Confidence is the key.

[mikeyc]

Hope this tip helps some of you guys out there...

I'm not the best looking guy in the world (to put it mildly). At school I never had a girlfriend. My first real girlfriend was at the age of 16 and she was a psycho, so lets ignore her for now. Through University I dated the occasional girl but I've never been the sort of person that had girls coming after me - I had to do the chasing and usually, the girls that I dated were friends with me for a while so they got to know that I'm actually quite a nice guy.

(this is leading somewhere... Honest)

After University, I decided that I'd had enough and wanted to travel. I travelled the world working in various places until I landed a job as a rep, promoting a party. I was desperate for money and it seemed like a fun job - I was soooo right! I spent 5 months on this job and it changed my life forever. In order to make money, I needed to sell... In order to sell, I needed confidence. As the weeks went by my confidence grew and grew, women started coming to me without me even talking to them, I was a woman-magnet. When I finished the job, I returned to the UK and all of my friends said there was a different air about me. People can sense someone with confidence and women love it. I'm not talking about being cocky, simply don't be afraid to talk to someone, anyone in fact.

My advice is, if you're a single guy looking for love, then don't look so hard.. Just enjoy yourself, it doesn't matter what you look like, if you think you are unnatractive, so what! Get out there and have a laugh!!!

Confidence around the opposite sex is not easy to attain but with it you will find that getting your foot in the door is a whole lot easier and if you are a nice guy all you need is that foot in the door, then your personality will seal the deal.

Did that make any sense?!!?!?

[Pengui6668]

makes plenty of sense but i'm sure everyone would like to have confidence... i'm 19 and still can't talk to girls easily... i'm normally in some altered state of mind when around girls now (drunk, high) so it's slightly easier... sober i'm just not a nice guy... i know this.. i'm very irritable and aggaravated... depression sucks... i sure need that confidence tho.. there's this girl i actually really have a big crush on but i still haven't gotten down to talking to her one on one... gotta work on that... any tips for gaining confidence oh wise one?

[mikeyc]

My young padawan learner. A Jedi feels confidence flow through him but do not give in to the dark side. The dark side leads to hate, suffering and no women.

Seriously though mate, everyone is different and I'm sure confidence is easier to obtain for some people than it is for others.

Didn't someone once say that if you make a girl laugh, you're half way to her heart (can any girls back that up?). Maybe you should take a step back, just talk to this girl like she was one of your male mates, have a laugh but don't expect to score. This way, your true personality will shine through rather than your nerves. If she likes you - she'll come after you and you win.

One thing that does dent your confidence is rejection. I have first hand experience of this as do millions of blokes out there. If you go after girls and time after time you are rejected it's very hard to keep that confident outlook. I used to find that the fear of being laughed at or rejected prevented me from trying to chat to a girl, however, you soon realise that most girls like to be approached - imagine the buzz they get from that, it's probably similar to the feeling you would get if a girl singled you out in a crowded room.

Would be nice to have a girls viewpoint on this though, wouldn't it?

I may be completely wrong.

[Pengui6668]

I make her laugh the entire time she's with me... that's one good trait i know i have, i can make anyone laugh... she was laughing so hard her lungs were hurting her... she told me some story about how her spine got druched into her lung and dented it... yet she stands up straight as an arrow.. interesting... lol Yeah, laughter... and i've got a bottle of absolut... she loves vodka, so, maye she and i could take a few and loosen up... Next time i see her i plan on approaching her and striking up small talk, asking for her number, see if she has any interest.. i don't really plan on her having an interest, but we'll see what happens.. Girls input would be very appreciated!!

[zippitt]

Yes confidence is key! I am a good looking guy, I know it, I get told how cute I am all the time. But guess what, because of my low confidence it hasn't helped me out all that much. I have lost so many opportunities from low self confidence. Mikeyc is exactly right when he said "talk to anyone" Yes anyone, boys and girls. It sounds funny but even talking to guys that you think are cocky, good looking, or smart well help with self confidence. Then you can start much easier with the girls. I have been working at this, I talk to people I wouldn't even normally bother with. It's slowly building up to the point where girls do not intimidate me. In any case you have to want to change to make the change. I had to force myself, and it's still a little uncomfortable. Just take it one step at a time.

[holeinmysoul33]

Hey Guys.

 

You said you wanted a girl's perspective on it, so here you go:

 

You could say confidence is the key to being attractive. A guy is definently more attractive when he has a cinfident air about him. But more important is for a guy to be willing to talk to a girl, especially about stuff that she wants to talk to. I guess you could consider this confidence. Just be careful to not sound over-confident, cause the biggest turn-off for most girls is an arrogant guy. And pickup lines are the worst idea. And don't try to be something your not. YOu want the girl to like you for who you are, not what you want to be or think she wants you to be.

 

Also, I will admit that alcohol makes it easier to open up, but don't rely on that. You've got to be able to talk to her sober too. One of the best things I can tell you is treat a girl the way you would treat your sister, or if you don't have a sister, the way you would a friend. GIrls like that the best.

 

Good luck to you.

[dazedpunk1607306446]

also, try to steer away from sports and cars and "guy things" unless you find out shes interested in them. sorry to break the news, but most girls dont care how the 49ers did. also, if ur an artist or poet or something that helps.

[ben37d]

Hey im 16 and i have a situation kind of like this. I have my friends, and around them i will act how i normally would. I even have this great friend who's a girl, that i like. I act normal around her too. But there is this one girl. For some reason when i am around her i never act like i normally would. its almost like i want to be better for her. I know what ur gonna say about being yourself but its so hard to open up and do that. If i change then thats not the real me... I will think of something to say that i would normally but for some reason i wont. I say that i am reserved. I dont do the things i would do around some people. Its starting to get a little easier but its still not the same as around others. It sucks too