VERY IMPORTANT DiLEMA

[Medusa]

i'm 17 (starting sunday) and my boyfriend is 26 whom i love very much and he me we've been together for 1yr and 4 months (and live in the bronx Ny) happly smoothing the relationship bumps and hoping to stay together in the long run i go to school full time and since i hardly saw him disided to sorta move in with him not only for the company but its closer to get to my classes the problem is putting it to my mother who is the sorce of all my emotional stress and depression that i nolonger what to live with her she has stressed me out to the point of me just wanting to live in a shelter,we've already tired concusling and such it didn't work because she doesn't want to change she's been like this forever.I'm never decided to date an older guy to "rebel" only b/c i'm just mature and guys my age don't cut it.

 

next year when i'm 18 hope to have a place of my own with my bf and get married

the thing is we want to get a marriage license but i'm in no rush to get married nor is he .just looking forward to it for now.

and i want to have all of my legal documents and such so i can surport myself but i know that until i'm 18 i can't sign myself into a dentist or doctor which is always important

i'd like to know if anyones had experiance with something like this or knowns what i can do about useing the law to my advantage and knowing my rights any free services doctor dentist wise?.I know i just need to survive without her trying to break us apart by abuse of the law system which she has done to me many times in the past

 

any advice,links or just surport would be noted and thanked

 

thank you very much

-MeDuSa

[Hero_99]

First, I seriously doubt that the law will be on your side, since you are basically involved in an illegial situation with you over-aged boyfriend. He's more than likely going to get thrown in prison before you'll ever get any help going to the doctor or dentist...

 

Second, I think you are doing it to be rebellious. Why else would you need a 26 year old to help support you? The guy could almost be your father...

 

I'm sorry, but I think you need some serious growing up to do. Sounds like you have chose to do everything the hard way....

[Shyguy24]

Dont do it ur young and by what i can make out , pretty innocent in the ways of the world;

 

I think u should listen to your mom ; she is ur mother rather than some guy who is like much older than u!!

 

hey could screw upur life and just move on ;

 

if u do decide to move out or make a move like that , i would just say that make sure that ur BF really loves u and i dont mean just sweet talk , ask him to do something for u financially , get concrete proof before doing anythin u might regret later on !!

[Osiris]

Greetings medusa,

 

I'm never decided to date an older guy to "rebel" only b/c i'm just mature and guys my age don't cut it

 

Well if that is a case maybe you should talk to you mother again and try to explain to her that you are really serious and you partner is serious as well. Maybe you can talk with her together. Many people in you age made a mistake by dating older guys. However your situation might be different.

 

Try to get some advice from your local family center if you can. Go and see the counselor together with your partner. Just few ideas of mine

 

All the best.

 

Osiris.

[The Morrigan]

I'd STRONGLY suggest you wait til you finish school and graduate at least (I'm figuring that would be in less than a year?). You want an equal relationship - and if you're still in school, that's going to be a big difference in worlds to straddle if you move in with him now - you want to be an equal partner to him I assume? And viewed as such? Look, you guys are going to have a hard enough time with people's opinions and legalities with the age gap - but you'll lessen it immensely if you've graduated first and are in the same "world" he is during the day, where you can work or go to college and actually function completely like an adult instead of having to go between both worlds. Some things are worth the wait, and if you're sure your relationship will stand the test of time, you really have nothing to lose by exercising a little patience at this point - you've waited this long, don't blow it now.

[enadevoli]

i agree with the morrigan. if you love each other as much as you say you do, then you can get through any thing. all relationships have their hard times & some are harder than others. it sounds like you are having a hard time dealing with your mom & learning how to love her. you can't blame her for what she is doing. your mom is only doing what she thinks is best for you, which maybe it isn't, but she's doing what she knows to do. why did you stop counseling?? i think you should go back to counseling, even if its not helping. don't give up because if you just have patience, it will help & maybe your mom will see what she is doing.