onesadman87 Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 hello. im a male, 20. me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years now. and usualy when we get into arguments or fights it usualy just is ok. but today we got into a fight and it got a little overboard. it started when she was saying things i never hear her say, like the "f" word and other swears. now she never swears, she goes to church. i asked her why she was swearing and saying other things all of a sudden, then i asked where she was getting it from? after that it got a little insane. we started yelling out of no were. so i told her i didint want to fight and if this is how it was then she had to go. and she yelled in my face that she wasint going anywere. i got a little mad and just yelled get the "f" out. but thats not were it ended. she was going down the stairs and i went to stop her (to try to save it) but when i reached out i grabbed hair... i knew right away what i did, and i was coming out with sorry. when she was just like get your hands off me! i was like honey i never meant to. and bam! slammed the door. so now im pretty mad. so i went outside to see her. and i was like why did you just slam the door. and i went near her and she was screaming, get away, dont touch me. i didint know what to do. so i went near her to calm her down. thats when i bumped her right in the stomach. now no she aint pregnant or nothing. but she thought i punched her. i tried to but my arm around her. but now we are just really bad (mainly me) i told her if she wanted she could hit me back. now and then she does hit me during arugments. and i just let it slide. but she like unleashed on me. now i got a swollen eye. i mean its ok. i guess i was in the wrong. i could of handled it better... right? Link to comment
greywolf Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 This is a toxic relationship that needs to end. Honestly, I think it's more than coincidence that you happened to pull her hair and bump her stomach during the same argument. But no matter what happened, you can't stay in a relationship where someone abuses you. Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 yeah... as a man i listen to hear... say what i have to say... and if we cant stop arguing... i just wlak away.. before one of us does something stupid... and revist the problem when were calmed down.... just let her cool down and you too. and explain to her you didnt mean any of the bad things and youre sorry.. for grabbing her hair... and you guys are even for her beating you up... and next time you guys will just talk about it... Link to comment
lady00 Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 You both should never have put your hands on each other. I think you both need to get into some anger management/counseling and fast before something like this goes even further the next time. Link to comment
onesadman87 Posted May 23, 2008 Author Share Posted May 23, 2008 well i told her if thats how she thought it was, she could hit me back. and she did. im sad now. because of the fight and the rest of it. but she said she cant let me go. i cant let her go either but i dont was us to keeping hitting eachother. cause now my face hurts a lot Link to comment
lady00 Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 I don't think this is a situation you can handle on your own. You have both physically abused each other (your pulling her hair and her punching you) someone and my best advice is you probably need someone neutral to step in and help. Link to comment
greywolf Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 It has to end. She obviously doesn't respect you. Link to comment
onesadman87 Posted May 23, 2008 Author Share Posted May 23, 2008 i mean she use to before just whack me. then she starts to make fun of me. one time she brought up about my parents divorice. and that happened when i was 12 and she told me to get over it. but i mean she can really get me to blow my stack. i control myself but sometimes she goes very far. and i just lose it. and im not even that type of person. and now im the one who is depressed Link to comment
greywolf Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 Onesadman, I don't want to be harsh, but seriously... you can complain about her all you want, but it's not going to change the fact that this is a bad relationship. She makes fun of you, she doesn't respect your feelings, she hits you, and you aren't even happy in this relationship! I think you know what you need to do. Link to comment
knightNshiningarmor Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 you guys need to sit down and talk when your not angry and let her know that you hate the way things are in how the two of you settle arguments and if there is another way about it...if you dont then these trends will start to escalate. Link to comment
DN Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 You need to walk away from her. You were in the wrong tonight but she has no right to hit you or make fun of you in that mean way. Leave and find a better relationship. Link to comment
onesadman87 Posted May 23, 2008 Author Share Posted May 23, 2008 wolf, i just cant find a way to go. i love her and all. but i think im to blame to. i have been pent up a lot latley cause i cant leave the house cause i had surgery. but she was crying after she hit me. i dont know what that says. and ill be honest she is 17. 3 years younger than i. so i dont know. cause i think i did start the fight. but i never meant to. i was joking but she is not the joking type. ill tell ya that. Link to comment
lady00 Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 i mean she use to before just whack me. then she starts to make fun of me. one time she brought up about my parents divorice. and that happened when i was 12 and she told me to get over it. but i mean she can really get me to blow my stack. i control myself but sometimes she goes very far. and i just lose it. and im not even that type of person. and now im the one who is depressed This relationship does seem toxic. I really think you both need to get out of it and seek help. You can let each other go. You just don't want to at the moment. I think you need to stop thinking about this with your feelings and start looking at it rationally. If you stay, one or both of you could end up seriously hurt, or worse. I am trying to scare you because these things can and do escalate into serious violence and you both need to be really careful here. Link to comment
greywolf Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 wolf, i just cant find a way to go. i love her and all. but i think im to blame to. i have been pent up a lot latley cause i cant leave the house cause i had surgery. but she was crying after she hit me. i dont know what that says. and ill be honest she is 17. 3 years younger than i. so i dont know. cause i think i did start the fight. but i never meant to. i was joking but she is not the joking type. ill tell ya that. It doesn't matter who is to blame. No matter what you did it never gives anyone a right to hit you. It doesn't matter if she cried or not. Crying doesn't magically make everything ok. Breaking up with her is for your own good as well as hers. Link to comment
onesadman87 Posted May 23, 2008 Author Share Posted May 23, 2008 well dont forget, i did let her it me. i mean if thats what it took to stop all this then i was willing to it. she didint want to. but i told her if it made her feel better then go. and well after that it explains itself. but in the end was it my fault? Link to comment
greywolf Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 well dont forget, i did let her it me. i mean if thats what it took to stop all this then i was willing to it. she didint want to. but i told her if it made her feel better then go. and well after that it explains itself. but in the end was it my fault? I've already told you, it doesn't matter whose fault it is. Link to comment
onesadman87 Posted May 23, 2008 Author Share Posted May 23, 2008 ok, thanks. so you just think, end it? just like that Link to comment
DN Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 Whether you told her to or not isn't the point. She still chose to do it. And apparently chose to hit you in the past. Link to comment
Angel_baby Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 She is abusive. You need to leave her, no matter how much your heart says you love her things are just going to get worse. Her angry outbursts and put downs will escalate. You are already having problems controlling your anger which SHE is the one provoking. She should not of wanted to hit you... EVEN if you said she could. What person who cares and loves another would want to hit and hurt them??? My husband is abusive but never once when I have been really angry have I wanted to just punch or hit him. You need to leave. No talking will help. No counseling will help. She needs to get help on her own... she will probably deny that she has a problem and blame all of it on you. It isn't your fault she is like this. You will be happier away from her. At first it will hurt but as your heart mends you will see even clearer then now how toxic this relationship is. Link to comment
amure Posted May 24, 2008 Share Posted May 24, 2008 it sounds like you both just went out of control. i think you two should talk about it and make a decision on what you should do if future disagrements come up Link to comment
Gracelove Posted May 25, 2008 Share Posted May 25, 2008 You "bumped" her in the stomach?! Are you serious? Then you say, she "thought" you punched her? Are you kidding me? I've been punched in the stomach by a boyfriend before, and he certainly didn't try to convince me that it was a "bump". I have never heard that before in my life. If you're going to talk about it, just be honest. Say, "I pulled her hair and punched her in the stomach". Ya, you went to far, and I think you know that. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.