I REALLY need help with Birth control!!!!!

[Batya33]

There definitely are younger women who have babies with birth defects and there are older women who have healthy babies, however, age increases the ODDS of complications. One such complication is Down's Syndrome which is more common in those giving birth after age 35.

 

I don't know of any reliable tests that can predict whether or not a couple will produce a child with Down's Syndrome (BEFORE the woman gets pregnant) and many couples don't believe in abortion as a solution to birth defects.

 

Uh huh. Yes I agree it increases the risks. I wrote that above - you were talking about "high risk" and how women in their 40s who never had a child "probably don't want children anyway". I am not familiar with the "many" couples who will not abort a fetus with a severe birth defect nor am I familiar with women turning 40 and not wanting children if they have not had any yet. Quite to the contrary from my experience. Also from what I understand, women who have a high risk of a birth defect (for which there are genetic tests available - such as tay sachs where you can be told there is a 25% chance) often choose not to conceive in the first place.

 

Sounds like you are basing all your generalizations on shaky research or on some narrow personal experiences. Not just saying that based on my personal experience but based on all I have read and studied.

[Aleadragonhawk]

Back on topic. One option for you might be the nuvaring - it is a low dose of hormones and is quite effective. It's a great method if you're forgetful like me and know that you'll slip up on taking the pill every day. An IUD is another option - just make absolutely sure that your future partner has been tested for STDs before you decide on this option, because STDs can be much worse with an IUD inserted. In the US there is a hormonal and a nonhormonal option. I'm twenty, never pregnant, and recently had an IUD inserted with no real trouble. I went to planned parenthood.

 

An implant that is progestin-only also just came on the market, so you could potentially talk to your doctor about that option.

[skiersanonymous]

toshiba is completely correct about the increase in risks for some health problems such as down's syndrome. I'll try to address your other points here:

 

tay sachs is different because it is a recessive hereditary disease on the X chromosome, which means that through genetic screening, the odds of offspring with the disease are very easy to determine.

 

many couples, particularly with strong religious believes will NOT abort a fetus, regardless of the situation. there are many people at the extreme of this belief that will not even abort when the mother's life is at risk. thereforeeee toshiba's statement is fair.

 

also your response to toshiba's correct assertion about increased risks was in the form of stories about people you know, so i dont think you can claim she's basing hers on "narrow personal experiences"

 

sorry if this comes accross as an attack, but i wanted to clear things up

[Batya33]

thanks for sharing but it did not clarify what I said - it mostly misconstrued it. but thanks for sharing anyway - always interesting to hear others' opinions.

[skiersanonymous]

on the abortion issue, abc news and washington post just published a poll 3 days ago that asked: "Do you think abortion should be legal in all cases, legal in most cases, illegal in most cases, or illegal in all cases?" 15% said no in all cases, and 30% said no even if the baby had a fatal birth defect, which while is a minority, represents a very significant portion of American society. (i am prochoice btw, and the poll seemed to favor choice, so dont take issue with that). anyways you taking offense at her comment about 40+ women being less likely to want/have children and being riskier (downs syndrome is nearly 20 times likelier with a 45 yo mother than a 30 year old) is not anything near what the OP intended, so let's let it get back to that.

[Batya33]

on the abortion issue, abc news and washington post just published a poll 3 days ago that asked: "Do you think abortion should be legal in all cases, legal in most cases, illegal in most cases, or illegal in all cases?" 15% said no in all cases, and 30% said no even if the baby had a fatal birth defect, which while is a minority, represents a very significant portion of American society. (i am prochoice btw, and the poll seemed to favor choice, so dont take issue with that). anyways you taking offense at her comment about 40+ women being less likely to want/have children and being riskier (downs syndrome is nearly 20 times likelier with a 45 yo mother than a 30 year old) is not anything near what the OP intended, so let's let it get back to that.

 

Thanks so much for sharing the results of one poll and your personal interpretation of how it applies to women in their 40s and your personal analysis of birth defects, but I am not sure what this has to do with the OP's question. I did not take "offense" at her comment - simply pointed out that it was a bit presumptuous and inaccurate to say that women in their 40s probably do not want children if they've never had any- but you seem to have some self-created agenda. If you would like to consider yourself "right" by all means go ahead - I am quite confident in my opinions and a bit puzzled why you are reacting in this manner.

 

Why not start a new thread on abortion and birth defects since you seem so passionate about (it was tangential to what I was referring to in the first place but apparently not to you).

 

Thanks again for sharing your opinions -- I enjoyed the "tone" too.

[yellow_sweater]

Must be your location because most in my area won't place them in a young woman who has never had children.

 

I am 25, have not had children, and have had an IUD since I was 23.

 

From what I understand, many doctors do not like to place an IUD in a woman that has not had children (delivered vaginally) because the placement itself is much more difficult. When a woman delivers a child vaginally, the cervix is stretched out. During the placement of the IUD, the doctor uses a "sound" to measure the size of the uterus to ensure proper placement. Then the doctor inserts the IUD through the cervix. Both steps are much easier if the cervix has been stretched via childbirth.

 

In my case, my insertion process took an hour an a half, several shots of local anesthetic, a lot of blood, and my (now ex) boyfriend wanting to pass out (haha). Actually, they were on their last try before sending me home to rest for a while when they finally got the d*** thing in.

