Clementine orange Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 How do I de-clingify my g/f. It's starting to make me crazy. The phone calls, txts, emails etc. I know this may sound like some guy's dream but this woman is crazy about me - I mean, I like her but it doesn't seem to match her enthusiasm for me. Apparently I'm her dream guy and I walk on water and all that business. She wants to see me ALL THE TIME!!!! I need my life! I'm sure that this will dissipate over time but right now it's a little annoying. I'm just a regular guy for pete's sake, not her knight in shining armor! When we are together she is constantly touching me, asking for hugs, kisses etc - very, very needy. Sleeping together is hard too as she hugs me all night long with a death grip! We've been together about 3 weeks. I think I need to break up with her. Am I mean? I need more space, I feel totally crowded here. It's sort of flattering but also sort of creepy. Oh man!!!!! My previous g/f was annoyingly aloof and distant. Why can't I get this right? Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Have a talk with her and let her know that you are feeling smothered. Everyone in a relationship needs alone time and space to breathe. If she cannot understand that then maybe it would be good to move on. If I were you I'd have the talk first, and if it would not improve I'd move on. Maybe she thinks this is the norm for relationships? Maybe she had a very needy BF before you that was possessive and wanted her to check in with phone calls and wanted to be with her all of the time so she thinks you might want the same? -Try to get her reasoning behind this behavior. BellaDonna Link to comment
enchiladaman Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Well to be fair, it has been only 3 weeks. She could just be in a state of complete infatuation. It's also, thankfully, early enough into the relationship that you can start to set the pace a little slower, gradually without killing that initial high. I would definitely be, like you, cautious. This clingyness starts turning into controlling behavior and that's when the real fun begins (sarcasm). It sucks to have to start making excuses as to why you can't hang out with her. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 she's obsessed man. that's too much too early. you need to tell her you need space. be honest. Link to comment
Excalibur Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 You're with an insecure girl that hates herself unless someone else is pawing her, with her, and patting her head. This won't improve, it'll get worse. Link to comment
RayKay Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 You are kidding yourself if you think this will dissipate over time! Generally people this clingy early on only will get worse....and it will feel even more pressuring. We all need some independent space (at least those of us whom have a healthier attitude towards relationships and our personal lives) and there is nothing wrong with wanting that space for yourself. It's one thing to be affectionate, but another to be smothering....and yes, it is creepy if she thinks a guy she has known a few weeks "walks on water" - sounds more like someone with a lot of insecurities and a need to have "someone" than someone ready for a stable EQUAL relationship. Link to comment
darkpumpkin Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Yeah agreed. That's a bit much for 3 weeks, even if I was head over heels thinking someone was the second coming I wouldn't act this clingy. Link to comment
Excalibur Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 When you meet and someone says "oh my God, you're da bomb, you're so all that, you're the most wonderful person I ever met, you're so right, you're so great, I can't imagine everybody doesn't fall at your feet worshipping you"....all they're saying is... I'm a failure, I'm a loser, I'm a nobody, I can't stand living my life and anybody that pays me any attention is God - and I am here to serve. So they're not into who you are as a person of character and intelligence, they're simply into having more to do than twiddle their thumbs and pee - waiting for a phone call. So you're better than sitting on the pot all day, twiddling thumbs, and waiting for a call - but that's it. If their life was successful, great, secure, applauded, and heralded publicly as a success and after a long period of time the're telling you that you're someone they admire and desire THEN they're saying something. Link to comment
MyNinja Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Yes, this girl sounds really insecure and obsessed. I think it would be wise to talk to her now while the relationship is still "fresh", but honestly I don't think this will last too long considering how she's buggin' you now! I wonder how many past relationships she's had and how long they lasted... Link to comment
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