Dagless Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 I need to get out of here Too many years of loneliness and fear I feeling my soul growing stale Try to kick start the thoughts but the sentiments just fail You and I together, we were going to get ourselves free Until a twist of fate took away that destiny I can’t go back to how I lived before Too many tears and nights on the floor It’s like something weighing heavy on the soul I’m like a rock that can’t roll I don’t want to stand still, I can feel the moss grow But God help me I’ve got no where to go You where the key to these chains I know you’re gone but the feeling still remains To fly free with you What am I to be without you? Our love was going to set us free Now that you’re gone am I to be alone for an eternity? Link to comment
Portage Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 awwwww, totally heart breaking. Thx for sharing these words. Beautifully done. Time is our friend in this scenario Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 "I'm like a rock that can't roll" -- ding, ding, ding!!! I love that!!!! The whole thing just holds together so welll, your rhymes are so, so good. But each line says something special too. Well done again, my friend; the poignant questions are all here. Link to comment
Dagless Posted March 24, 2008 Author Share Posted March 24, 2008 I nearly didn't put the Rock n Roll line in because I thought it sounded a little cheesy but I don't think the "I can feel the moss grow" line would make sense without it so it stayed. I think this is my least favourite of the poems I've posted, I don't know it feels kind of clunky. Edit: Reading it back now, it actually works better than I thought. Link to comment
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