 

TO THE OP: I would highly recommend either the copper IUD (in place for 10 years) or the plastic IUD (Mirena, in place for 5 years). The insertion process is a cake walk in light of the benefits of an IUD--very light periods (for the plastic IUD), extremely low failure rate, no need to take a pill a day, etc.

 

Good luck and I wish a happy marriage for you and your future husband!

YS

[yellow_sweater]

A note on IUDs and STDs.

 

For those in the audience that haven't seen/ heard of an IUD, it's something that sits inside the uterus with a string or a filament that hangs down through the cervix into the vaginal canal. Yes, back in the '70s, there was a link between IUDs and STDs. Back in the day (the days that gave us the Dalkon Shield), that filament was made of some sort of string material that produced a wicking action, drawing up whatever was in the vagina into the uterus, INCLUDING organisms/ virus that caused STDs and other bacteria. Currently, IUDs are constructed with a material that does not have the same wicking action.

 

Still, the insertion of an IUD is the insertion of a foreign body into YOUR body via a canal that has all sorts of interesting flora living in it (gross, but true). For this reason, doctors will/ SHOULD screen a woman for STDs before insertion. If you have an infection, it will be picked up on the IUD and inserted into your uterus, potentially leading to an even worse infection.

 

This is one of the reasons why doctors recommend the IUD to women in monogamous relationship--they assume that the fewer sexual partners a woman has, the less likely she is to have an STD. Not sure I agree with the logic, but from my pretty extended conversations with multiple doctors, that's what I learned.

 

YS

[yellow_sweater]

oh, i guess if her hymen is still intact and she is tight, then inserting the device might be more painful. but the doctor can cut the hymen his or herself.

 

The pain comes from the insertion through the cervix, not the hymen. The doctor can very easily (and relatively painlessly, for most women) cut the hymen for women that still have one intact.

 

YS

[annie24]

ah, thanks for clarifying. maybe some women want their hymen broken the more 'traditional' way? i guess that is a personal choice.

[yellow_sweater]

ah, thanks for clarifying. maybe some women want their hymen broken the more 'traditional' way? i guess that is a personal choice.

 

Absolutely!

 

YS

[Krystal_Ivy]

can we PLEASE get back on topic. enough about IUD's please. So will it be easy for a virgin to get a diaphragm or cervical cap or spoonge in??? what if my soon to be husband does it for me? is it true that they are only 80% effective? I've never stuck anything up there myself but pelvic exams hurt like crazy!!

[annie24]

i thought IUDs were on topic.....

 

sorry, i don't know much about the diaphragm or cervical cap. why don't you give it a try now, far in advance of your wedding, and see if they feel comfortable to wear? whatever you do, i wouldn't try out the diaphragm the first time on your wedding night, that just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

 

PS - i wouldn't rely on your husband to put anything besides his penis up in you, unless he happens to be a gynecologist! chances are he won't know any better than you!

[Pappers]

Get a 2nd opinion or go to a family planning clinic where they routinely help young women with exactly these issues.

 

IUD is not recommended.

[Pappers]

there is likely to be a pill out there for you! sometimes it takes awhile for the body to adjust.

 

oh, and don't worry! good for you for being responsible when it comes to sexual health.

[yellow_sweater]

Get a 2nd opinion or go to a family planning clinic where they routinely help young women with exactly these issues.

Definitely.

IUD is not recommended.

Wait--why?

[Krystal_Ivy]

i thought IUDs were on topic.....

 

sorry, i don't know much about the diaphragm or cervical cap. why don't you give it a try now, far in advance of your wedding, and see if they feel comfortable to wear? whatever you do, i wouldn't try out the diaphragm the first time on your wedding night, that just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

 

PS - i wouldn't rely on your husband to put anything besides his penis up in you, unless he happens to be a gynecologist! chances are he won't know any better than you!

No IUD's aren't on topic because all of my doctors said NO until after kids. And I suggested my fiance' doing it to me because I never put my finger in there before. He has, so he knows what it's like in there. I don't. Why would you not think a diaphragm would be good on my wedding night?

[annie24]

well, i'm saying you should give the diaphragm a try before your wedding night. make sure it fits right and all and that you feel comfortable wearing it. i mean, you didn't just take your wedding dress right off the rack and pay for it without trying it on right? (and i know you've had problems with the wedding dress alterations, i hope that has been worked out!)

 

about the IUDs pre-childbirth - clearly some doctors do it, others won't. as long as you and your doctor have discussed things in terms of what is best for you, that matters.

 

have you tried other birth control pills besides that one? maybe there is a different formula that would work better for you.

[Batya33]

It's very important that you feel comfortable with and are familiar with what you are like inside and what things feel like - and this is a great time to do that since you are looking into some internal birth control options. I was squeamish too once upon a time - but it's good to get over it. Use a mirror, too and get a good book about women's bodies so that you know what you are looking at.

[RayKay]

No IUD's aren't on topic because all of my doctors said NO until after kids. And I suggested my fiance' doing it to me because I never put my finger in there before. He has, so he knows what it's like in there. I don't. Why would you not think a diaphragm would be good on my wedding night?

 

 

Well as was discussed before, some doctors think that still - but the modern IUD is far different. I can get mine removed ANYTIME that I want to start having children and it does not interfere with my hormones at all (which is often a bigger issue when it comes to fertility down the road).

 

I also think you really need to get to know your OWN body; you need to know how the diaphragm should feel and be inserted, and need to know BEFOREHAND that it fits properly and feels alright for you; if it does not fit or is not inserted properly - it's not going to be working.