Do girls like shy guys or outgoing guys?

[BigSyke]

Actually I would say it doesn't matter. If you can hold a conversation. I've seen shy guys pull numbers all day long while the outgoing guys get shot down, all day long.

 

In fact I was talking to a girl tonight who I thought was very attractive. After we got done talking She walked directly over to this kid who never talked to anyone, and asked him out on a date. I was the guy who got to hear to good news.

 

I'm very outgoing, in sales...I can sell my self on a dime. I have a wonderful bachelor pad, and more cars than my family tree. However this hasn't gotten me a date in years.

[Offspring27]

I like this thread, and there seems to be a 50/50 split, and many different definitions of shy and outgoing. I've just found some statements interesting so I thought I'd bring them up:

Almost no women I've met like shy, timid, nervous men. Okay, none... save maybe two. No wait, one. The rest all go for the extraverted, outgoing, domineering macho guy with the 18 inch arms and linebacker shoulders. 'Tis true, you know.

 

Yes, and they are also the girls complaining about being played, and how all guys are a-holes.

 

I like guys who can be unwrapped like presents.

 

These guys seem shy or aloof or a little introverted at first, but if you poke a bit, you soon see that a sense of humor lives underneath. After awhile they relax and warm up and let their personality unfurl.

 

That pretty much sums up me. I'm shy at first, but once I get used to you, I've been told at least, that I'm really funny and sweet.

 

Well I personally like shy guys. I don't know why I just do. I think it's nice when they build up the courage just to ask you out. I am not saying that I like to see them go through all that because I am shy i'm just saying it's nice.

 

Haha, you have no idea how much courage it takes a shy guy to do that. Must be nice being an outgoing guy who can do that without even thinking about it, and no, didn't call you a guy, just rambling

 

I think a lot of girls confuse being shy with being a pushover. That's not always the case. I'm a quiet guy, but I don't let people run over me.

 

I agree completely! I'm shy, but I also work out and such so people can't run over me. I also think it is wrong to call shy people weak. Shy guys have problems talking to people for their own reasons, some they can't control, so that doesn't make them any less of a man.

[Offspring27]

Also, don't get to interested or infatuated with any woman because that will make you freeze up.

 

So true, I have this problem a lot. You can't be all head over heels for a girl because it just makes it way harder to talk to her, and what if she gets taken before you can do something? Then it's just 10 times worse.

 

she came to me and said she wanted to tell me something, we went to a quite place, and then she asked me "Can I kiss you?".

 

Haha, if my crush did that, I'd probably faint. Then wake up and be like yes!! XD

 

By being shy and avoiding contact with others, you are not sharing yourself. You are being SELFISH.

 

Dude, just no. I'm shy as hell, but I'm the most selfless person ever. If somebody ever needs help I'm there. I just love helping people, and if I help somebody or make just one person a bit happier today, then I've feel like I've done something. Calling shy people selfish is just sick. Hell, half of the shy guys, don't even want to be shy. So no.

It means your socially akward and you project that awkwardness onto other people...and who the hell wants to feel like that?

 

Who wants some cocky jerk that won't shut up? Girls like guys who listen, and us shy guys specialize at that. Being shy doesn't mean you're awkward, it just means you have a harder time socializing. And what happens when a shy guy actually opens up? Then you got a socializer who isn't a cocky jerk, and listens to his girl, now that's what I call a hybrid. ;P

[Offspring27]

And usually, you don't have to worry about a shy guy flirting with other girls.

 

Haha, so true. One of the best things about shy guys: If we can barely get the courage to talk to you, how the hell could we ever cheat on you? Have you ever heard of a shy player? Nope, because since it was so hard to actually get you, we appreciate you more than anything, so cheating is never even thought of for one second.

 

I'd say the majority of the people reading these things are more shy than outgoing.

 

Actually, a lot of the girls who answered said that they themselves were outgoing, yet they like shy guys. ;P

 

It seems like most girls in my school seem to prefer the out-going type,

which I never really understood, because pretty much everyone of the

out-going types are assholes who are completely, umm..."assholic", haha, to everyone else and it sorta saddens me to see that they are the ones that are getting all of it.

 

I know, right? And then they complain how they got dumped, and played. Unfortunately, nice shy guys go unnoticed throughout high and middle school, but I've noticed more girls finally smarten up in college and actually notice the shy guys, and are like "Hey, you're not a cocky a-hole who's just gunna date me for sex, where were you all this time?" Haha, maybe not that extreme, but me being shy, I've noticed more girls have been talking to me.

 

so I don't see why a girl would pick an outgoing jerk over a quiet, shy kind guy. I dunno...girls are strange.

 

Lol, yup they are, they'll wise up eventually

[Offspring27]

Shy people tend to be more loyal and in my opinion, that takes more courage than someone who constantly has the ability to approach many women.

 

Damn straight, like I said before, shy guys are loyal as hell. To their friends too, because it's likely that they don't have a lot, but for the few they do have, they'd back them up no matter what. Or at least, that's how I am. I only have a few close friends, so I'd back them up no matter what, and even die for them without hesitation.

