hamsalad Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I just took an internal inventory and realized that with my new job my ex will have no way whatsoever to get a hold of me ever again. It was the only way we communicated electronically, except for the phone. My cell phone has changed. One of my jobs has changed. (I'm always in the car at my other job at the Sheriff's Dept.) She doesn't know where I moved. She doesn't know where my friends live or their phone #'s. She wouldn't dare go near my parent's house knowing my mom and dad wouldn't appreciate her showing up. She can't get at me in any way I can see. I'm protected. I'm completely removed from any influence of her now. Disappeared from existence as far as she's concerned. Good. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I just took an internal inventory and realized that with my new job my ex will have no way whatsoever to get a hold of me ever again. It was the only way we communicated electronically, except for the phone. My cell phone has changed. One of my jobs has changed. (I'm always in the car at my other job at the Sheriff's Dept.) She doesn't know where I moved. She doesn't know where my friends live or their phone #'s. She wouldn't dare go near my parent's house knowing my mom and dad wouldn't appreciate her showing up. She can't get at me in any way I can see. I'm protected. I'm completely removed from any influence of her now. Disappeared from existence as far as she's concerned. Good. And are you feeling okay about this? Link to comment
hamsalad Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 And are you feeling okay about this? Yes, doing quite well with it now. I still have the thoughts careening around in my head, but I am glad to be removed from any influence. It's for my own protection. Link to comment
Clabs Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Hey Ham Nice one fella. It really is the way to go if you want to get through this AND come out sane - lol. Take care mate. Mark Link to comment
metrogirl Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Yes, doing quite well with it now. I still have the thoughts careening around in my head, but I am glad to be removed from any influence. It's for my own protection. Great. That is a positive step in the right direction. Hopefully your post will serve as a message that complete NC is possible. Good for you ham. Link to comment
PushingDaisies Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Hey thats great! I hope you start to feel better soon! Link to comment
hamsalad Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 Thanks for the kind words everyone. Yes, I've been strictly NC for about 3 weeks since the BU. %100. So, if she ever does try to email, it'll bounce back. If she tries to call, nothing. Link to comment
Maree79 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Wow Hamsalad, You are so darn strong! Link to comment
thejigsup Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I am glad you have taken these steps in the right direction. I should warn you that if someone wants to find you, they can. I know this one from experience. Link to comment
hamsalad Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 I am glad you have taken these steps in the right direction. I should warn you that if someone wants to find you, they can. I know this one from experience. I have not doubt of that, but I don't think the effort will be made. Plus, I have resources available that make it harder to be located. The steps were necessary for myself to be better and I did not do these things out of spite or hate. I don't want to waste energy on those emotions. To do so would make one callous and cold. I won't be those things! Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Very nice. So the only way you two will talk is if you call her......that won't happen will it?......I didn't think so. I envy you so much. Good luck with the rest of your life. Maybe those thoughts in your head will be replaced with some new thoughts of someone special some day soon. lost Link to comment
hamsalad Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 Very nice. So the only way you two will talk is if you call her......that won't happen will it?......I didn't think so. I envy you so much. Good luck with the rest of your life. Maybe those thoughts in your head will be replaced with some new thoughts of someone special some day soon. lost Thanks, very nice of you to say. It was not easy or immediate to get to this point. It took a mountain of pain and energy. And, true, I will not be calling. In fact, I don't remember her phone number anyhow. It was on speed dial. When someone purposefully deceives and destroys it is difficult, but essential, to write them out of your life. Life is too short to associate with people like that. Link to comment
Clabs Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 "When someone purposefully deceives and destroys it is difficult, but essential, to write them out of your life. Life is too short to associate with people like that." Ham - this is so true - who needs people like this around? Link to comment
hamsalad Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 "When someone purposefully deceives and destroys it is difficult, but essential, to write them out of your life. Life is too short to associate with people like that." Ham - this is so true - who needs people like this around? Yeah, I am glad you get me! I should have said: "When someone we loved and cared for purposefully deceives"... We must surround ourselves with high-quality people. Anything less has the potential to drag us down and will lower the quality of our lives. Link to comment
dream83 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Wow! You've come a long, long way since the breakup and it's only been a few weeks. Congrats on blocking your ex's negativity out of your life permanently and completely! As you said before, no one needs people like that in their life. I think it is very wise of you to recognize that, and very strong of you to be able to act on that belief. Link to comment
hamsalad Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 Wow! You've come a long, long way since the breakup and it's only been a few weeks. Congrats on blocking your ex's negativity out of your life permanently and completely! As you said before, no one needs people like that in their life. I think it is very wise of you to recognize that, and very strong of you to be able to act on that belief. I know, it's crazy, huh? I am a man of action so I had to do something. I won't sit and collapse. I was, of course, devastated by what happened and it rocked my world. After the initial shock wore off I just gathered what was left of my wits and forged ahead. I did not want to just sit and let life scream past me. No matter what, it still burns and there is an ache, but my desire to heal is stronger. Link to comment
Zeter Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Ham, Do you think age might have anything to do with such resolve? Zeter Link to comment
hamsalad Posted June 5, 2008 Author Share Posted June 5, 2008 Ham, Do you think age might have anything to do with such resolve? Zeter That's a very good question. Honestly, I am not entirely sure. I think it must have something to do with it, but it may also be experience mixed in with it. Chronological age means nothing if you haven't actually grown in the preceding years. So, I think it's a mix of different things that add up. Link to comment
musashi Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 That is the way to do it! Make them eat through concrete if they want you back. Anything less is nothing but a stumbling block to being the person you want to be. Keep up the good work. Link to comment
hamsalad Posted June 5, 2008 Author Share Posted June 5, 2008 That is the way to do it! Make them eat through concrete if they want you back. Anything less is nothing but a stumbling block to being the person you want to be. Keep up the good work. Well, concrete would certainly add to a balanced diet. "if they want you back" But why would they leave something GREAT in the first place? Does a great relationship just run out of road and then you're in the ditch? Well, I am a better driver than that! Well, I am done questioning it. It's done and I have to move on for my sanity's sake. Link to comment
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