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she's gone for a month, i'm acting insecure


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hello everyone, and thanks in advance for the advice.


my gf and i have been dating for about 4 months, and it has been a great relationship. we communicate extremely well and there have been no large problems (until now).


she is overseas for one month (she'll be back in two weeks.) since she's been gone, i've been acting way too insecure. when she told me about her new male roommate, i acted weird and she called me out on it. she then told me i had nothing to worry about. so i was done worrying. when she told me about the guys she talks to when she's out, i acted weird and she called me out on it. she asked me if it made me nervous when she talked to guys over there and told me to i had nothing to worry about.


i know i have nothing to worry about. she is committed to this relationship and when i think rationally, i know i shouldn't be feeling this way. i just think about things too much and assume the worst.


today she suggested that we not talk tomorrow (we've been talking every day, but i have to call her and it's difficult to plan out times since i have a set work schedule and she's overseas doing all sorts of cool things) and i asked her if i had anything to worry about, even though i know i don't. we don't have to talk every day, and it's expensive.


i know i shouldn't be acting insecure about this stuff, but i am. i know it isn't attractive, but my mind gets going and then these words just come out of my mouth.


i know my behavior needs to change. my question for you is, should i tell her i know i've been acting like an idiot and apologize? i'd keep it light, along the lines of "wow, i realized last night after i got off the phone what an insecure thing that was to say. i realize i've been acting a little insecure lately, and that must be annoying to you." or should i just change my behavior? i don't want her feeling like i don't trust her, should i tell her that? thanks for any and all advice.


(i know full well that i am thinking about this WAAAAAY too much, i'm working on that.)

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welcome to enotalone. do you trust her? that's the most important thing. if you apologize, instead of saying, 'i know it's annoying to you,' i'd say, 'i'm sorry about what i said last week - i trust you and i'm sorry if i gave you the impression that i don't.'

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i trust her 100%. she is very outgoing and loves talking to people, and she should do just that while she's over there.


these feelings are stemming from my own insecurities which i thought i had overcome. all of a sudden, when she left they came out again and i didn't really recognize the problem until it was too late. now i'm trying to figure out how to make myself not seem like such a darn psycho.

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i'd just apologize and let it go. i'm sure even the most secure people might be a bit irked at our SO going out and having an opposite sex roomate and having fun traveling in a foreign country on vacation. but, if you trust her, then just trust that she won't run off with some other guy.

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