synapse Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Not sure if this is being posted in the right place. I thought maybe in gay/lesbian, but this is more of a relationship conflict in general... So, the background (briefly). There is a woman in my life right now who is so amazing and wonderful... But, she is involved with another woman. Things have progressed for a while now and it is clear we both have feelings for one another, but she is still with her girlfriend. They are however probably headed for an end as there are things going on (even before I was in the picture) between them. I feel I should play it cool, but the more we get to know one another, the more her girlfriend is catching on... and well, the more my feelings for her grow along with the potential to get myself hurt. I just want it to work out for the best but I don't want to be someone she just moves on to b/c her current relationship is nearing it's end... Any thoughts? Should I back off now or? I care about her already as she is beautiful on so many levels... Oh and I am a guy just in case you were wondering... that might give you a different perspective on things though I am sure I am not the first guy this has ever happened to... Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Doesn't matter what your gender is...my advice would be the same...back off and find out if she really does intend to end her current relationship or she just wants a bit on the side. A classic line of cheaters is that they are planning on ending their current relationship. Until she actually ends it she is still taken and you should keep away. Link to comment
unabashed Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Since you're asking...I do think that she should end her relationship with her girlfriend before you and she become more involved. When you said that her present girlfriend is "catching on," I had the impression of someone who is being lead on and lied to about her partner's commitment, while her partner (her girlfriend) cheats on her. It may be physical or emotional cheating, but if she states that she is leaving her girlfriend for you, she is cheating. As amazing and wonderful as she is, do you feel OK about being involved with someone who would cheat on their partner and lie to them? If there are things going on between the two of them, they should decide if they want to try to handle them or part ways. Until that relationship is resolved, one way or another, you and she will never truly be able to be together. Even if she isn't stringing you along, she is someone who has difficultly confronting and dealing with communication issues in a relationship. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 don't help someone cheat. it's not a good look. i DO believe in karma. if she is leaving the gf, wait until then. and then decide if she is ready to date and if you are ready to be with someone who just got out of a relationship. Link to comment
JB07 Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Heres the thing about Lesbians ( as I am one) or just many girls in general. We don't know what we want! I cant sit here and say that all will be peachy and you two will have this great life together after they break up, ( if they even do, becuase girls are horrible at breaking up with other girls). But heres the thing, the girl is obviously Bi-sexual, your already putting yourself into a mix of trouble. Cause if shes cheating now, then what is going to stop her from cheating again? Bi girls tend to get bored, and have a hard time figuring out which way to go becuase they like both. SO, is that something you are ready to be commited to? Do you want to date a girl that wants to sleep with other girls sometimes? I mean yeah thats hot, but it never works out for the better! Your leading yourself into a heartbreak I can tell you that now. I would let this girl do her business and then let her see which way she wants to go. I know its hard jsut to turn away cause your already emotionally connected to her and it sucks! But good luck, Im jsut trying to look out for your heart!! Take care!! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 i'm around lesbians all the time. the ones i know KNOW what they want. so i don't think you can generalize them even if you are one. but the rest of what you say i agree with. Link to comment
JB07 Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I said many girls dont know what they want..... Dont put words in my mouth and I mean emotioanlly, I mean everyone has an idea which is all good and dandy, but when real life situations happen girls do not know what they want! And men dont either! Link to comment
synapse Posted June 30, 2008 Author Share Posted June 30, 2008 Thank you all for your input. We are set to have a long conversation to sort things out in the next few days. I am staying positive but cautious. -synapse Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.