She's going home, how do I cope?

[phil1981UK]

Hi Guys,

 

I've posted a few requests about this girl Im seeing in the past, and I now have another one!

 

In a nutshell, Im in the UK, shes from Poland and been over here for 6 months. I've been seeing her for about 3 months. Shes going home on the 21st December, for good. Now Im certain were stay friends, as for anything else I dont know, neither does she, were both realistic about it and know friends is maybe all it can with the distance but theres hope.

 

Anyhow, I really like (love?) her and am gonna go nuts over christmas and after new year cos I wont be with her, any tips on coping with it?

 

An any tips on how we can possibly make it work being in different countries would be appreciated too! We could certainly see each other 6-8 times a year for a week, is that enough?

 

Thanks for any advice.

[lil_mamarains13]

Mainly all I can say is if it were meant to be it will. While she is away though you might want to keep yourself real busy so you don't think about her all the time. Not that you won't but it might help you from falling into a deep depression. Good Luck!

[The Morrigan]

As far as LDRs goes - a lot depends on trust, more trust, and your personalities. 6-8 times a year for a week is quite a lot compared to some, but it really depends on your communication between times, and if that's enough for both of you to keep the confidence and closeness going. It's a double edged sword - on the one hand, the dependence on talking and writing tends to give a depth as far as talking about yourself and your emotions that sometimes takes longer to grow when physical interaction tends to take precedence when you're "there," and leads to being able to talk about almost anything, even things that are difficult to break into face to face. On the other, it can be VERY hard for people who are reliant on touch and expression to feel as secure and wanted, and keep their emotions on the same level. Talk to each other about it, decide if it's worth trying and see if you're both comfortable relying on each other at a distance, this is one of those things that if you've never tried it, you can't know how you'll feel. One thing is certain - not right now, but if you DO go into one, be prepared to discuss how you'll be together eventually, even if you can't make firm plans, it helps to know you're on the same page and working together.

 

For the holidays - can you have a little private holiday together before she leaves? When the actual holidays are on you, get involved with friends and family and stay busy so when you do talk you can be upbeat and have things to talk about, and write her something special that won't be dismal Maybe handmake her a christmas ornament with a pic of the two of you, and write a little "thinking of you" letter or card of the things you're doing that you think she'd enjoy.

[Vash]

6-8 weeks out of 52 in a year. i would be deeply depressed i dont know what to say man just i hope you get through it 8)

[CanadianGirl]

6-8 weeks a year isn't as bad as it sounds. If this girl is special to you, and you MUTUALLY agree that the relationship is what you want...anything is possible.

 

I have been in my L.D relationship for 9 months. My boyfriend lives 1800Km (appox. 800 miles) away in California (USA) and I'm in Alberta(Canada).

 

We have only been able to spend a grand total of 6 weeks together. That's the equivilant of almost every weekend...as much as time as I'd spend with any other person I've dated (Every day isn't possible for me). We soak in our time together, and make it special every time. It's very hard .. but we are very much in love, and we have never met anyone like each other. We have a normal relationship like anyone else...up's and down's, good times and hard .. but our commitment and trust for each other grows beyond the distance. We talk everyday (*at least every 2nd)...we write, send pics and always talk of our next visits.

 

He plans to move to Canada in the New Year...and it really helps to have that goal to work towards. Eventually, you or your girl will have to make future plans, even if they are 3 years down the road. Because it really keeps me going knowing that this separation is not perminant.