mothers day rant

[emailas]

I hate mothers day. Every year, there are crappy ads on TV which show mothers and daughters being best friends within a perfect family.

 

Of course, I am not taking away from all the things mothers have done for their children around the world.

I just get frustrated about the whole expectation it places on everyone and the reminder it serves of "what should be" to those of us who don't have a good relationship with our mothers.

[Lucy__lou]

I don't watch television, and I can't quite muster up the cheesyness to send my mum a card that's not sincere anyway. but I feel bad, because I know my mum watches telly, so she probably feels sad when I forget her each year.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Mother's Day and Father's Day are commercialized days that allow businesses to make money. Up there with Valentine's Day. Lots of people do the big hoopla on those days and then the rest of the year they couldn't be bothered with their mother, father or partner. In my family we never celebrated Mother's Day and Father's Day...my parents didn't much go in for all the commercialism. For us, "Mother's Day" is celebrated on my mother's birthday in April and "Father's Day" is celebrated on my father's birthday in August.

[itsallgrand]

Growing up, we celebrated Mother's Day, Father's Day in a big way.

 

However, we also had a day we celebrated Kid's Day. In a big way.

 

Mom is the only parent I have left, and though our relationship is strained and awkward and we sure as heck don't fit into some Hallmark ad - we'll be celebrating.

 

If anything, it's a way of reminding her (and myself): Gee Mom, I sure am glad you are alive. lol.

 

It's not hard to do and it's an excuse to keep trying with her. Like I need an excuse but...

 

Make someone happy, why not. She doesn't ask for much - a phone call, me letting her know I acknowledge her existence.

 

Sorry...I understand the angst about it...but once I gave up on wanting that perfect relationship with mom that I'll probably never have...I gave up on caring what other people do.

 

Certainly won't be buying a Hallmark card. If she gets one, it'll be made by me just like when I was a little kid. lol.

[nikesnlevis]

Really saddens me to read these posts. I think everyone, needs to feel the love of their mother, and its really, really sad, some never got that. I'm grateful to have 2 very loving, supporting parents. Holidays, mostly commercialized are still a good time to celebrate. My mother is a soldier, and never gave up on me (I was a horrible kid), so it's a time for me to give thanks, to having my mothers love, and friendship that always pulled me through. She was always the "community mom" and still is. Love ya mom

[lillie]

Really saddens me to read these posts. I think everyone, needs to feel the love of their mother, and its really, really sad, some never got that. I'm grateful to have 2 very loving, supporting parents. Holidays, mostly commercialized are still a good time to celebrate. My mother is a soldier, and never gave up on me (I was a horrible kid), so it's a time for me to give thanks, to having my mothers love, and friendship that always pulled me through. She was always the "community mom" and still is. Love ya mom

 

I love mothers day. It is the only day my dad will let my mother & i go out without him!!!

 

We always buy each other a gift & go to a restaurant or eat at mine. She really treasures this day & what it means and the time we can spend together..

 

In fact only friday just gone i bought her a gift for mothers day. I only got her chocolates this year as i had so much on i didnt get to think about it as much. So i picked up a lovely piece of Nao for her & gave it to her yesterday.

 

Better late than never & she is understanding thankfully..

[emailas]

LOL. This is my ritual every year...

 

I go to the card shop AT LEAST 2 times, I'll read through all the cards, feel sorry for myself, feel sorry for her, walk out. I'll wait till the nth hour, feel guilty and go back to buy her a card.

I agonise over the wording and how my mother would accept it....too cheesy, too boring...too plain...says too little...says too much (!!)

 

From experience, the drama ensues - she says something nasty like gifts won't buy her love, she says thank you via text or says nothing at all and pretends she never got it. Phone call would entail hearing her go on about how she has nothing to celebrate when you ask her what she did on the day ( i live o/seas). She feels invalidated by my efforts (or perceived lask thereof), I feel hurt by her response and it just sets us both back.

It's really, like you say and excuse to keep trying and like i need more excuses..

 

Sigh...

[itsallgrand]

The card aisle should be called DEPRESSION and ANXIETY alley.

 

I guess you could just ask her what she wants, and do it now...no big bang on the day.

 

I'm sorry, it does sound like she is sticking you between a rock and hard place with your efforts!

[metrogirl]

I hate mothers day. Every year, there are crappy ads on TV which show mothers and daughters being best friends within a perfect family.

 

Of course, I am not taking away from all the things mothers have done for their children around the world.

I just get frustrated about the whole expectation it places on everyone and the reminder it serves of "what should be" to those of us who don't have a good relationship with our mothers.

 

I understand how you feel. I don't have a relationship with my mother other than the fact that she lives with me because she has no one else. I was never really close to her. I tend to feel a little akward on Mother's Day because I don't really go all out and get her a big gift. Out of respect, I do get her a little something, but never with a card.

 

I wish I would have had a better relationship with her, it just never happened that way.

[Mythical_Suicide]

I hate mothers day. Every year, there are crappy ads on TV which show mothers and daughters being best friends within a perfect family.

 

Of course, I am not taking away from all the things mothers have done for their children around the world.

I just get frustrated about the whole expectation it places on everyone and the reminder it serves of "what should be" to those of us who don't have a good relationship with our mothers.

 

I agree and what's even harder is seeing all these sappy Mother's Day commercials with all these daughters and moms and knowing I'll never get to spend another Mother's Day with my mom since she's gone. Fortunately for me, I have a son who I plan on spending Mother's Day with and just making the best of it.

[emailas]

ok..so it wasn't too bad...or maybe i am getting used to it.

 

Got her flowers and rang her on the day instead. Response was "yeah, thanks, if you really mean it you wouldn't be the sort of daughter that has done all the things you have done. You mean to say a phone call to me means you really mean to wish me?" "call me when you mean it" and she hung up...no mention of flowers at all, don't know if she got them and preceeded to tell my aunty I never rang her for mothers day....sigh. Another year over.

[hers]

I hate that I never read this thread when you posted it. I'm glad to see others feel the same way about mother's day that I do...my mom made it un-fun in our house, as our gifts were never ever good enough. So I gave up just to be spiteful, but yesterday I wasjust really depressed about it. Hang in there. Thanks for directing me here.