2 NC.

 

I'm so sorry to learn of your predicament... Truly I am, because those are what I feel she used me for as well... EXACTLY those!

[yankeefan74]

Sorry that things didn't progress the way you'd hoped. I happen to believe that not every couple that splits up belongs that way - there are relationships that actually DO need a little break, so that those involved can gain some perspective, rediscover lost feelings, etc.

 

But it seems as though you did what you could do, you gave it a shot, and that takes courage. Stay strong, and look confidently toward your future.