A long time since...

[anon_a_mouse]

How do you cope having been single for a long long period of time? I mean years...That's the situation Im in - just wondering if anyone else can share similar experiences....

[JeckyllNHyde]

have you been on any dates in between?

[arwen]

When I was single for a longer while (about a year and a half without any dates), I surely felt like it was a bad thing at times. I also enjoyed the freedom and the following thought made me really happy: any day, I could meet that special person, and I have no clue who or where I would meet him. I was healing from a bad relationship then and that thought made me realize that I was getting ready to really date again.

 

Did you recently come out of a relationship?

[Jayar]

Cope?! I enjoy it! I go out and do things I want to do, when I want to do them. I order garlic bread with my pizza, smother my pizza in onions, and dip the crust in garlic cream sauce. I can get away with shaving my legs infrequently at best (ain't that sexy, guys?!) and I don't have to factor "quality time entertaining a boyfriend" into my already busy work/school/ME schedule.

 

I LOVE being single. Sure, the odd time I meet a guy and think "yeah maybe" but then chances are he soon does or says something stupid and I am left thinking "okay, maybe NOT" then it's back to being with myself.

 

Keep in mind there's a big difference between being single and being alone. If you're feeling ALONE, get out and do things like join common interest clubs, speed date, or meet people online. But don't ever feel like your life is only worth what another person brings to it.

[jettison]

When I was single for a longer while (about a year and a half without any dates), I surely felt like it was a bad thing at times. I also enjoyed the freedom and the following thought made me really happy: any day, I could meet that special person, and I have no clue who or where I would meet him. I was healing from a bad relationship then and that thought made me realize that I was getting ready to really date again.

 

Did you recently come out of a relationship?

 

Very true. Ever heard the expression, "Only the lonely can play"? It's a truism. Think about all the relationship you hear described on ENA. The vast majority of them all go south in due time. And before they end, one of both partners are frustrated, bored, losing their minds, miserable. You hear it over and over and over again, and this is merely from the people who actually admit their real state of mind!

 

When you are single, you have possibilities. If someone says "hey, come along" then you can actually just come along. If someone says, "come out with us on Friday night" then you just do it. What else do you have to do? You just go. And in puting yourself out there, you end up having all these experiences that you would have otherwise missed. Lots of very close, co-dependent couples end up losing lots of their friends over time. When you're single you're presumbably attempting to build some kind of network.

 

It's a comforting feeling to be taken, to be wanted, to be desired, to always know that there is someone special thinking special thoughts about you. No one can deny that. But when you're single? Oh, the possibilities. You get to potentially make someone new smile. You get to make someone new have a great day. You get to experience the genuine laugh of someone new. You get to have a fight with and make up with someone new.

 

If you're human, and these dynamics don't excite or otherwise intrigue you then I'm thinking that you're either in complete denial, then you genuinely live in fear, or that you no longer have a pulse. I'd suggest buying yourself a heartrate monitor because it beats asking the people around you, "Am I still dead?"

 

 

And after allthat, please understand that I love being in a committed relationship. I truly do. It's a fantastic thing when it's done with the right person.

[NorthDallas40]

frustrated, bored, losing their minds, miserable. You hear it over and over and over again, and this is merely from the people who actually admit their real state of mind!

 

Not coincidentally, that describes a lot of the single people on ENA as well.

[jettison]

Not coincidentally, that describes a lot of the single people on ENA as well.

 

Not coincidentally, that describes a lot of people in general. Most people are predisposed to offer the world a certain level of misery. Of course, I make exceptions for anyone who is gone through something exceptionally traumatic.

[anon_a_mouse]

have you been on any dates in between?

 

Only recently, but yes.

[Bunney]

Completely agree with this.

 

I don't understand why you need to "cope" with being single. People are too busy trying hard to find a partner nowadays and put too much value on having a relationship. geez, enjoy the independence and freedom that comes with being single.

[anon_a_mouse]

When I was single for a longer while (about a year and a half without any dates), I surely felt like it was a bad thing at times. I also enjoyed the freedom and the following thought made me really happy: any day, I could meet that special person, and I have no clue who or where I would meet him. I was healing from a bad relationship then and that thought made me realize that I was getting ready to really date again.

 

Did you recently come out of a relationship?

 

Well, no - I've never actually been in a long term relationship (im talking

 

I like the answers so far - you can experience whatever you want and do whatever you choose when you're outside a relationship (not that I think being in a relationship - means the opposite of that)....

[arwen]

Have you ever met someone you wanted to be in a long term relationship with?

[anon_a_mouse]

Have you ever met someone you wanted to be in a long term relationship with?

 

Yes I have. One person really, and we started as friends, it progressed to more, and we both wanted a relationship - but things went wrong - and it never happened... Also I enjoy the company of others that I would consider being in a long term relationship with.