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me and my x are now best friends what do i do? Help


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Well ive posted here before me and my ex girlfriend have been through a lot together over the years are realtionship was good but things started to get bad and we stated to fight all the time over little things but they became big fights. After we broke up we kept talking an i tried to get her back but she didnt want to come back. So she finally started to go out with this one guy and then i didnt talk to her as much but we still kept in contact over the next 2 years and talked on messenger and on the phone and i saw her like mabie 2 or 3 times in person. When we talked one time she even told me she would have stayed with me forever. Well now we come to december of 2003 her and her boyfriend that she was engaged to broke up he cheated on her and hurt her. She moved back around here again and we stated to hang out and she liked this one guy a lot who we went and seen i even went with her a few times and then he ended up being a jerk and now shes all depressed about it and everything all the time. She said he was perfect and really liked him and that are no good guys left or anything. Over the past few weeks we have been hanging out a lot and talking on the phone everyday. Ive been talking to her and helping her get through and get over her ex and now trying to help her feel better about this other guy that was screwing her over and shes always talking about hot guys and things like that and when we first stated hangin out again she told me i wasent her type of guy anymore and she woundlnt give me a second chance now after weve been through all this and ive been helping her shes told me that i am her best good friend and things are just strange after all this time i still love her very very much and still want to be with her really bad and it hurts when shes talks about other guys and stuff but im dealing with because i still love her do think my chances are getting better of possibly ever getting back with her or do you think im gonna remain her good best friend i wanna be more then just her friend or her best friend. Any advice or help would be appreciated. Thanks!

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It's seems she is no longer treating you like a guy. It's more like you are in the realm of being treated as one of her girlfriends. If you want to be something other than a friend, you need to change this ASAP. You seem to have done anythign you could to be closer to her, thinking that will help you in the long run, and in doing so, you lost the animal guy within you that she needs to see in order to consider you bf material. How to stop what is happening and get you back on the right road requires a lot of work, mostly it requires you acting with some confidence that she will come to you seeking a bf when she sees who is good for her.

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I say be honest with her and tell her you still love her (if you still do). Tell her with the deepest honesty. Define the parameters of any relationship that might occur so that the same problems to re-occur as before. Give yourselves space within the relationship.

 

I'm going through this with my ex-boyfriend. He broke up with me about 4 months ago after a 3 year common law relationship (we were together for a total of 5 years). I just started seeing another guy a few weeks ago. I tried to tell myself I was over my ex but I think I'm not. I loved him deeply and intensely. I loved him in a way that I loved no other. I believe I still do no matter what I tell anyone. I like the new guy a lot but I do not love him. I love my ex.

 

He was my best friend and I loved him more than anything in the world -- I'd take the hurt I feel a thousandfold and a bullet for him. But he got restless in the relationship and felt too closed in and had to end it.

 

I told him about the new guy last night and he cried and I felt his hurt because I still love him. It's possible that I may be with the new guy (partly) because I feel the hurt so deeply like no other hurt I've felt before and I need to take away the sting. I believe I'm doing this but I can't help it -- nothing else is taking away that intense hurt I feel.

 

I would not take him back because he's already left once and it will likely not be the same -- he's already broken that trust of being there forever. I'm confused too because I love him still. I want to be his friend but I love him too much and it hurts so bad for both of us. Perhaps we cannot be just friends because we, too, went through a lot. I just spent the morning crying my eyes out because of the hurt he feels and because I still care.

 

I say tell her. Live for today and tell her. Tell her you love her and tell her with complete and sincere honesty from the bottom of your heart. You don't know what may be tomorrow but live for today and tell her today.

 

I don't know if it will make a difference, though, but at least you will have no regrets about missing out on telling her and knowing with certainty where you stand. Regret is the worst possible thing to live with.

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well thinkbout this is it nice ot tlakto her and be with her yes well cherish wut u have dont be greedy be happy ur friends with her just be friends with her and keep on tlakin to her and maybe one day she will realize she messed up and she wants u cuz she will see ur a "sweet" guy so anyway good luck aight cya 8)

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in my opinon you have no entered the Gay friend phase of the relationship (not that there anything wrong with being gay) but the point is she sees obsulutly no interest in you in the sexuall way. I know its tough to be in love with someone and want them so bad and all they see in you is a really good friend. Basically what u should do is just accept the fact that you to will never get back together again.

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