Confused in a relationship

[Sterling_dawn]

My experiences in dating after my "real relationship" breakup have been full of ups and downs, as most people would know. After a 4 month relationship, of neither he nor I being completely happy with who each other is, we called it quits. In the past month or so, we have run into each other a few times at various locations and decided to try things on again. Things seemed to be going well, for the most part, but moving so incredibly fast again. Though we are only seeing each other in a casual way, it's almost as though we have picked up right where we left off, and the continueing arguments and hurt feelings have begun once again. In the beinging of "getting back together" things were fun and being almost childish, but things became intimate and now things are all confused again. I am doing the cute little things I did when we were together, but feel as though i am being suckered in again, while he goes off and galavants around. I know I ought to simply speak to him, but he becomes so possesive of me. He is quick to assume I am out with other men when I am at the library. I am not sure if he is still hurt from the orginal breakup? I can't tell if I love the person he is, or if he loves me. When we are together, and nothing is interrupting us, life is wonderful, but when work, family, friends and school begin to cloud the picture, everything backfires and the squabbling begins. I fear I am afraid to be alone. I can tell him anything, for the most part. I don't know if this is something I should continue with or just leave it in the past.....

[enadevoli]

it seems as though he has trust issues because of the way he assumes you are out with other men. trust is a big part of a relationship & if you don't have trust, it can cause a lot of problems. maybe he is still hurt by the first break up, but he needs to get over it because you are back together now & if that is the case then he needs to realize that he's only hurting the relationship by being upset about the past. you can't change the past, so there's no need in being upset about it. maybe you should try couples therapy or some thing to find out what the real problem is in your relationship. you said that the reason you broke up in the first place is because you both didn't like who each other was, so do you think he changed since then? maybe you both just got back together because you missed having some body around like him. or maybe you do like who he is now. but i suggest, if you think its worth it, to either talk to him about your relationship, or try counseling.

[kuhl282000]

hey girl

 

I think it is cool your trying to put it back together. I think that is like once in a lifetime stuff. Some people never get that second chance. From a man's perspective I just went through a real hard break-up (not of my choosing)...been staying busy with work and the holidays upon me. Like you said the hurtful things popping up again. I really understand what your going through. I really believe that for a man to be a little un-trusting in very normal (only about the other guy stuff) everyone says oh he has a trust issue. Trust is not that easy to give for some people. As far as being possessive, I know I have gotten like that. Only because I really want to be with that person and no one else. We the feeling are not the same I have at times felt slighted, only because I was putting my time aside, and the other party was not doing the same. I was at the local mall a few weeks ago, and I ran into a girl I dated years ago. She came up to me and said I was just praying i would have a way to get hold of you, I don't have your cell. We had a thing going back then, then the trust, then the hurt, like you said it was good when it was going good. Now she wants to do it again, she said she missed me. I have found I have not been able to get the old feelings back, I have tried. But they are just not there. So I say consider your self lucky, and do not get caught up in old traps. And ask yourself the (2) questions Do I really love and care for this guy?And is this guy someone I might want to send the rest of my life with ? The trust thing will come with the other guys in time. He will soon find your at the store and say, man this is someone i can really trust.Till he proves that to himself it can be hard. I just got burned on the trust issue myself again. She was seeing me and another guy at the same time. I had only been seeing her 7 months. She had a 11 year history with the other guy. Of course she was never seeing anyone else at the time. I even started to suspect her. I confronted her. She lied of course. Give it some time be open and honest, and do not hurt each other. Good Luck

 

Happy Holidays Peace & Love

 

Kuhl