my boyfriend is too close to his family??

[Dollr]

well it's not that anything is wrong with that and he is a real mama's boy but again lots of guys are... well here is a little bit of our background... we are an inter-racial couple and i'm 5years older than he is. We have been in the relationship for the past 2years and have lived together for about a year now. About 6months after we started our relationship, he asked me to meet his mother (he said he wanted to let his mother know how happy he was with me) so i did even thou i was not that willing, then later met his father then his brother then his sister then his another brother. So basiaclly i met everbody in his family. They are all really nice giving lots of gifts and all that even thou we can't communicate with each other much cuz they are not that fluent in English. But the thing is that i am not used to be in this type of relationship where i am close to my boyfriend's family and so after i met each one of his family, i stopped doing that cuz i was feeling really uncomfortable and nervous whenever i was with them. I just wanted to have a little distance b/w me and them. A couple of weeks ago, we decided to go see a standup comedy together and i just mentioned to him that we should invite his cousin and his girlfriend thinking that he has not seen his cousin who he says is his bestfriend for a long time and that they once invited us to the dinner which we didnt somehow make it. So i thought it's a good opportunity to get together but he completely ignored my idea by saying that he wants to invite his sister. Of course i didnt say NO but i said okay then asked him to invite her boyfrined too but he said he thinks her boyfriend must be busy. The next thing i knew was that he bought 3 tickets. He didnt even ask her boyfriend or his cousin. Then he started saying to me that on that day, he wants us to go see his mother and eat there and go to a museum before we go to the theater to see the show. hun i said to him i dont think i want to do that cuz that is just too much for me but now he is completely upset with me and not talked to me since. The show is in 2 days. i dont feel like going to the show like this. But why am i being punished by being honest? There is nothing wrong with his family. They are very nice people but i am not just ready for this type of thing yet. I met everybody in his family once and that was really enogh for me for now so i didnt go for the plan he came up this time. Did i do something wrong? And why he doesnt want to include sister's boyfriend or cousin or??? i mean.... why?? i know this (what i call) problem sounds really small thing but when it involoves his family especially his mother, he becomes completely different to the point where i have no understanding. .... anybody???

[Maverick44]

Hey,

 

Well, just wanted to say that be careful when dealing with the family. If he feels you don't get along with his family, it might be enough to put things on the path to ending things.

 

I only speak from this perspective because I dated a chinese girl who was really close to her family for 9 months. When this girl felt that she and I could be married, she started mentioning me to her Mom. Her mom wasn't too happy and eventually things fell apart even though this girl truly loved me.

 

So, again, I say that it all depends on what you can deal with. If you don't feel you can deal with him being that close to his family, it could cause disruptions in the future. When will you be able to be comfortable with his family?

 

Hope this helps!

 

Maverick