the person you want to spend the rest of your life with

[greywolf]

How long does it take to know if you want to spend the rest of your life with a certain person? Is it different for each individual? Is 2 years long enough to know?

[Iwantittoend]

It's different for everyone. There isn't a certain point where this just clicks on in your head that you want to be with them forever.

[barbielovesmac]

Everyone and every relationship is different. I don't believe there is a "certain time" you should feel .... it's just something you know .... it's just something that happens .... not something you can put a time stamp on.

[melrich]

Personally I think 2 years is about right but some will know sooner.

[Portage]

I think 2 years, 2 days & 12 minutes should be most accurate.

 

Or anything over a year after spending quality time should suffice.

[anggrace]

I agree that it's definatly different for everyone. But I think, if after two years of being together Im still saying Im just not sure I don't think it's a good sign. If after a year of being together(and having gone through a lot) I feel strongly that he's it, Im going for it. Maybe Im a little eager?

[greywolf]

Thanks everyone. The thing is I've been with my gf for almost 2 years now, but it's a long-distance relationship. She said she couldn't stand the distance anymore and now I'm thinking about moving.

 

The thing is, she lives in another country. It's a very very big commitment. I feel like this is almost like marriage. I want to do it because I want to be with her, but I'm also scared things might not work out.

[anggrace]

Yeah, that can be scary, but there's only one way to find out if moving will work out or not. Sounds like you love her. If you would even consider marrying her, moving to be closer with her and spending more time with her is a good idea anyway.

[greywolf]

I really do love this girl. But she is also not sure if she wants me to move there. She feels scared that she's asking me to do such a big thing for her when she might mess up later on. She says that she doesn't want to make me go over there only to find out that she's not ready for such a big commitment.

Does that make sense? I can understand how she feels. But in the end isn't it my choice what I do with my life?

 

Honestly, I think she's just really scared. I am too.

[melrich]

Oh I think that is a completely different question then. How much time have you actually spent together?

[anggrace]

Yes it's definatly your choice whether or not you do it and hers if she's okay with it. It's a risk for sure. I would be a little hesitant being that she said she's afraid she might not be ready for the comitment. That's pretty straight forward. At the same time, if you are ever going to move forward, it will take finding out if you can spend more time together. Two years is quite a while to wait if you will be compatible in person.

[Whiplash Girl Child]

I think that a lot of us know much sooner than we think we do, but we don't recognize it because we are in denial, or are uncnsciously waiting for a sign that will tell us if he/she is THE ONE or not.

 

I knew that my ex was NOT THE ONE for a long time, but kept on waiting for a clear cut sign telling me whether he was THE ONE or not. One day, I guess, I woke up and realized that I'd never get any sort of a sign, and that if, after 6 years I am still unsure about whether I want to spend the rest of my life with him or not, then I have a problem. I left him and couldn't be happier with that decision.

[greywolf]

Oh I think that is a completely different question then. How much time have you actually spent together?

 

let's see. We were together for 3 months (and were kind of living together for those 3 months) before we were separated.

[melrich]

let's see. We were together for 3 months (and were kind of living together for those 3 months) before we were separated.

 

It's a big risk to move countries based on that. Whilst I have no doubt you love each other, I would have concerns about the implications if things don't work out and with so little actual time together, the risk must be higher than if you have been physically together for two years.

 

Also the fact that you are asking this question and have very nervous feelings about moving would make me think that perhaps you are not ready yet.

[Cassie]

Hi Greywolf, if you've only been together three months out of those two years, that is a very risky move. Something feels ... off. What does your girlfriend say she wants from the relationship right now?

[_Asti_]

It defenitely varies. It took a while for me to say to myself "I really can see myself with this guy.." and spend the following few years knowing I wanted to be, then we hit a rough patch and I questioned things, but now we're stronger than ever and now I know for sure, 4 years later that I for sure want to be with him. And who knows, it could change again. But deep down, things just click. I know it deep down, that no matter what, what we have, what we share, and what has been created...I can't deny that part of me always sorta knew.

[greywolf]

Hi Greywolf, if you've only been together three months out of those two years, that is a very risky move. Something feels ... off. What does your girlfriend say she wants from the relationship right now?

 

Well right now we are kinda not together anymore. It is very complicated. Officially, we have broken up. She said she just couldn't stand the distance anymore. But right now we are both thinking about me moving over there.

Right now I guess she wants me physically, but she is also scared that if I move over there for her and we don't work out that she doesn't want to feel like she's ruined my life.

[ghost69]

2 years is too long, IMO. I think two people would know before that.

 

wow. all i gotta say is wow.

 

when/where did you come up with that conclusion?