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Harassment :(


TAB1234

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I was "dumped" in a similar manner (he had already done it once a week before in an argument, the second time I called his bluff). If you dumped her in such a cruel, insensitive manner, it is HER RIGHT to choose not to speak to you ever again. Hate to be blunt, but it's true. I've been on the recieving end of it, and you have NO idea how incredibly painful it is. Continuing to contact her is disrespectful of her and of the damage you have caused... you made your bed, now lie in it.

 

I had to change my phone number to keep my ex from contacting me, it was just too painful. I know this is difficult for you to understand, but you are only making it worse by trying to "reconcile" with her.

 

I don't mean to sound so terse, but it is my pain from having been in that situation that makes me take this point of view.

 

Just leave her alone.

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The point is that you are not guilty until proven guilty, but everyone has a right to file a police report. The police investigate, and if it turns out to be nothing, end of story.

 

I'm astounded by some of the female responses in this thread, but the above really takes the cake.

 

Filing a complaint (a police report is what happens -after- the complaint) against someone is an extremely serious matter, not to be taken lightly, yet I fear many women consider it as a casually resorted to tool to allay hurt feelings in a breakup. It is not something you do if an ex attempts a few contacts, and certainly not something you do without stating clearly to the ex that if they contact again, you will talk to the police.

 

The statement "the police investigate, and if it turns out to be nothing, end of story." is one of the most naive statements I've ever seen on ENA. Making a complaint against someone frivolously is a crime in itself, a much greater one than anything the OP has done. Yet it is a crime that goes unpunished generally because it's so hard to prove, and the innocent party is afraid and embarrassed to try.

 

Having a frivolous complaint filed can cause any number of problems for the innocent party. First, you become added to the local "suspect" pool, and may become subject to investigation for other crimes in the area.

 

Second, in a perfect world, the police would be impartial enforcers of law and order, but the world we live in is far from perfect. In many areas, especially rural low crime areas, having a frivolous complaint filed can get you surveilled in your home, followed unlawfully, harassed for real by ignorant local yokel cops. Moreover, if the person filed against has any negative history with the police, a pedestrian under the influence, a disturbing the peace, etc., the unwarranted attention can be amplified to very uncomfortable scary levels.

 

Also, for the next several years, if any accidents, pet loss, vandalism, etc. befall the family of the person who made the frivolous complaint, guess whose door the police will be knocking on first? Imagine neighborhood kids roll the exes yard, guess who the prime suspect is...

 

Finally, and most importantly, burdened by frivolous complaints, the police department expends community resources, and investigating frivolous complaints detracts from legitimate public concerns, legitimate stalkings, legitimate domestic abuse.

 

OP, sorry to be so scary, most local police can spot a frivolous complaint a mile away, so you probably have nothing to worry about, just mind your Ps and Qs in the community for the next few years and you might not go awry of big brother. If you have access to a family lawyer or can afford one otherwise, please consider seeking some preliminary legal advice. This can be documented and used later as evidence if needed. If she ever contacts you for anything going forward, keep careful phone records and time of the incoming contact, as this can be used as evidence also. It may seem innocuous, but she has put you in a position where you must consider some simple CYA.

 

You did nothing whatsoever wrong, did not deserve her vindictive over the top response, and she has shown herself to be the kind of person you really don't want to be involved with down the road. Imagine married life with this person in which she would probably pick up the phone and bring the police into the mildest domestic arguments. You dodged a real bullet getting away from this one... Best wishes.

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she was the one who wasn't communicating with me and ignored me. I sent the text and then explained that she had cut me off by not talking to me for a whole week etc... i know it was wrong but i basically did it to get a reaction and was hurt at being ignored for a week. I contacted her less than 24 hrs later and she ok was still angry and hung up and when i tried again a couple of days later she was still cursing so there you go.

 

People do say things when they're upset/angry, it's how they resolve them afterwards that counts. I can never be rude to someone over a long period of time. In the time we were together i never cursed her and this was our FIRST fight!!! Anyway gone past caring.

 

As far as going to the police without a warning (and on the basis of me calling her a few times on ONE day and sending 4 texts on ONE DAY, that shows the person i was dealing with. If one has any feeling for someone they don't react like that. Anyway it wasnt the closure i wanted but at least i got it and now i will do nothing. Her father has just passed away and i would (even after all thats happened) like to pay my condolences but i have finally realised i'm also 'dead' in her eyes so will act that way.

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