I've regained the power?

[thekid55]

Has anyone ever felt that way before? Your partner breaks up with you and you feel powerless. You leave them alone and they come back which gives you a sense of power.

 

Well, in my situation, I dated this girl for about 2 months before school ended. Things were fine heading into the summer, but some episodes with her crazy ex at home (she isn't interested in him) and her unwillingness to stop going to parties when she always left them upset pretty much ended things. She told me that I don't understand where she is coming from when she constantly leaves these parties at home, upset, flustered, or mad. I suggested to her that she not attend them as often and she viewed this as controlling. She goes with her girl friends to these parties and it always seems to be drama filled with her ex. Odd, I know. My view is that she is confused and I'm just removing myself from the situation to give myself clarity and for her to get straightened out. She was emotionally distraught after ending things with me.

 

So after the breakup, I just played it cool. I've let her come to me. No neediness. No clinging. We broke up roughly a month ago. She called me about 2 weeks ago and we talked for a few minutes before I ended it. She emailed me tonight saying "Heyy xxxx, how are you? I haven't heard from you in awhile...hope things are going well"...I haven't initiated contact in over a month and I've only heard from her twice. I really don't think there is anyone else in the picture. I do know that she still goes to these parties, but it is only maybe once or twice a week since she is working now.

 

I haven't responded to the email, but I do feel a sense of power. I know that this contact doesn't mean she wants to get back together, but what do you view this as?

[bmwm3]

Good to her buddy... know she is gonna chase you... dont call her.. but when she calls you talk to her.. but dont always be avaliable... and if she goes on about neg stuff like she used to cut it short....

 

youre right on track for her to be waiting for you back at school... know the question is that are you gonna want her.. or go chase after some new hotties...

 

 

about the e-mail... maybe in a few days.. write back just a few simplie lines... like hey how is it going hope your summer is going good...

[thejigsup]

Don't play games with anyone you love. If you see it as power, it is not a true relationship but an empty competition.

[thekid55]

I can't say that I truly love her though. People have different time tables on love. Personally, I can't love someone after only being with them for 2 months. But when you break up, all bets are off. They left for a reason and they must win back into YOUR heart. Of course I care about her, but I'm not going to be a doormat/pushover.

[thekid55]

Well, I responded to the email with a few short lines.

 

I went to the Home run derby and as soon as I got there, she started to text me, asking about how I was and things of that nature. We texted for like 30 minutes. This was on Monday.

 

Then yesterday, I was on the phone with my friend and texted me about her summer class and then called me 5 minutes later. I eventually called her back and we talked for about 15 minutes. She flirted with me, took interest in what I had to say, even busted a few jokes at me. Obviously, she wasn't serious, but it reminded me of what she used to be.

 

I didn't hear from her today, but what do you think?