Mustang Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 I found out that my ex dumped me for someone else three months ago. We were talking as friends. We were getting on. But when I found out I sent her a text on her birthday to say happy birthday and goodbye because I knew everything. Her response? "Hey hey! Thanks for the birthday wishes and card. It's up in my room. Hope you had a good weekend! x" NO consideration for me or remorse about me finding out. Why not be honest? I can't get her out of my head. Link to comment
arwen Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Hey mustang, That is painful... Have you had a period of NC after your break up? I really recommend not to be in touch for a long while, just to give you the opportunity to move on. Why do you want to be friends with someone who dumped you for someone else? I think if the break up was not mutual, friendship will usually keep the dumpee from moving on. Take care, Arwen Link to comment
Aleadragonhawk Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 It sounds like it's time to go NC. Sit down and really think about this - what are you hoping to gain by staying in contact with her? What do you want from her - is it to get back together? When you sent her that text, it wasn't to say happy birthday - if that was all there was to it, you'd be content with the answer she gave you. It was an attempt to get her to show regret/remorse for her actions. She didn't. It's time to start moving on. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 I agree with the above posters. It's never easy to be on the receiving end of a breakup, but you can make that harder on yourself by trying to maintain something with her that she's just not interested in. As hard as it is for you, she's moved on and you aren't going to get the remorse and apologies you are looking for from her. Closure comes from within. Time to close that book and move on- stop contacting her. Link to comment
jmantra Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 I almost agree that you should go NC except you should send a nasty message calling her every name in the book for dumping you for another guy and then when she responds, don't reply back. Many people are going to disagree with me, but trust me it's invigorating, it gives you a sense of power back. But be forewarned do not respond to any further communication from her. Link to comment
lpsworld Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 You have to ignore her man! Trust me, once you stop calling her or texting her, she will start contacting you. She will do some comaprison between you and the guy she's with now, and she will find some stuff on him that really bugs the crap out of her and then she's going to think about how great you were. She will contact you, but at that time when you get that text message from her, you will be so turned off by that and you won't even want to talk to her anymore. if you don't believe me, we can make a bet on it! link removed-it's time to bounce back! Link to comment
Mustang Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 Thanks guys. I appreciate all the advice. I'm going to not speak to her. I just feel so low about how she just dumped me for someone else, lied about it and made out it was all my fault. It's been so hard to deal with and it hurts that she doesn't give a about me enough to be honest. It's like I never existed in her life and I really don't know why. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 I almost agree that you should go NC except you should send a nasty message calling her every name in the book for dumping you for another guy and then when she responds, don't reply back. Many people are going to disagree with me, but trust me it's invigorating, it gives you a sense of power back. But be forewarned do not respond to any further communication from her. With all due respect, Jman (and you indicated that you knew people would disagree), I have to say I wouldn't advise the OP to do this, mainly because, while it might be temporarily invigorating, once that "high" wears off, you may regret it. And, do you really want to have her last communication with you be you going off all nasty and rude on her? I know that we shouldn't be hung up on how others view us, but I guess I'd want to know that I had gone out on a classy, dignified note, despite how badly an ex had treated me. Just my thoughts... Link to comment
Mustang Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 I've not spoken to her since Sunday when I told her I knew about her new guy and I said I was happy for her. Obviously, I'm hurt, but I'm not giving her the satisfaction of telling her. She replied but didn't mention anything about the guy. I don't expect to hear from her ever again. It's just a gut feeling. I'm just confused as to why she's lied and ran away from me for so long. I mean, why bother keeping me in her life? Well, I've deleted her on Facebook and I won't contact her again. She won't either. Link to comment
ut_longhorn Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Mustang...its good that she's not contacting you. Go into no contact with this woman. It will only benefit you. She's seeing someone else. She's not thinking about you. You have to have a bit of self respect for yourself and not contact her anymore. She lost her feelings for you a while before the relationship ended. thats why it seems like she doesn't care all of a sudden...but in fact its been a long time coming. Good luck. I know it sucks..but in time things will get better. Link to comment
Mustang Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 I agree that NC is the best and only option. It's just that I feel like I'm back at square one. Everything she said during the break up was a lie. I was making progress and I was happy to be friends with her. But finding out she's constantly lied and had no respect after all just makes me feel worse. My confidence is ruined. How can I trust anyone again after this girl said she still love me when she was in this other guy's bed? I have no confidence. I know it'll get easier but I'm so messed up right now. Link to comment
ut_longhorn Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Yea..I know what you mean. There is a huge blow to the ego when someone dumps you and you feel that the whole thing was a huge lie. And the other thing is that the way she handled things and treated you with no respect shows what type of person she was...and a woman that has no respect for a person that they once cared for deserves no respect in return. There is a certain amount of respect/kindness needed when someone does the breaking up and she didnt give you any. Move on..dont give her the time of day..do not be friends with her. Friendships can be rekindled way in the future when no emotions are there..but until then, no contact. Link to comment
Clabs Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Hey Mustang. Sorry for your hurt fella - I really am. This is a perfect example of why it is uaually not a good idea to remain friends with an ex. You can end up finding out about stuff that just catapaults you back to square one again. Your confidence and trust does take a right old bashing when this sort of thing happens. You need to give this some time right now - they will return. Retain some pride - walk away and work on getting yourself back in shape - that is going to be the fastest way to get over this. Take care mate and look after yourself. Mark Link to comment
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