I dont know what to do

[kungmaster]

Ok i am 16 years old and my parents are well off so i drive a nice car and i dress nice. This leads to people thinking im rich which is not true. So i met this girl at work that i really like, shes 17 almost 18 and ive known her for 5 months now. It started off slow but then we started talking all the time she calls me all the time or text messages me. So little by little it works up and i ask her out. She is really happy about it and things are looking good. However, she is the flirty type and has a lot of guy friends. One of them in particular calls her all the time and they seem to be very close. I dont mind the fact that she has lots of guy friends or that she talks to guys but i kinda feel like shes not really into the relationship and shes just after my chedda($$$). But like i said we've known each other for a long time and just started going out..and she is a really sweet girl but things just seem awkward. Am i too cautious? Or do i need to wake up and smell the coffee? I dont know exactly what to make of it so i need some more thoughts.

[tough_girl]

Well, I think you should look out for more signs and the signals she sends to you. Does she tend to spend a lot when she's with you? Or does money matters a lot to her?

 

I guess you'll have to do a little more observing before making your choice and decision.

[kuhl282000]

Hey Dude

 

All the ladies are different. But one lady I used to date, loved to travel all over the world. And the man of the month was who ever was willing to pay the freight. If you know what I mean. She was a hottie, and alot of fun. But if you wanted to be with her, we'll your wallet really took a hit.

Some ladies are not into the money thing at all, others are.

 

 

Kuhl

[kungmaster]

well like i told her that i got a pretty hefty pay check this week and that i was gonna go cash it in tomorrow and she said that she wanted me to take her to a really nice restuarant like to spend on her...i always pay for girls when i take them out to eat but i mean i dunno i just have a sort of a feeling about it..what other things should i watch out for?

[S4il]

well first welcome to eNotalone:

 

About this girl, you seem to think she is all about your status, and your Money....well I'm not going to B.S. you here, some girls are all about how much money a guy makes, or how nice of a car he drives. But in reality that changes over time, your still young and so is she...those material things are important to ones personal ego, especially in your age bracket. and lets not forget in high school, lets say you drive a 35,000 car, Compared to most teenagers first car sometimes valued more like 5,000-7,000... i think your going to stand out a little more...correct?

 

Ok let analyze this shall we

 

has she done anything that would lead you to believe she is all about the money, does she sometimes bring up you paying for things while your together all the time, do you hang out quite often>>? i need more details to really make a educated guess, I'm taking a Wild Shot for a small target in the dark here... I need more input, Sometimes those are crucial.

[S4il]

i noticed you said this

 

she wanted me to take her to a really nice restaurant like to spend *money* on her...i always pay for girls when i take them out to eat but i mean i dunno i just have a sort of a feeling about it.

 

Now normally i would say Drop the date, because your having doubts already about taking her out, your trusting your gut feeling, really it's not your gut your trusting, it's your higher, more Acute chemical sensory.

 

everyone of use have this altered mind when we come about situations we often seem to think are unsafe or unsure about, If she is giving you Sweet, Kiss your you know what attitude when she is around you, i would be cautious,

 

I would NOW set your boundaries if you don't already have some established with her, and let her know your not a walking bag of money, get that feeling accross, and Impel it hard, even if you seem rude about it, she will know what she was doing was wrong.. If she gives you that feeling of course.

 

you have to stand your ground her my friend, your not a doormat, and if you are willing to do everything for her, and go to extreme measures just for her, than don't let her know that, can't be a Sugar daddy to every girl you meet, or they will take advantage of that..and use you to the fullest, sometimes even use sex to get what they want from you...Not a good thing in the long run.

 

if i were you i would just hit up a TGI Fridays...

[kungmaster]

well i do stand out a lot and i do understand that some relationships start off with material needs. She didnt really talk to me much when we first met but when we went out i bought her lunch and a shirt at the mall and after that pretty much more attention...she has mentioned many times that i dont have to pay for her but words can be deceiving. And she spends a lot of time with her other friends and she also has a friend visiting from out of state so its like right now she dont got enough time for me but when i told her about my paycheck she lit up. Soooo i dont know cant really explain but that feeling is there and i dont know how to get over it.

[tough_girl]

but when i told her about my paycheck she lit up

 

I guess that says it all. She's probably after your money. I know that you do love her a lot but you'll eventually get over it. Don't worry.

[New Found Glory]

everyone here is giving very valid advice, but i think that some of us are missing one of the ost important facts, u guys are 16 & 17. and i too was fairly well off when i was 17 (2 yrs ago) and my gf at the time seemed to really enjoy spending my money, i thought about that same stuff you are thinkin about, but what you hafta do is look at WHAT the money is being spent on, dinner at a nice restaraunt? that doesnt sound like she is after your money, she sounds exactly like my old gf who just loved to get dressed up and go nice places not because they were expensive but because they were special, and because they were not ordinairy, so stuff like a nice restaraunt or anything really that is good for the both of you, may not mean that she is after your money, what you need to watch is your daily spending on her, a nice dinner here and there is nothing, watch out for the CD's and the clothes and stuff like that, stuff that seems to benifit only her. Thats when u should start gettin suspisious.

[neallo82288]

I agree with New Found Glory. You, also, have to pay attention to how she behaves around you. Does she seem distracted or disinterested? What are your conversaations about? Are they about her and what she wants (mateerial objects) or aare they about your your status? Girls love to talk about themselves and their goals. Take her to a nice resturant and see what happens. Do not keep buying things that you do not feel comfortable in buying her. It is your money and spend it as you see fit.

 

Test her. Tell her your dad lost his job and now alot of your money will be going to keep the roof over your head and if she bolts then you know. But be careful because if she stays then you will have to tell her that everything is fine and deal with the test then.