Men..

[kr356]

Why don't men make sense.. well they do.. but why do they say one thing that they want one day, you do whatever they need you too, then the next day thats not what they wanted and they wanted what you did in the first place

 

please just make sense so i can fix this stupid situation argh.

[Mr. Brightside]

Why don't men make sense.. well they do.. but why do they say one thing that they want one day, you do whatever they need you too, then the next day thats not what they wanted and they wanted what you did in the first place

 

please just make sense so i can fix this stupid situation argh.

 

Sounds like some women to me with the only difference being minutes instead of days. ](*,)

 

But seriously, men and women who act like this usually have some kind of power complex where they must keep their significant others always guessing what they want. Thus the significant other is usually wrong, making the power wielder "right" most of the time. Hence they are always able to decide everything.

 

Your question is ambiguous, so it is tough to give any advice without specifics.

[Whiplash Girl Child]

I think a lot of people do that, regardless of sex. Some people do not know what they want, and think they want ABC when they really want XYZ. Only they don't realize that they want XYZ until they first get ABC.

[kr356]

we aren't even dating... thats what is making me angry.. we aren't dating but i feel like i did when i was in a 3 year relationship lol

 

theny ou catch them out on changing their mind, so it's confusing to you.. then they 'can't talk now'

*shakes her head*

[Day_Walker]

You can never ask a person to be something that they arent and it seems to me that people have expectations that a person can conform to a promise to do something or whatever else. Instances like that are like a single request and if you are looking for a person who will do what you ask them then you need to find a person who has that character trait in them already.

[Mr. Brightside]

we aren't even dating... thats what is making me angry.. we aren't dating but i feel like i did when i was in a 3 year relationship lol

 

theny ou catch them out on changing their mind, so it's confusing to you.. then they 'can't talk now'

*shakes her head*

 

I definitely know what you are talking about. All I've been able to do is walk away confused. Some people's logic uses the space detour. I've found that I don't have the patience for those people anymore.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Why don't men make sense.. well they do.. but why do they say one thing that they want one day, you do whatever they need you too, then the next day thats not what they wanted and they wanted what you did in the first place

 

please just make sense so i can fix this stupid situation argh.

 

haha need more details b/c you just described how us women (or me!) can be..

[JimmerJammer]

kr356,

 

Not exactly sure what this is in reference to, but I agree that sometimes people want something one moment and then want something else the next. It usually deal with those who are not fully sure of what their preferences are or have not become aware of what they want for themselves. Typically with those who have not matured and so are all over the place because they can't be happy with the choice they made. This isn't always the case, but it does apply to some.

 

Without specifics though, it's simply guesswork.

[musicguy]

ummm women do the same thing--say one thing, do another

[iwishiknew]

Why are a lot of girls so picky about height & looks? Whats important is sharing the same common interests, the same activities, sports, music, movies, foods, and hobbies..I share so many common interests as girls do and they don't give me a chance at all, instead I get turned down because of my size and my looks....Why does it have to be so difficult? why?

[thejigsup]

I've dated several men who were shorter than me. I prefer a tall man, mainly because I am tall, but if a man I am attracted to is short, that's okay with me. I think any woman with any class will not turn down a shorter man if everything else matches up.

[kr356]

He normally does make sense.. and normally doesn't contradict himself.. but he is now and it's just hard to figure out what I am meant to do to fix this situation if he doesn't make sense now...

[Mr. Brightside]

He normally does make sense.. and normally doesn't contradict himself.. but he is now and it's just hard to figure out what I am meant to do to fix this situation if he doesn't make sense now...

 

Specify the situation.

[Bob3000]

Why don't men make sense.. well they do.. but why do they say one thing that they want one day, you do whatever they need you too, then the next day thats not what they wanted and they wanted what you did in the first place

No idea. Don't think I've ever done that, so I guess it's just some men. And some women! I've recently lost the woman I love and that seems to be partly because what she said she wanted wasn't what she actually wanted, and partly because what she wanted kept changing. (Though there's more to my story than that...)

