I really need some advice..

[reneex061]

Sorry it's kinda long, please read the whole thing..

 

I have been dating my current boyfriend for almost a year and a half. If you meant him you would think that he is one of the nicest guys around, well I know his friends think that. But a lot of people don’t see this really dark side of him, and unlucky for me I see it a lot. When I do something that he doesn’t like, or I tell him my feelings, he gets really angry and flips out on me. He gets angry really easier and it’s hard to deal with. But the thing is whenever he gets angry he screams at me, and calls me names. He has called me every name you can think of, and he has told me to f*** off and said f*** you multi times. One time in his car he was screaming at me once we pulled into my drive way and he was scaring me, his eye balls were like popping out because he was so mad. And things that I do aren’t even bad. OH and he always tells me to shut up all the time like it’s part of our conversation. I never do anything bad to him, like I NEVER call him names, I never tell him to shut up and I def NEVER told him to f*** off or anything. I’m honestly not a rude person at all, especially to deserve this. The thing about all of this is, he calls me all of these name and later on like the next day when he’s not mad he tells me he doesn’t mean it. Like he tells me I’m a f***ing bi*** all the time but I’ve asked him if he really thinks that and he says no. That’s another name he calls me about everything single time he gets mad. He gets mad about the littlest things and takes it all out on me. After things like this happen, he acts like nothing has happened the next day. I’ve done him enough times that what he does is verbal abuse and that he needs to stop. Today he said f*** you and he said that if I would have left him alone I wouldn’t have heard it. I told him I should never hear that ever. He just doesn’t seem to even try to stop. He’s broke up with me at least two times when he was mad, and later on takes it back. After all of the stuff he has done to me I have never left him.

 

Today when he got mad at me he told me that he says stuff like this to me because he doesn’t want to be with me. And I told him that if he didn’t want to he should have just told me, not keep hurting me more and more. I don’t think he meant that though because he says a lot of things he doesn’t mean. I asked him he is still my boyfriend and he said “If you would leave me alone you’ll get your f***ing answer.” He is always rude like that but I am never rude at all so I don’t understand. Today I finally told him that he needs help and he refused to accept that. Well I think he knows he does but he told me he has tried it before but it didn’t work. I said to him “Even if I asked you to get help you wouldn’t?”, and he wouldn’t really answer me. I told him that he has serious angry problems and he pretty much said he isn’t going to do anything about it. Also anytime he gets mad he blames it on me and says “Well if you didn’t do ____then I wouldn’t have to call you names” ..or something like that. So it’s like it’s always my fault and it’s like I deserve it.

 

Now my problem is, I don’t even know if were still together. So I was wondering if he wants me back should I give in or just give up? Honestly I’m pretty much broken in the inside badly, and I don’t know what to do. I love him so much and I really don’t want to be without him. I was thinking about telling him that if he does this again, with the name calling and stuff then I am done. I have never told him I was done before so I don’t know if I could actually go through with that. I just want him to stop but I don’t know what it will take him to stop. I think I might tell him that if he cares about me as much as he tells me he does, then he will get help or he will lose me. While we were in the car I told him that he is going to push away everything he loves if he keeps acting this way. And he will lose me if he doesn’t change or stop hurting me like this. It’s almost too much to bare. Half the time I don’t even want to live because his words hurt so much and it’s like I can’t leave.

 

Any advice on how I can get him to change? I was thinking if I ask him about getting help when he’s not mad then maybe he’ll go for it but I don’t know.

[blueeyedme]

Don't walk, RUN away as fast as you can. You and anyone else in your situation deserves so much better. He has no respect for you and you will never change him so don't waste another moment on this person.

[southerngirl]

You need to end this relationship. You deserve so much more than this. no one deserves to be abused in this way.

 

He is tearing you up inside and turning you into a doormat. He is little by little ripping away at your self esteem. You need to end it, no matter how hard that might be.

[Delonte4prez]

There is no reason you should stay with this scum bag.

 

Here's a way I think might persuade you to leave this situation:

Clear your head for a minute and read what you just posted.

Imagine your closest friend wrote that, what would you tell her to do?

 

It's obvious there is some issues with this guy, and from what your giving us you should definitely look elsewhere. I'm sure you'll have no trouble meeting a nice guy.

[Sparkle]

Reneex

 

Have you ever turned around to him when he starts a rant and said 'dont you dare f...ing talk to me like that'!!!

 

I dont often agree with fighting fire with fire, and yes, I do agree that you should run run fast away from this guy, but please tell me that you dont just sit and take this stuff??

 

We show people what we accept. You are showing him that you tolerate him talking to you like that, and he will never change while you do, why would he? He gets to rant and rave and call you names, then says oh sorry i didnt mean it, and then gets to do it all over again!!!

 

Get away from him, but recognise, that you deserve better and do not allow ANYONE to treat you this way.

[h0pelessr0mantic]

My boyfriend also constantly puts me down and calls me names. If i do something wrong he completely flips out on me. Its like he truly wants to make me feel so low that i cry. And if i do end up crying he doesn't care and just tells me to stop being such a drama queen a wipe off my crocodile tears. I have been with my boyfriend for three and a half years, and the name calling and flipping out has gotten even worse. Now alot of people may be wondering why u even love this guy. I'm guessing that when ur perfect, when u do everything right to his standards, he treats u very well (at least thats how my boyfriend is). And he says all the nicest things in the world to u about how much u mean to him, how he has never met anyone like u, and how he's so sorry that he overreacted and will try to keep his emotions in check. Then two seconds later he will be back to yelling his head off. The problems is, i'm guessing, that when ur weighing the should i stay or should i go scale, that u think more about the lavish nice things he says. Honestly, i wish i had the guts to leave my boyfruiend a looongg time ago. U should definitely leave ur boyfriend, because he really does seem to have some deep rooted anger issues. If u stay u will only keep getting hurt and it will keep getting worse, and the longer u stay, the harder it will be to leave.

[Jelina]

You should stay away from this guy. You really can't allow him to disrespect you like that. You deserve someone way better. He doesn't love you at all, his actions prove it. Don't believe anything he says. Avoid any contact with him and when you start to miss him remember how he really treated you!