redhotchilipepper Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 So I dated my ex for 3 years...almost 4 and we split up because of outside forces which made it hard for our relationship to work. We remained friends for months after the break-up but would sometimes argue as all couples and friends do sometimes...thing is everyonce and a while we would argue and one of us would hang up the phone and we would play the waiting game...sometimes days turning into weeks. I think now its been the longest time ever. The last time we talked was January 22nd and I hung up the phone on her because she said something that upset me and I never called her back since neither has she attempted to contact me...so its coming up to 4 months and everything in my life seems to be alright but sometimes I wish I just acted as the bigger person and called her back. Why waste so many years over a stupid phone call? Her sister actually called me to see how I was doing a week or two ago..she has kids and is married and she told me that her sister talks about me all the time and that I should call her but I still cant find it in me to call her back...I feel like since this much time has past I should just let go for good...we werent dating when it happened so maybe it wasnt meant to be...if I call her what would I say...maybe we would just argue again...maybe shes happy thats why she has not phoned but I can live with either or...just wanted to ask if anyone else ever ended something with a friend over a stupid phone call? Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 It's not too late....give her a call! Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 A friend and I had a fight over something totally ridiculous...he over-reacted and I told him bluntly that he was being ridiculous. We didn't talk for several months and then I ended up calling him up to tell him something I thought he would be interested in knowing and also to chat. From that point on everything was fine. To this day we still joke about that fight.. I have been friends with him for over 25 years. Link to comment
eurocar Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 Sometimes, we let our egos get in the way of our relationships, even with people we care for dearly--or even love. It is best to be the "bigger man," as you said, and call her up. She'll understand. She's probably thinking along similar lines but hasn't quite found it within herself to call you yet. Be the first, and feel good about yourself. Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 Sometimes, we let our egos get in the way of our relationships, even with people we care for dearly--or even love. It is best to be the "bigger man," as you said, and call her up. She'll understand. She's probably thinking along similar lines but hasn't quite found it within herself to call you yet. Be the first, and feel good about yourself. I think this is happening to me right now in fact! Link to comment
eurocar Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 I think this is happening to me right now in fact! Ironically, the same seems to be the case for me, as well, at the moment. I usually am the "bigger man," if only by default, because I can't stand the thought of being apart or not talking any longer. It's a matter of willpower perpetuated by ego. Link to comment
redhotchilipepper Posted May 9, 2008 Author Share Posted May 9, 2008 Sometimes, we let our egos get in the way of our relationships, even with people we care for dearly--or even love. It is best to be the "bigger man," as you said, and call her up. She'll understand. She's probably thinking along similar lines but hasn't quite found it within herself to call you yet. Be the first, and feel good about yourself. Today is the first day I went on her facebook and I noticed shes with someone which for the first time didnt bother me like it did before. In the past whenever I saw her with someone or knew of her going out with someone I would fill up with rage and jealousy but its sooo much different now I cant explain it. I just want her to be happy. Im actually kinda nervous and scared to call her I know it sounds like Im acting like a sissy but I dont really know what to tell her...everyday that has passed made it harder to pick up the phone and easier to just leave it alone. Ill probably think about it a little more and if its even worth bothering with. Link to comment
SpeedingCars Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 I was hoping to find a post somewhat similar to my situation! He is my ex (we were in the process of getting back together...OR SO I THOUGHT) ....we got into a really dumb argument which turned into a big fight and he hung up on me. I called him twice, he never responded. It's been 2 weeks since we've spoken. This is the longest we've "ignored" each other... the past arguments were just a few days or so. I'm starting to get really worried that he hates my guts and doesn't want anything to do with me, although I *did* send him a text asking if we were "done" and he has yet to respond... It sucks because I don't feel like I got closure... and I'm not sure if we'll ever talk again! Maybe give it a few more days or a week or two to see if things calmed down... There's this quote: "It's okay to lose your pride over someone you love... but don't lose someone you love though, over your pride." Link to comment
eurocar Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 Today is the first day I went on her facebook and I noticed shes with someone which for the first time didnt bother me like it did before. In the past whenever I saw her with someone or knew of her going out with someone I would fill up with rage and jealousy but its sooo much different now I cant explain it. I just want her to be happy. Im actually kinda nervous and scared to call her I know it sounds like Im acting like a sissy but I dont really know what to tell her...everyday that has passed made it harder to pick up the phone and easier to just leave it alone. Ill probably think about it a little more and if its even worth bothering with. You may want her to be happy, in a general sense, but your desire to be with her supplants that sentiment; it is only natural to want that, of course, but you should not confuse what you really want. If you're totally over her, I can understand your just wanting her to be happy (though we usually wouldn't express that desire if we didn't have some degree of feeling for the person), but it doesn't sound like that's the case. I was hoping to find a post somewhat similar to my situation! He is my ex (we were in the process of getting back together...OR SO I THOUGHT) ....we got into a really dumb argument which turned into a big fight and he hung up on me. I called him twice, he never responded. It's been 2 weeks since we've spoken. This is the longest we've "ignored" each other... the past arguments were just a few days or so. I'm starting to get really worried that he hates my guts and doesn't want anything to do with me, although I *did* send him a text asking if we were "done" and he has yet to respond... It sucks because I don't feel like I got closure... and I'm not sure if we'll ever talk again! Maybe give it a few more days or a week or two to see if things calmed down... There's this quote: "It's okay to lose your pride over someone you love... but don't lose someone you love though, over your pride." Similar situation here, honestly. I always initiate again and he never accepts even fractional responsibility for anything. I wonder if girls are less stubborn and messed up and I should go after them exclusively. Probably not, I know a lot of insane girls too. ](*,) Link to comment
SpeedingCars Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 I think we're all equally insane, eurocar! I'm sorry to hear that. Really, I think if I just got a "I don't want to talk right now", I'd stop beating myself up over this sudden "break". Btw, how long did he ignore you for? Link to comment
eurocar Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 I think we're all equally insane, eurocar! I'm sorry to hear that. Really, I think if I just got a "I don't want to talk right now", I'd stop beating myself up over this sudden "break". Btw, how long did he ignore you for? Are you asking me or someone else? Sorry, I may have missed something obvious, I'm just a little tired today. I'm insane and I'm the first (or last, depending on when you catch me) to admit it. Link to comment
SpeedingCars Posted May 10, 2008 Share Posted May 10, 2008 Oh... sorry for the miscommunication. Yes, I was referring to you Eurocar Link to comment
eurocar Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 Oh... sorry for the miscommunication. Yes, I was referring to you Eurocar I met him online, we arranged to hang out that first weekend we talked on the phone, then I got a little clingy/insecure (well...a lot) and he ignored me for about a month. We then picked back up talking online and he claimed he wanted more time before meeting me (perfectly understandable, I suppose). I then found out, after about four months total of "knowing" him (online/on the phone, only) that he had, in fact, lied about some very disturbing things, including his dad committing suicide and his mom being a dysfunctional drunkard and his identity--looks, etc. It was pretty crazy. This is going to sound really bizarre (that I'd put up with someone like that), but we're actually kind of romantically involved now. It's the real him, though. At least, I feel that way some of the time... Link to comment
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