It will get BETTER

[sunflower_girl]

I was completely in love with a guy for more than a year. He loved me back and, at least in the beginning, everything was so perfect. However, I moved away for school...slowly but surely, we started to drift apart. The fights became more frequent, the genuine "love yous" came less often. He broke up with me and I was completely CRUSHED. This was my first love, I lost my virginity to him, he bought me a RING and we promised to get marry once I was done with college. I thought I would love him forever and I thought that I could never move on. It hurt so much in the beginning.

 

Yet, you love, you live, you learn. And the best thing is...somehow, you’ll manage to pick yourself up. Over the past couple of months, I've started to gain my independence back. Instead of waiting for the phone, hoping that he'll call me...I'm leaving the phone at home and going out to ENJOY LIFE. I'm making more friends, I'm doing well in school and I'm starting to (slowly) see other guys.

 

The days of endless crying have stopped. I don't wake up in the morning feeling sad; I no longer hear "our" song on the radio and feel depressed. I listen to the old song...and just enjoy the melodies. So, below are some of the things I did that really helped me through this extremely hard break up. I hope it can help others.

 

1. VENT TO FRIENDS. Without my friends, I don't know if I could've stayed sane. Especially in the first couple of weeks, I need to talk to friends and just vent. "Why? What if? Blah blah blah" Just talk it out with people you know care about you.

 

2. EAT. I know this is terrible, but eating helps! Chocolate, ice cream, yummy treats. Now that you're single, why not enjoy it? Don't get depressed and stop eating--you HAVE to stay healthy! Even if you don't feel like it, force yourself to eat at least 2-3 times a day.

 

3. GO TO THE GYM. Running helps, it clears your mind and takes a lot of aggression out. Also, running can be a form of control and help with post-break up self esteem issues. When you're running, YOU'RE in charge.

 

4. TALK TO YOUR PARENTS. When you're in a relationship, that significant other becomes the main person in your life. Now that they're no longer there, it's perfect time to catch up with loved ones. Lately, I've been calling my parents more often--I'm building a closer relationship with them and it feels very good.

 

5. GO OUT. Drink, live it up a little, p-a-r-t-y! Have fun...it'll take your mind off of the break up.

 

6. GIVE IT TIME. Don't expect the pain to go away right away. If you really loved that person, it might not even be gone in a couple of months....feelings take time to forget. Don't be hard on yourself.

 

7. GIVE OTHER PEOPLE A CHANCE. After a relationship, you feel that you've lost you chance. What if that was "the one"? What if there's no one else as perfect for you out there? Um...the truth is, if that person was so perfect, you guys will still be together! Now that it's over, you need to (slowly) date. Try not to compare the new people to your ex! Just have fun, enjoy their company and take things slowly.

 

8. DO THINGS YOU ENJOY. Shop for antiques, volunteer, do crafts! I love doing these things and they really take the edge off every time I feel sad.

 

9. LISTEN TO MUSIC. Sad music, angry music, funny music, oldies...anything. When you listen to music, your mind is partially occupied...less space to think about the ex.

 

10. THROW EVERYTHING AWAY. Don't keep anything. After we broke up, I had to throw everything away because looking at all of his gifts made me extremely sad and I would start missing him. You don't want that torture, do you? It's over, why keep the old memories? It was good while it lasted, but these mementoes will only delay your recovery. Trust me, it's much easier to forget someone if you don't have anything of theirs in sight. I threw everything in the trashcan...CD, cards, stuffed animals, electronics, clothing, crafts, little momentous...I donated the ring he gave me because I figured, I can give it to charity and help other people. It brought me nothing but sadness anyway, there’s no point in keeping it.

 

Hope these 10 tips helped!!!

[pumpkinmoon]

wow. Well done for getting rid of everything, I have thought about it but think I might regret it if I do

[Brokenhearted87]

The stuff actually doesn't bother me at all! Is that weird?! I just realised tonight that I hadn't thought about it! I'm not going to throw it out, because,whatever he did to me, it's got sentimental value to me. Hope he kept mine, pretty sure he did. Told me the teddy I got him for his bday,given post break up, was on his bed.

[bobsiesprincess]

great post, i know i wlda loved to have read this when i was really broken hearted.

[tazthecat]

Thanks for another inspirational and positive post.