type of man who wants women to initiate

[Caterina]

What do you think about women who initiate physical contact? What kind of man only responds when women initiate?

 

Does that mean that he's out for guilt-free sex? Meaning, it was the woman who initiated so he could claim that he was responding and that it meant nothing...? Any other related thoughts?

[ghost69]

i like when a woman takes the reins and makes a move. it's hot.

 

guilt-free sex? not sure how this is related, but i don't really follow what you want answered. i never feel guilty about sex. why would i? some of the sex in my past i would take back though. haha. does sex mean something? yes. it means 2 adults had some physical desire, were turned on and what not, and acted on it.

[jettison]

What do you think about women who initiate physical contact? What kind of man only responds when women initiate?

 

Does that mean that he's out for guilt-free sex? Meaning, it was the woman who initiated so he could claim that he was responding and that it meant nothing...? Any other related thoughts?

 

I think that both men and women do this. If the other person initiates, it means that they're not the one taking the chance, risking rejection, etc. It's been historically the man's role because men are the gathers/hunters, and they are suppose to be genetically predisposed to failure/rejection. They can handle it better. If a man's advances are rejected? It's suppose to be ho/hum. Buck up. Don't whine about it.... oh wait, what was I saying? Sorry, I was just interrupted by this absurdly hot blond.... ok, back to the post. Men are suppose to just be able to brush it off.

 

A woman? Because she's suppose to hold the sexual doorway, if she puts out her advances, and then they're rejected, she's more likely to feel insulted. So, to answer your question, some men do this because it means they don't have to worry about rejection. It's the lazy man's approach to a woman. However, most women want a guy who is at least willing to step up to the plate enough to risk the rejection. It makes her feel worth it as in "This guy is wiling to make a fool of himself over me." It's flattering.

[anggrace]

When someones assertive, either male or female, it makes the receiver feel sexy and wanted. Who doesn't like that? Sometimes it's just fun to be dominated every once in a while to. If he never initiates, he's either selfish, extremely insecure, isn't in to you or just isn't a sexual person. Unless of coarse they both like it that way.

[Superfreak]

If the question is, if a woman initiates physical contact, kissing or petting, is the man going to think that the woman is interested in having sex with him? The answer is YES.

 

Alternatively if what your asking is, if a woman initiates physical contact is the man going to think of her as more of a F-buddy as opposed to relationship material? The answer is probably not. No more then not pushing a guy away when he tries to kiss makes him think of you as an F-buddy.

[Clementine orange]

I like a woman who takes charge, knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go for it. It's very refreshing.

The most frustrating thing in the world is some girl who tells you that 3 years ago they had a major crush on you (but gave you no hints) and they were waiting around for you to make a move.

Yes, this has happened to me.

[Caterina]

I like a woman who takes charge, knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go for it. It's very refreshing.

The most frustrating thing in the world is some girl who tells you that 3 years ago they had a major crush on you (but gave you no hints) and they were waiting around for you to make a move.

Yes, this has happened to me.

 

But what about the idea that if men really want you, they'll go after you? I mean, I've been rejected when I took control in the past. Men like to chase, they say

[amtjrtcet]

I think an equal balance of initiation is key from both sides.

 

For me I'm a control freak...so I could never be one of those women who sits and always waits on the man to initiate sex or flirting....on the other hand, I rarely call a man, EVER...But that's cuz I hate talking on the phone period.

[Clementine orange]

But what about the idea that if men really want you, they'll go after you? I mean, I've been rejected when I took control in the past. Men like to chase, they say

 

They say? yeah but men are lazy and women are really hard to figure out sometimes and we can also get tired of rejection sometimes...

Or we don't even know we want someone until we know they want us and then...(nothing sexier than a girl who wants you)

Or we figure we don't even have a chance with a certain woman so we don't even try...

The list goes on...

[Caterina]

They say? yeah but men are lazy and women are really hard to figure out sometimes and we can also get tired of rejection sometimes...

Or we don't even know we want someone until we know they want us and then...(nothing sexier than a girl who wants you)

Or we figure we don't even have a chance with a certain woman so we don't even try...

The list goes on...

My situation: Verbally I said that I wanted something, he said he didn't. But his actions, to me, speak differently. So what does that mean?

[ghost69]

My situation: Verbally I said that I wanted something, he said he didn't. But his actions, to me, speak differently. So what does that mean?

 

it means he gives off the signals, you went for it, but he doesn't want that. end of case.

[lady00]

My situation: Verbally I said that I wanted something, he said he didn't. But his actions, to me, speak differently. So what does that mean?

 

It means: run. Find someone who can match his actions to his words.

[Caterina]

it means he gives off the signals, you went for it, but he doesn't want that. end of case.

 

No, after he told me he didn't want a relationship, he does things that would suggest he does in some ways though

[lady00]

No, after he told me he didn't want a relationship, he does things that would suggest he does in some ways though

 

OK, so either he likes playing games or he doesn't know what he wants. Either way, not a good sign...he's giving you the "run, get away before you get too attached" warning flags.

