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Messed up situation with a very confused boy - HELP!


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I have a pretty messed up situation with my guy which has now been going on for almost 6mths.


I am meeting up with him to “talk” next week and I need some help and advice.


Just as a bit of a background. When we first started dating he was the one totally smitten with me. I loved the attention but he probably was more into it than me in the beginning. He’d email me every day at work, want to see me all the time.


After 2mths he started acting a bit funny. By then of course, I was totally into him. We had a talk and he admitted he was freaking out about falling into a r’ship again (he had ended a 6yr relationship 5months earlier) and wasn’t sure if he was ready. It wasn’t quite a breakup but I backed right off. 3 days later he started contacting me again and after a few weeks it was all back on again. Two months later the same thing happened. Since then we’ve pretty much had an MSN relationship, though we’ve twice seen each other and both times we’ve ended up spending the next few days together. The last time I saw him was last weekend and things with him felt really good…like there was a shift. All his friends love me and are continually asking what’s going on. I don’t think he ever gives them a straight answer.


So I’ve requested we meet up for a chat to clarify things. He seems to be quite scared about this encounter.


He is clearly still confused and I am actually expecting the worst from this talk. But I feel as though I need to give him an ultimatum – we’re either on or off. As harsh as that sounds.


I know I just can’t keep going on the way things are. When I am with him he treats me like a princess and I feel so comfortable and amazing around him. But soon as we part I go back confusion.


Can you guys give me some tips on how to handle our “chat”? I really don’t want to freak him out or make it a negative experience. What sort of things should I say?


Also, from my story, do you see any hope in him committing to me? I love his guts and hate the thought of letting him go, but I’m feeling like I might have to.


Any suggestions, comments …anything!!! Would be most welcome




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If he is showing some interest in getting some clarification out of this meeting, I think you should start by getting his side of the story. Ask him what he thinks of the two of you. Then indicate later that you clearly don't want to be hurt, so if he even has the slightest bit of doubt, you two should not get any more involved.


I think by that way its not making it negative, but just stating the obvious. You don't wanna get hurt. You feel deeply for him. And if he isn't ready to get back in another relationship then you are going to move on.

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