[kr356]

haha need more details b/c you just described how us women (or me!) can be..

 

kr356,

 

Not exactly sure what this is in reference to, but I agree that sometimes people want something one moment and then want something else the next. It usually deal with those who are not fully sure of what their preferences are or have not become aware of what they want for themselves. Typically with those who have not matured and so are all over the place because they can't be happy with the choice they made. This isn't always the case, but it does apply to some.

 

Without specifics though, it's simply guesswork.

Ok a bit more clarification.. My best friend and I are fighting.. He likes me more than a friend, and has done for 7 years.. and I don't feel the same, everytime he asks I tell him that I am only interested in friendship, but if my feelings change I will tell him. On the weekend his other best friend and I were close.. talking and hugging.. our friend got pissed off, which i can understand as he would have been hurt, even though nothing was going on. But he is saying that I never give him a straight answer when it comes to the topic of us, and it gets his hopes up.. so I tell him straight out that i'm not interested, but then he says that all he wanted was for me to tell him I am not interested, or let him know if there was a chance that my feelings will change in the future.. but thats what I have always been telling him CONFUSED.

Why are a lot of girls so picky about height & looks? Whats important is sharing the same common interests, the same activities, sports, music, movies, foods, and hobbies..I share so many common interests as girls do and they don't give me a chance at all, instead I get turned down because of my size and my looks....Why does it have to be so difficult? why?

I don't think girls are picky with height and looks, but if you aren't sexually attracted to someone it is hard to see yourself with them in a sexual relationship, once people get to know you that can change, but first meeting that sexual attraction is what helps things move along..

[Bob3000]

Why are a lot of girls so picky about height & looks?

Without wanting to hijack this thread...

 

If you feel you're lacking in the height and looks departments, you'll probably be lacking in confidence - and I suspect that this lack of confidence is more of an issue than your actual height and looks. Girls typically want a confident guy. That confidence can make you more attractive than height and looks could.

 

For example, I remember reading about a short guy who used to say to tall girls "I wouldn't normally date tall girls, but for you I'll make an exception". He turned it around so that it was their height that was the issue, not his lack of it. Apparently it worked...

[Mr. Brightside]

I can see your message clear as day, but the infatuation cloud is surrounding your friend. He is switching up what he wants because neither answer you give him is what he would like the ultimate conclusion to be. He is either too proud or insecure to give up the infatuation. I think he is running you back and forth because he is hoping that one day you will have a different answer for him.

 

It actually reminds me of Dumb & Dumber, when Jim Carrey's character makes the girl tell him what his chances are of getting with her AFTER she rejects him.

 

"One in a million" she says.

 

He responds "...soooo you're saying there's a chance!"

[Lauren8785]

Why are a lot of girls so picky about height & looks? Whats important is sharing the same common interests, the same activities, sports, music, movies, foods, and hobbies..I share so many common interests as girls do and they don't give me a chance at all, instead I get turned down because of my size and my looks....Why does it have to be so difficult? why?

 

Men do the same exact thing!!! If your not 'model type' material. Most likely they will not give you a second glance or even a chance!!!! I agree common interests and finding that "spark" is whats important. NOT looks. So tell me why guys are picky too!?!?!?

[Lauren8785]

I can see your message clear as day, but the infatuation cloud is surrounding your friend. He is switching up what he wants because neither answer you give him is what he would like the ultimate conclusion to be. He is either too proud or insecure to give up the infatuation. I think he is running you back and forth because he is hoping that one day you will have a different answer for him.

 

It actually reminds me of Dumb & Dumber, when Jim Carrey's character makes the girl tell him what his chances are of getting with her AFTER she rejects him.

 

"One in a million" she says.

 

He responds "So you're saying there's a chance!"