Which is why so many people are single.

 

I don't agree with you either. Besides, what's better: being single or being in a bad relationship where you have to fake your personality? I'll tell you from experience: being single. There's millions of girls out there, one with love you for who you are, just gotta find her. ;P

 

And that's about it, lol, that's what happens when a college kid has a lot of time to kill, haha. So to summarize it all: shy guys aren't bad and they have their advantages. The ultimate guy is a shy guy who eventually opens up because you get the best of both worlds: an outgoing guy who actually cares about you, aka a hybrid. ;D

 

(NOTE: Not all outgoing guys are bad or jerks, I know quite a few good outgoing guys, just saying shy guys are good too.

[LightbulbSun]

They like shy guys if the guy is good looking.

[Michele32]

i think you are going to find anwsers from all over the board. some like the quiet guys, some like outgoing guys, its just all preference. my number one attraction is a guy is confidence...and that can come in a variety of ways i suppose. so it really depends on the girl

[BritterSweet]

Whenever there's a question starting with "Do girls/women like..." there will be very varied answers.

 

To be honest, judging from my personality I think I'd prefer a shy guy. I've been approached by outgoing guys and even though I liked hanging with them at first, I ended up wanting to pull away from them. There was this one guy I liked and was always happy to see, and he was a bit of an introvert like me.

 

I imagined a scenario where I'm sitting at a table and a guy tries to talk to me, being flirtatious and talkative. Then I imagined the same scenario but with the guy wiping his palms and blushing as he tries to come up with things to say. I found that the latter case with the guy being nervous was cuter.

[-John-]

I used to agonize over things like this. Am I shy? Yes. And I guess, deep down, I was hoping to find a girl who would just accept me for who I am. But that's unlikely, especially considering most women my age are immature; so perhaps when I'm older that won't be the case.

 

But in the meantime, I try to think about it as little as possible. There are too many other things I want to do with my life. Given my social anxiety, I realize that, to most women, I probably seem to lack confidence. I've come to accept that this anxiety will always be with me; I simply have to learn to live with it, cope with it. But it will always find a way to show itself, in my speech, my gestures, in subtle and unconscious ways that people will be able to pick up. Women, therefore, will see it too.

 

Maybe I will find a woman who sees that, but decides to accept who I am. Maybe not. But with everything else I'm trying to do with my life, maybe this small thing isn't so important.

[bostonbruins44]

Women like guys who will ask them out regardless whether or not they are shy..Obviously the asking is harder for a shy guy to do..It is a false assumption ,usually made by shy men that the reason they are not successful is because they are quiet/shy ..Women can't read minds so if they often overlook shy guys it is likely because they don't have a clue that they are interested.

[NMF1978]

There is a difference between being shy versus being introverted. One person avoids social situations out of fear and anxiety even though he or she wants to be active in social situations. The other person chooses to spend his or her time in solitary situations than social situations. I really doubt that women find it attractive that a guy is scared of other people. How is he supposed to protect her, if he is afraid of people half his size? On the other hand, there are a lot of introverted guys who are quiet, yet they don't have any problems dealing with people or pursuing women that they like.

 

Since when did shy mean being scared of people half your size?

[NoLess]

They like shy guys if the guy is good looking.

 

Well of course a girl can be physically attracted to a good looking guy. You have to consider that liking someone for how they look and liking for who they are each lead to different doorways. Otherwise youd be saying shy guys are never liked from the inside out and could only possibly be pleasing from their appearance, which is beyond my belief.

[pinkelephant]

if i got to choose, outgoing. my bf is shy and in some instances its really annoying. he couldn't even look at me in the eyes when he say i love you for the first time because he was so shy. that's kind of cute, but... idk...

 

but being shy isn't a deal breaker.

[foofy]

yes of couse girls like shy guys i myself have actualy never liked an outgoing guy and you may not have to ask out the girl you like if she is outgoing but if she is shy to you definitely need to ask her out insted.

[meltingcortex]

Shyness as stated before shows fear of life and the possibilities it has to offer. I was a shy guy almost my whole life. However, I am a personal trainer so I was forced to socialize with people. I think my subjective insight has weight has heavy weight here because I was extremely shy (naturally introverted), forced to gain social skills (still introvert).

 

Someone is shy when they lack life experience. I made asking out the first 27 women who liked me (and I went to extreme lengths for their affections, looking great, making lots of money, etc...) such a big deal. You make a big deal because if its your first time asking, she is 100 percent your experience with women. After you ask a couple out you realize that there is a 90 percent chance if you ask them out it wont work out anyway. There are personality conflicts etc.... Its just a numbers game.

 

This is not to say I am still not introvert. I am introvert. I prefer reading books, watching movies at home, or just plain spending time alone to relax. I appreciate it when I can find a woman who has this similar nature. (I mean I have gotten with outgoing girls who just want to go out when I want to snuggle). I can say the only advantage two shy people have is many facets of their natures will be the same when they actually initiate contact. The problem is they don't initiate contact. With outgoing people its like rolling a dice. Its just the outgoing people can roll the dice so many times they usually find someone compatible.

