My first poem...is it good enough?

[puffdaddycurl]

Hello and thanks for talking your time out of your day to read and help me with my topic. Well just yesterday i decided to write a poem and to me i thought it turned out pretty good but i dont know if good enough to tell my ex-girlfriend later on so i can get her back. well hre it is

 

 

My love after death

 

I know I did wrong

But my heart feels i did right

I will keep trying for so long

to make the wrong turn right

 

I have thought of you at day

and cryed over you at night

I wont stop thinking of you

until everything feels right

 

Every tear I shead

makes my love stronger than might

every tear you shed

makes me cry harder at night

 

I know you dont love me

but that wont make me stop

the only time i will

is when you love me with all you got

 

I will love you forever

even after death

I will wait for you in heaven

after i have left.

 

Well thats it, if you could give me alittle advise on anything i could change or what you think about it. and if you could please tell me if i should memorize this and tell my ex girlfriend to see if she will take me back into her life. Please and thankyou everyone

 

 

sincerly

PDC A.K.A PuffDaddyCurl

[enadevoli]

i really like that poem. i can't say that your ex will take you back after hearing it though. it all depends on how she feels about you.

[puffdaddycurl]

alright thanks for your advise and complemnt deeply appreciated

[The Morrigan]

It's a very intense and emotional poem, nicely done. And I'd have to say - what matters most isn't even how she, or anyone else will react, but that to you, it reflects your thoughts and feelings, always keep in mind that's the really important thing. If it does, you've accomplished something worthy, no matter what anyone else thinks.

[girllovesboy]

That is a great poem : )

[just_smile]

hey

i thought that your poem was great, i think the fact that you wrote it for someone who means alot to you made it even better. i dont know whether see will take you back, but i hope she does

good luck with that

~LJ =;