Alcohol induced

[Gracelove]

how do you figure out what you really feel when all you think of is what you "should" feel?

 

It takes time. It's really hard to deal with something like this.

 

I mean, at first you find a role, and you try to play it. Whether the role is "I'm a strong independent woman, and nothing can get to me"

or

"This isn't that bad, and I'm going to act that way"........

 

At first you are going to be extremely confused, which is the way you seem now. You are probably in shock.

 

You may be a wreck for a while.

 

That's where a good therapist can really help. Someone who has helped lots of rape victims before.

 

My therapist made a safe environment for me, and I think that's what you need.

 

Nothing I did surprised her because she had dealt with it all before.

 

Sometimes I would just sit in that chair and shake and cry. And she wouldn't look at me like I was weird or anything, she was really compassionate.

 

There are really great therapist out there, and I think you should see one.

 

You can talk to people via the rape crisis hotline (RAINN). They were so helpful to me.

 

Only once did I get someone who was unkind. So if you happen to get someone like that, just call back and get someone else.

 

Emotions and feelings can be really hard to deal with.

 

Until my rape, I always felt in control of them. And afterwards, I felt they controlled me.

 

I don't know what to tell you when it comes to that. You just have to ride it through unfortunately.

 

Um, medicine might help also.

 

I couldn't sleep for a long time.

 

You may have Post Traumatic Stress disorder, that what I have as a result of what happened.

Depression and anxiety disorder could be affecting you also.

 

And you'll need support.

 

Because I think your boyfriend set you up. And if he did....at one point, everything is going to come together....and when you realize that someone close to you could do something like that to you.....you'll lose it a bit. That's a large pill to swallow.

And I'm afraid for you.

 

I'm afraid for you, because I had such a rough time, and it was soooo hard for me to make it from day to day. And I had support you know?

 

That's why I say you need support. It's a survival tool.

 

And you'll get to a point where all you want it answers. You want someone to tell you what you need to do to get out of your personal hell. And you'll be willing to do anything. But it doesn't work that way.

 

It's hard to think sometimes, after stuff like this happens. I don't think there is any particular way that you should feel.

 

How do you think you should feel?

 

Did someone tell you, you are supposed to feel a certain way?

 

P.S.

 

You should listen to yourself, to what your mind is telling you. If you never wanted to sleep with your boyfriend's best friend. I Seriously doubt you had a change of heart.

 

Didn't you say you threw up? Nausea can result from the drugs. How were you the day after? Were you really cold? Did you sleep a lot?

[sourpeach]

nausea also VERY OFTEN results from too much alcohol as well...

 

as for her childhood.. if it was sex with someone over the age of.. 9 or 10, then she does need therapy, becayse that was abuse. if it was sex with another 6 or 7 year old.. that was just 2 very curious or even horny children. maybe something happened before that to make her so willing to want to experiment like that at such a young age.

 

as for childhood masturbating.. i started that VERY VERY young. my cousin had a hot box and i found the porn channels one day and saw some women doing it.. so i tried it too. that was when i discovered my vagina so to speak. figured out all the parts and whatnot, what felt good. i didnt know it was a sexual thing, i just knew my body felt good from doing it.

[JadedStar]

I agree. If one is blinded by alcohol the next morning I assume they will be puking their guts out.