 

I agree with Mr. Brightside! He keeps driving you insane because he doesn't want to hear you only like him as a friend. He wants you to say you like him like that. If someone kept naggin me like that. I would run the other way. I know he's your best friend and all, but maybe keeping some distance would be a good idea so he can get over his strong feelings for you. Otherwise this will NEVER end!!!!

[daintyfairy83]

that sounds more like my MIL (to be) than my bf. I think it's really not about the gender but the person itself. Oh wait, I'm being a hypocrite myself. I never know what I really want, so I sway a lot too

[kr356]

I can see your message clear as day, but the infatuation cloud is surrounding your friend. He is switching up what he wants because neither answer you give him is what he would like the ultimate conclusion to be. He is either too proud or insecure to give up the infatuation. I think he is running you back and forth because he is hoping that one day you will have a different answer for him.

 

It actually reminds me of Dumb & Dumber, when Jim Carrey's character makes the girl tell him what his chances are of getting with her AFTER she rejects him.

 

"One in a million" she says.

 

He responds "...soooo you're saying there's a chance!"

 

Yea I can see what you mean for sure.. I love him with all my heart and I can completely understand how hard this is for him.. but I can't date him if the feeling isn't there.. and I also don't want to be careful of who I have feels for because of his feelings for me either.. but I will if that is my option to stop hurting him..

 

 

I agree with Mr. Brightside! He keeps driving you insane because he doesn't want to hear you only like him as a friend. He wants you to say you like him like that. If someone kept naggin me like that. I would run the other way. I know he's your best friend and all, but maybe keeping some distance would be a good idea so he can get over his strong feelings for you. Otherwise this will NEVER end!!!!

 

We have had time apart before.. from a month to a year.. but 7 years later and he still has these feelings for me.. i love him, and i want to be able to make him happy but i can't do it the way he wants me too, and while he tells me that he is ok with that.. we end up were we are today.. feeling like a complete b. that only thinks of herself..

[sti_2004]

maybe coz men are from mars?

[kr356]

so true lol

[iwishiknew]

I don't think girls are picky with height and looks, but if you aren't sexually attracted to someone it is hard to see yourself with them in a sexual relationship, once people get to know you that can change, but first meeting that sexual attraction is what helps things move along..

 

Yes I am sexually attracted to all girls!! I have always wanted to kiss a girl make love, have sex, but being unattractive is really hard to make a spark.. I know a lot girls don't find me sexually attractive at all..Possibly thats why I never had a gf or a date yet

[Mr. Brightside]

Yea I can see what you mean for sure.. I love him with all my heart and I can completely understand how hard this is for him.. but I can't date him if the feeling isn't there.. and I also don't want to be careful of who I have feels for because of his feelings for me either.. but I will if that is my option to stop hurting him..

 

I know what you are saying, for sure. You need to be able to live your own life without having to hold back. Just know that you are not responsible for what he feels. You have told him in no uncertain terms that you are not interested.

 

We have had time apart before.. from a month to a year.. but 7 years later and he still has these feelings for me.. i love him, and i want to be able to make him happy but i can't do it the way he wants me too, and while he tells me that he is ok with that.. we end up were we are today..

 

It will just get worse the more serious your relationships with other men become. You may have to reduce your friendship to acquaintanceship or even go NC.

 

feeling like a complete b. that only thinks of herself..

 

It's sad that a "friend" can affect us that way. Unfortunately, it just shows how selfish HE is, by not caring that you are feeling bad about the situation. As long as he continues to only think of himself, you will continue to feel like this. You are not responsible for his feelings. You cannot change him or his feelings.

 

I would say the next time he brings up the topic, sit him down and tell him that he needs to stop and that you are not interested in more than a friendship. He will probably just try to agree with you to make the confrontation go away, but he needs to know it must not come up again, even in little hints.

 

Friends should not be making you feel this way and he needs to know that. Let him decide: If he cannot keep things at a friend level, then the friendship may not be able to continue.