Is it my responsibility to keep the conversation going?

[kevinm]

So, just as the question asks above... is it my responsibility to keep the conversation going when talking to a woman?

 

Why is it so hard to have a decent back and forth conversation? Why do I feel like I'm responsible for entertaining the women I talk to? I can be very shy and reserved, and I can sit still and not say a whole lot. Much more of the quiet type of guy.

 

I can do email and IM like a pro, but when it comes down to someone I'm actually into I can't come up with the words.

 

Interestingly enough, I talk to people all day at work... but that's more of a routine, small talk, etc. I want to get down to the marrow in a conversation. Yet why is the weight all on my shoulders to do so?

 

-Kevin

[Batya33]

When I went on my 100 plus first meets if I was the least bit nervous I reminded myself that he was 50% responsible for keeping the conversation going. I never felt like it was the man's obligation. Keep at it - you're just meeting people you don't click with for now but that will change!

[Portage]

Exactly what Batya just said above. It is 50 percent. I also think when you find the right partner it just flows, but if it doesn't, you have that comfort level to not care.

 

Of course then i'm talking about a relationship where you aren't meeting others....i miss that comfort level with my ex, but not the rest of it.

[kevinm]

Okay, yeah... I understand where you guys are coming from. Maybe the women I meet are boring, or maybe I'm boring, lol. I guess it's just that face to face aspect I have the problem with. When I email with someone I always try to read beyond what is simply said. If someone mentions a place they have been while talking about something else I try to pick up on that and run with that topic. Say for example they say, "Yeah, I've pizza there, but it's nothing like pizza in NY."

 

I take a sentence like that and go from talking about food and start talking about NY. Problem is I can't seem to do this in person. Maybe I just stress out too much.

 

-Kevin

[Portage]

Nerves. Plain and simple. Your situation is much more common than not. It sounds like you get the 'caught like a deer in the headlights syndrome' - I either clam up or babble like a retarded baboon in a new dating situation.

 

Shrugs. i guess if you acknowledge the problem and have convo tips saved up beforehand it just takes repitition.

 

If i figure it out myself i'll let you know

[lillie]

I cant help but talk. I like talking & im good at it! Probably comes from working with the public..

[civilservant]

I can sit there for hours and listen to someone whos company I find enjoyable, but equally I can talk for hours. I agree that for all relationsships they have to be on a similar level to me (intellectualy) and for that they have to talk to me!

[midnightrambler]

I cant help but talk. I like talking & im good at it! Probably comes from working with the public..

 

i like to listen... comes from my sensitive nature

[lillie]

i like to listen... comes from my sensitive nature

 

I thought you preferred to read?

 

It can be fun so i have been told..

[midnightrambler]

I thought you preferred to read?

 

It can be fun so i have been told..

 

i hate typing....I would prefer to be on a park bench or a picnic area and listen to the interesting lives that other people live

[lillie]

i hate typing....I would prefer to be on a park bench or a picnic area and listen to the interesting lives that other people live

 

If you have a park bench i have a picnic basket...we could talk till the moon comes out.

[midnightrambler]

If you have a park bench i have a picnic basket...we could talk till the moon comes out.

 

parks close after dark...will need to take the conversation home, and i will continue to listen, asking thought provoking questions at key moments

[civilservant]

I'm going to be sick

 

 

[lillie]

parks close after dark...will need to take the conversation home, and i will continue to listen, asking thought provoking questions at key moments

 

Its ok,im very nocturnal! And interesting..a good mix of characteristics if i ever saw some!

[midnightrambler]

Its ok,im very nocturnal! And interesting..a good mix of characteristics if i ever saw some!

 

i try to help the posters here as much as possible....it is no one's responsiblilty to keep up conversation...it should be a labor of love...like a TV talk show

[lillie]

i try to help the posters here as much as possible....it is no one's responsiblilty to keep up conversation...it should be a labor of love...like a TV talk show

 

And a pleasure

[lillie]

I'm going to be sick

 

 

Haaaaa

 

Yes i think it only proper we stick to the topic...What was that again???

[midnightrambler]

And a pleasure

 

getting to know people is great entertainment and costs nothing

[lillie]

getting to know people is great entertainment and costs nothing

 

Is that from Doctor Tramplers book of quotes???

 

Never a truer word said...

 

I can tell you are good,at conversation!lol

[midnightrambler]

Is that from Doctor Tramplers book of quotes???

 

Never a truer word said...

 

I can tell you are good,at conversation!lol

 

 

 

I test the waters and then jump in...

[lillie]

I test the waters and then jump in...

 

Indeed. This is why i nicknamed you Trampler!! Because you trample on in there,in the nicest possible way & offer up your wisdom..

[midnightrambler]

I hate to walk away from an interesting conversation, especially on a date

[JadedStar]

I hate to walk away from an interesting conversation, especially on a date

 

Or on Kevin's thread. LMAO.

[midnightrambler]

Or on Kevin's thread. LMAO.

 

ha ha.....room for a third

[knightNshiningarmor]

personally i like controlling the frame of convo..so i dont mind if a women leaves it up to me...means i get to talk about what i want to talk about....that being said...a girl who challenges me as far as frame control...now thats hot...