nhenzie Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 so for a bit of a background on my situation. For the last 3-4 weeks I've been getting trained for a new job, it's on-site training so there's a guaranteed job afterward...anyway; there's this girl in my class who I've had my eye on for a while now but because i'm really shy I've never really done anything apart from flirt. So one night she invites me and a couple other guys to go out drinking with her and some of her friends. fast forward to the night, I end up getting there kinda late and she's already really drunk, so of course i do my best to catch up yadda yadda yadda we end up making out for like 20 minutes, while in the club, she keeps teling me she's been wanting to do this for a while and really glad we were. but then she starts saying i shouldn't tell anyone about it. Now I'm not sure if she's saying this so we don't get into trouble at work or because she's embarrassed..... come Monday I have no idea how I'm going to act towards her.....I don't know if she just wants to make it a one time fun night thing or develop it into a relationship....either way wouldn't matter to me I mean i'd love to start dating her but if she just wants to be friends, it's better then noting at all.....I'd feel weird just asking her straight up whether she wants a relationship or not. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 No need to ask her if she wants a relationship. Just ask her out on a date and avoid the hang out/drunk hook ups because that's not the best way to start dating someone. Link to comment
daredevil Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Don't be to direct because a lot of girls and of course men sees this as a rude behaviour or how should I put it "too direct", just let things develop and show her you want more by inviting her out or say you would like to see again not drunk or something. Link to comment
nhenzie Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 i don't know how to act at work though, should i just act like nothing happened? I feel sick i'm so nervous what's the policy on weekday dates...are they a done thing or should i maybe ask her out for next weekend? Link to comment
MushroomGod Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Ask her out for Thursday. Don't be nervous you already made out with her. If thats not a invite saying "I want you" I don't know what is. I'd ask her out for Monday night but thats me. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Ask her out for Thursday. Don't be nervous you already made out with her. If thats not a invite saying "I want you" I don't know what is. I'd ask her out for Monday night but thats me. I've kissed guys in my lifetime who I had no interest in dating or being in a relationship with and I am sure I've been kissed by guys who felt the same. I think it's fine to ask her out for a weekday date in advance - at least three days in advance. Link to comment
nhenzie Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 i think what i'm gonna do is ask her out for thursday...only thing is i just moved ot the city and don't really know any good places....should i ask her if she knows anywhere good? or maybe just search around on the internet for places in the area? Link to comment
stella74 Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 ^ I think both ideas are good. I'd be flattered if a guy asked me out and asked if I knew a good place if he was new to the city. I also think it would show your confidence and resourcefulness to search online for a good place. Either way, you can't go wrong. You could also ask friends or co-workers for good places to take a date. Good luck! Link to comment
nhenzie Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 just one more quick thing is it taboo to take a cab out to dinner. my car is a little embarrassing and I mean she's seen it so i don't care too much about the appearance but there's no music in the car(stereo's broken) so I'm afraid if i drive we'll use up all our conversation in the car and have nothing to talk about while at dinner. that's one of the things i worry about most, it's gonna be hard enough finding things to talk about anyway cause we work together and talk all day. any conversation topic suggestions? Link to comment
MushroomGod Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Don't worry about your car I think she likes you so it shouldn't matter. You're analyzing this way too much, be confident. As for conversation talk about anything, it doesn't matter either just let the convo flow. I don't know the drinking laws in Canada but if you can take her out for some it might loosen you up. Link to comment
MushroomGod Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 I've kissed guys in my lifetime who I had no interest in dating or being in a relationship with and I am sure I've been kissed by guys who felt the same. Yea but did you do it for 20 min. and say that you wanted to do it for awhile and was glad it was happening? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 I am sure that I have kissed guys and vice versa where sweet nothings were whispered and minds were changed - both or one of us - the next day. It happens and there's nothing "wrong" with it - it's disappointing but especially early on in dating that can happen. If the man was drunk (I've never been drunk) then I took it with a huge grain of salt. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 you are starting a new job. so it is not guaranteed as you say. depends how your new job HR looks at work romances. be weary of that. Link to comment
nhenzie Posted February 26, 2008 Author Share Posted February 26, 2008 so at work today she said she had nothing to do after work so i asked if she wanted to hang out so i told her i'd call her after work. I've tried calling her but didn't get an answer....I'm hoping she just has her phone on silent or something. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Did she say she did want to hang out? Not clear. If a guy asked me to hang out last minute I wouldn't consider it to be a date (but I would treat it as a plan and let him know if I could not make it) Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 i hope you only called once. Link to comment
nhenzie Posted February 27, 2008 Author Share Posted February 27, 2008 yeah i only called once, didn't wanna look needy lol. she ended up texting me later on and we went out for a couple drinks. it was really good. so I asked her out for thursday I haven't picked a spot yet but i'm gonna look up a few places tonight and see what she says at work cause i'm entirely sure what kinda food she does and doesn't like. (sorry bout this haha, i know it's not a journal but i thought i keep you guys updated and I'm really excited it's my first date in like a year and a half) Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 sounds good. nice work. Link to comment
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