 

You can metaphorically compare this to interviews. When I applied to my first gym, I got really really nervous and didn't convey confidence. I tried to present the perfect image. Anyone who has a great paying job will attest to the power of applying to 100 gyms. Then each interview is such a small amount of your total experience, you can actually screw up and learn.

 

Basically shyness shows lack of experience in any area. This lack of experience is usually created by fear of failure or what will happen (outside of comfort zone). I'm sure introverts and extroverts alike can appreciate the quality of being fearless and have passion for what life has to offer.

[putter65]

Women like all kinds of guys, shy, outgoing, tall, short, rich, poor etc.

[RitaTrue]

I'm shy and introverted. I warm up to people slowly, and only to a few.

 

As far as who I'm attracted to, I used to like men who were moderately outgoing and socially savvy. My ex was that way to the T! He was an athlete, an entertainer, and the life of the party. However, the vast differences between our personalities, among other things, strained our relationship. And it broke, ultimately.

 

I still prefer outgoing men. But now with a clause: I like men who are socially savvy who are also introverted at heart. Someone who likes staying at home and having fun, but also has a warm personality and knows how to mingle well with people.

[Aalina]

Girls like boys its not depend on that they are shy or they use to go more here and there

. love or liking is a natural feeling it does not see anything that smartness or shyness.

these are like some habits or some acts that we love to see in the person we like

[lalalollipops]

I like happy go lucky, chatty guys. But not the obnoxious type. The types that are good conversationalists but are also able to listen. You know, having that thoughtful, deeper side. Not just a loud * * * * * * * lol.

 

Shy guys can be alright, depends on the extent of the shyness. If they're shy, but are also friendly and can mingle relatively well, it's all good! If they're pessimistic then no.

[katycloud]

It depends on the girl. I've dated shy guys, and outgoing guys. It depends on the rest of the person inside as well

[IDunnoWut2Do]

One of my best friends is shy but still all girls in our city seems to be falling for him when he just walks by... He thinks its because he looks good which can probably be the reason... What do u guys think?

[notafraid]

"I think shy guys are shy because they care to much what the woman thinks.

I think outgoing guys are confident because they don't care as much what the woman thinks.

I want to become less shy and more confident with women and am working on it.

However, I don't want to become to confident with women because I don't want to become a jerk."

Posted by Charley

I agree with Charley. But I also think this is what is somewhat destroying or at least making relationships between men and women very difficult. People just don't know how to act anymore and it's confusing. Nature and biology tells us that the man is supposed to make the first move. However, we now live in a society where women have obviously become more independent and don't need a man to "take care of them". What's more important is creating a healthy, nurturing, loving relationship. The only way one can do this is to first be true to yourself, shy or not. I'm a woman and have been shy for most of my life and especially around men. If I like someone, forget about it!! I turn into a three year old. So, that's something I work on and I have become a little more confident around men I'm attracted to. Balance is very important: I like men with a personality but someone who is loud, rude and obnoxious is annoying. I also find shy guys to be quite adorable as well. However a man who is overly shy is a turn off.

 

[Alezia]

I personally prefer comfortable extroverts as they are probably better adapted to my lifestyle choices. You know the type that like going out, are social, respects boundaries, like to laugh and meet new people.

 

I would however choose a confident introvert which shares some common interest, and for which we could talk rather than the "douche bag" extrovert. The type that tries too hard, people pleaser, grinds against everything that moves, cannot stop hawking women, drinks so much he has to leave early from the party etc...

I've never dated either of those types however, but I cannot even be friends with the last one.

 

I'm a laid back person when it comes to attraction. I will usually just chat up whoever wants to talk to me and have a good time. Extroverts are usually more confident and pursue me much harder than introverts. Perhaps it would have worked out otherwise, but as they don't pursue me as agressively, we will not know!

[dobbin]

I like confident men who are not afraid to go after what they want. Funny thing is I always fall for those who are successful in their career but seems shy around me. I like the chase but I always pick the guy and make him like me which leads to asking me out. Am I weird?

 

Most girls like outgoing guys because they are more fun to be with, they like the boys chasing after them and of course the bad boys arent not shy at all and girls always want to think they can turn a confident bad boy into a nice tamed man.

 

Currently there is a man at work who I suspect likes me, but I think I know why he is keeping his distance and shyness is just one of the reasons.

[robintoronto]

I think its important to understand here that shyness or being outgoing isn't inherently bad. There's more to it.

 

Its implied stuff here and its not always correct. Shyness = boring, pushover, bad in bed, unsuccessful, clingy etc. And on top of that, during the dating stage things needs to move along and you need one or both people to do that. In a stereotyped gender biased world that we live in, it may be disadvantageous if the girl did all the work.

 

So if you address all of the above, you're golden.

 

I used to be painfully shy, but that was in grade 7. After that, life became better I think.