Coleen Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 Hey everybody!! How do you react to guys staring? So, I haven't posted in a while. I've been pretty busy figuring out things: mostly stuff about me and guys, and where I stand in relation to dating arena. Well, something has cleared up since then, but I'm still working on it. My question is, as you've read above, related to guys staring at me. I've recently decided, out of anger, that I don't want to get into a romantic relationship. I guess my behaviour changed around guys, maybe toward more confident, more open, where I can actually show my personality. And, just as it goes, obviously, when you "don't need" them, they show up. Suddenly there are 3 guys that I've noticed that stared (not just once) at me this week. Of course, all at different classes and all at different times. But, What do I do? Of course I notice, with my side vision (is this the word?? ) that they stare, sometimes I turn just to make sure I'm not imagining stuff. But I don't know how to react? One guy stared at me even before, but by circumstances i'm not going to talk about I assume he's gay. So I don't pay too much attention to it and I don't return his stares. I kind of just decided to ignore the stares I get for now. Should I react to them if I want them to stop? Like a guy today who sits in front of me on the lecture just kind of half turned his chair and was staring at me when he thought I wasn't looking. It is nice from beginning but I wouldn't want that to continue. The third guy really interests me, but I 'm not sure what to do there. I've been getting more attention from him recently, and I'm really happy about. Today at lecture he looked at me intensely once, so I'm not freaking out about it (yet, lol) Today we actually were walking together in the same direction for about 5 minutes and we talked a lot ( as much as you can in 5 minutes, anyway), and plus we talked before the class (he's in my group that we're doing projects together with). So I don't know what to do!!!! I don't want to go back to my previous state, and be kind of needy and boring and afraid. Any help is really appreciated! Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 If they do it again, lock eyes, smile, and look down while smiling. Wait ten seconds, then look back. If he is still looking, you got him hooked. Link to comment
Coleen Posted April 23, 2008 Author Share Posted April 23, 2008 Hey debaser wolf! 10 seconds? isn't it a bit long? I would consider it a bit stalkerish I'll try it with the guy I like though, if he stares at me again. But I am pretty sure that he won't stare for so long in class. And plus I don't think I'm so attractive that the guys have their jaws on the floor. Anyway, that's something to try, thanks )) Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 look back and smile. keep doing that. Link to comment
Coleen Posted April 24, 2008 Author Share Posted April 24, 2008 ^^ Ghost, thanks for posting! Well, I decided to follow your "look back and smile" tactics today, but he wasn't staring, just glanced at me a couple of times. But for some reason I feel that I'm coming on too strong, or rather seem desperate with this tactics anyway. So for now, I'm going to maintain the friendship status but from time to time throw in some romantic material. Yeah, takin' it slow, 5 miles an hour... I was just wondering if he is simply being nice. What would be the signs that he is? I mean he seems like he's a friendly person in general. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 there are no for sure signs. but if he asks about your 'bf' status or how your weekend went and makes pretty consttant eye contact, i'd say so. and i don't think you are coming on too strong unless you are looking back all the time. Link to comment
caligirl26 Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 there are no for sure signs. but if he asks about your 'bf' status or how your weekend went and makes pretty consttant eye contact, i'd say so. and i don't think you are coming on too strong unless you are looking back all the time. the guy that i had a huge crush on did all those things. asked about my weekend, pretty constant eye contact, infact there were times were we would lock eyes and just stare at each other, he'd make fun of guys that he thought I liked and stuff like that... and now he is dating someone else. and feels the need to tell me about it. fun times. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 the guy that i had a huge crush on did all those things. asked about my weekend, pretty constant eye contact, infact there were times were we would lock eyes and just stare at each other, he'd make fun of guys that he thought I liked and stuff like that... and now he is dating someone else. and feels the need to tell me about it. fun times. did u flirt back or just give curt answers to his questions? Link to comment
caligirl26 Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 did u flirt back or just give curt answers to his questions? i flirted a lot. always compilmented him and was pretty obvious that i liked him, and thought he felt the same. but i guess not. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 i flirted a lot. always compilmented him and was pretty obvious that i liked him, and thought he felt the same. but i guess not. sucks. but hey, now you know and can move on. Link to comment
Coleen Posted April 27, 2008 Author Share Posted April 27, 2008 and i don't think you are coming on too strong unless you are looking back all the time. Well, if looking back every other minute is often... JK )) I'll look out for the bf status questions and stuff, but for now I'm gonna keep it cool and not sweat it. I have actually decided that I'm going to give him some kind of way to contact me after the course is over. I figured that it can't hurt, plus if he's attracted to me, he'd call me up or something, right? Hopefully! Caligirl26 thanks for response! It sucks that you're stuck in this situation! I guess I can learn from this, and remember once again to take it slow. I know how I am prone to taking things and exaggerating, so not getting my hopes up is really important for me. I hope your crush on this guy will soon pass, and you'll move on to more exciting stuff! Link to comment
Coleen Posted April 30, 2008 Author Share Posted April 30, 2008 just thought i'd post an update. as it turns out this guy has a girlfriend. they have just moved in together. i mean i'm happy for him, but i'm disappointed (( I just feel that i want to give up on all the men. it never goes past the first stage. why? it is so difficult to understand you guys!!! I've had relationships with people of the same gender as me, and it was great. but i am no longer attracted to that idea. "I long for a grapefruit...or something" I just always feel as if I'm left out of it. I'm so down now. I know I can sustain a relationship. I'm an intelectual person, I am beautiful, I have a unique personality, I'm fit, i am into culture, i am rational, I have a good sense of humor, i can be bashful at times. I know I am all those things and more. But it seems like nobody i like wants to know it. I don't advertise it, and i hate putting myself out on the plate, I think it's demeaning. I just don't know what to do... Link to comment
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