 

One thing I've learned the hard way: if a man says he does not want a relationship, believe him. Don't look at what he does and try to interpret his signals. Believe him and be his friend if you want to. Sane men don't tell women they want to be with that they don't want a relationship. And if he's not sane...

[Caterina]

OK, so either he likes playing games or he doesn't know what he wants. Either way, not a good sign...he's giving you the "run, get away before you get too attached" warning flags.

 

I'm attached, there isn't any getting away from that. But too attached, I mean, what does that mean exactly? Either way, more or less, farther or deeper, people claim I'm doing wrong and I'll get hurt.

[lady00]

I'm attached

 

You are, but and I'm sorry to be so blunt here--he's not. I think the only thing you can do now is detach yourself the old-fashioned way, by taking a long break from contact.

 

Take it from someone who has, in the past, continued to see several guys who said they didn't want a relationship but would flirt, kiss, do everything that one might interpret as wanting more than friendship. In the end, none of those situations ever worked out.

[Caterina]

You are, but and I'm sorry to be so blunt here--he's not. I think the only thing you can do now is detach yourself the old-fashioned way, by taking a long break from contact.

 

I tried taking a break before. I contacted him in about two months. We've gotten closer again. If I break it off again, its going to be one of those cheesy off and on relationships that so many people have. Maybe I should just fade away. But he's done nothing wrong, I've done nothing wrong...why punish?

 

What makes you think he's not attached?

 

Won't it hurt me to cut off contact? Whats sooner or later mean? Simply the degree?

 

I'm not obsessed over the guy, he's just a friend.

[lady00]

I tried taking a break before. I contacted him in about two months. We've gotten closer again. If I break it off again, its going to be one of those cheesy off and on relationships that so many people have. Maybe I should just fade away. But he's done nothing wrong, I've done nothing wrong...why punish?

 

What makes you think he's not attached?

 

Won't it hurt me to cut off contact? Whats sooner or later mean? Simply the degree?

 

I'm not obsessed over the guy, he's just a friend.

 

Taking a break from someone is not a punishment at all...it's not even about him. It's about you and getting your head right so you'll be open when a guy who really wants to date you and that you also really want to date comes into your life.

 

If he doesn't want a relationship, then he's not attached. Guys who are attached don't run the risk of having another guy swoop in and date the girl they want. They swoop in themselves and date her before any other guy gets the chance.

 

It's good you're not obsessed. But it sounds like you do think about him and it does bother you if you're worried about interpreting his signals after he's told you he doesn't want a relationship.

[Caterina]

Taking a break from someone is not a punishment at all...it's not even about him. It's about you and getting your head right so you'll be open when a guy who really wants to date you and that you also really want to date comes into your life.

 

If he doesn't want a relationship, then he's not attached. Guys who are attached don't run the risk of having another guy swoop in and date the girl they want. They swoop in themselves and date her before any other guy gets the chance.

 

It's good you're not obsessed. But it sounds like you do think about him and it does bother you if you're worried about interpreting his signals after he's told you he doesn't want a relationship.

 

Oh I suppose you're right. I should just forget about him. He's a waste of my time. But no guy comes into my life, so don't pretend with that. I'm over him, I guess. I'm too used to men who know how to treat a woman to put up with baloney.

[ghost69]

Oh I suppose you're right. I should just forget about him. He's a waste of my time. But no guy comes into my life, so don't pretend with that. I'm over him, I guess. I'm too used to men who know how to treat a woman to put up with baloney.

 

that's why you get so attached. you think, wow this guy is showing me attention, i should latch on. you fail to realize they aren't that into you and you should move on though.

[Caterina]

that's why you get so attached. you think, wow this guy is showing me attention, i should latch on. you fail to realize they aren't that into you and you should move on though.

 

Why would they show me attention if they aren't into you?

[ghost69]

Why would they show me attention if they aren't into you?

 

some people do that. you need to see the others signs. like you asking and them telling you they aren't ready to date. that is a 'sorry, i'm not interested.' some people are just messed up like that.

[lady00]

I am the kind of guy. It doesnt mean just sex. For example, Im a good looking guy, nice bod, assertive, got my life straight, etc and looking for a gf. I just dont like to approach women. I find they have too many games and act too immature. But sometimes I have no choice because most dont approach me. Girls usually won't approach a guy they really like anyway.

 

I have had it drilled into me by various sources of advice not to ask a guy out. Approach, yes, but ask out no. So if you're waiting for someone to approach you and strike up a conversation, that's one thing. If you're waiting for someone to ask you out...unlikely.

[lady00]

Why would they show me attention if they aren't into you?

 

Maybe for an ego boost. Maybe he just really thinks you're cool as a friend...I have this friend who thought I wanted more just because I was happy and friendly around him. I didn't mean anything by it and am always genuinely happy to see him but I don't want anything romantic. So, he may not realize he's doing it or he knows it and likes the ego boost of knowing you like him.

[Lauren8785]

He may just be showing other signs because he doesn't want a serious relationship but a friend with benefits type of thing.