husband contacted exgirlfriend

[brownhornetfan]

Preface: my husband and I have a rocky relationship as it is. we have been separated for 8 months and just now are trying to reconcile (the past 3 months). also, when we were separated he told me that this woman (when he was 14 was his one true love besides me)

Problem: he is a musician and has been on the road for 2 months. He had signed up for that classmates website. and i made the comment of was he going to try and find this girl. he hoed and hawed and said no. he gave me his password to his email (don't know why) so i was curious so after about 3 weeks i decided to check it. and lo and behold was an email from this woman that he dated when he was 14 (his other true love) it was obviously an email in response to one he sent her. here is the catch: together they got pregnant and had to get an abortion. and apparently they never spoke about it now 13 years later he wanted to talk about it. he says he has never gotten over it but he is not trying to rekindle a relationship. he wants to bring closure to the issue. i want to believe him. but, they are emailing each other all the time now while he is on the road and now he has given her his phone number to his cell. i feel betrayed and i want him to bring closure to it, but where do you draw the line? when do i stand up and say okay enough if enough. especially considering that our relationship now is not real secure and stable. i feel insecure but don't want to be selfish. help

[kamurj]

Abortion can be a very traumatic experience for all parties involved, even if it is the right decision. My advice to you is to be as supportive of your husband as you possible can be. If you do not provide him with the support he needs right now, he may come resent you for that, and perhaps seek it elsewhere.

[kamurj]

Your husband doesnt give a damn about a stupid abortion. He just wants to stick in his ex-girlfriends mouth. He's bored with you, and you're too stupid to know it!

[knightbear]

set yourself free

[sweet]

I was told off by my husband for emailing an exlover recently. I did need to go back to that relationship and deal with some things about it...but the problem is, once I got online with that man, I wanted him again, and it made me see my marriage very differently, and I thought about having an affair with him. I got right to the edge of infidelity. At one point my husband told me he didn't like seeing me close out all my files when he entered the room and that he felt I was hiding something from him. It's true - I was hiding my unhappiness about our marriage. We then had a lot of hard conversations and I have had to see myself in a very unflattering light and him too. However, I am beginning to change the way I relate to him and things are getting better. I feel bad about my ex, that I led him down the path a bit, but I trust he will recover. I think you should confront your husband, and tell him that you can't live with him having an ongoing relationship with his exgirlfriend, and ask him directly, what do you get from talking to her that you don't get from me? I was *desperate* for my husband to ask me something like this but he never did. It is so disappointing when your mate observes you on the path to cheating, and doesn't try to find out why. Just gets mad. So you, go ahead and ask. Don't get mad, find out why, and be prepared to change yourself, because my husband and I both are having to change. Hope this helps.