A lot to take in not sure what now

[mylifeisasoapoprea]

Well, My ex keeps calling me and for the longest time I could not figure out way. Never really made sense. She called talking about her problems and that was bout it. I've told her off she calls me. She calls and goes away for a couple of weeks and then calls back again. Well she called me after an argument and then we talk, i have to cut the call early. Then she calls again. Somehow i ended up telling her i would never take her back and then she says that I don't blame you for all i did to you. She starts talking about how she is confused. She tells me that she feels bad for everything that she did to me. And I told her that we all make mistakes and that i forgive her. Then the phones cut out and then she calls again and we talk. She told me that she felt that she never deserved what she had. I told her to follow her heart and what it says. . She told me that she was happier with what she had before. And I told her then do something about it and i had to go because i was meeting friends.

 

The next day we text i ask her about what she said she like avoids it says something else. And then I text her asking her to meet sometime again. She says no. I reply back and say that you keep calling me keep saying we;re friends and then you don't want to see me makes no sense. I get mad at her. She calls me talks to me and avoids the argument. That irked me more. She calls me later asks me if i was mad at her. I don't answer and I had another call so i took the call. She calls me the next day. I can't answer I am at work.

 

Then the argument continues I end up telling her I can't believe i wasted all this time with you etc.... She then stops talking to me. And today she sends an text saying that "I'm sorry for the way I'm acting i didn't want to see you cause i thought you had feelings for me." I reply saying I told you i never take you back, thats not it." Then she replies "I might still have feelings there you happy now." And i reply back she stops texting me.

 

What do i do now? I never meant what i said that i would never take her back. I might still. I was going to wait a few days to let what she told me tonight settle and then give her a call? what do you guys think? Is she for real or takin me for ride?

[Russ]

Whoo. That took a few times to read over to get all the conversations together.

 

Im thinking, if she tried this hard to make contact, she could be serious. I understand you stated you wouldnt take her back so as to keep yourself from looking the fool, so your choices would either be to hold off a few days and see if she contacts you again, or just simply blame what you said about you not taking her back on a bad mood or bad timing, and tell her that "If we're going to take it slowly, Im willing to try again."

[Sn0man]

She's all over the place. Don't talk to her for a while. She sounds *really* confused.

[DN]

It seems to me that she wants to get back with you but since you told her you never would she is scared to ask. Both of you are now dancing around this issue instead of simply talking about it.

 

If i were you I would talk to her properly about it and if she says she doesn't want to get back together then move on and stop talking to her at all.

[Zorba]

She's all over the place. Don't talk to her for a while. She sounds *really* confused.

I would agree with this. To give you an idea from my own life, that may give you an idea of how mad this can get and that it's best to ignore some people's words entirely and look at what they're doing. Pull up a chair and get some popcorn.....

 

My most recent ex. Long term thing(3 years). Decides over 10 months ago to go off with someone else out of the blue. I mean out of the blue, even with hindsight and some uncomfortable soul searching on my part.

 

Now she knew this guy at the time for less than 4 hours.. OK so far so bad. Picture me being naturally upset about this. I even went against my better judgement and asked for her to come back. Anyway, that didn't happen.

 

....but, and this is the thing, she has texted, emailed or called me every single day since. Often more than once a day. That's over 10 months since she left.

 

Now at first I got the usual, "I'm confused" etc Which of course kept me in play. Then I get the line "I've made my choice, I love him and want to spend my life with him"(2 months in). Again so far so good.

 

Right after she came out with that nearly 8 months ago, she didn't contact me. OK, good. Game over. Fair enough, I hear you say, but that lasted 6 days. Yep you read that right. 6 days. Which is the longest she has gone without some form of contact.

 

Now this contact is 99% from her side. I very rarely reply and if and when I do, like on christmas day, when she rang 4 times, I keep it short and polite. I'm kind of stuck with some contact as circumstances, such as work and mutual friends would be affected otherwise.

 

This woman who I assumed was a little more balanced than some, has even gone so far as to say, "I wish you could move on and find someone". Actually over last summer I found several someones, (which she got jealous about when she found out, through a 3rd party) but it feels like she's the one who can't move on.

 

You would think I was the one who dumped her, not the other way around. I mean she's got a guy she claims to love and want to be with for life, yet she has to have me in her life on a daily basis. She has even rung me when he's with her. He being a bit dim, doesn't seem to react to this at all. Which is weird. If she's in trouble she rings me. If she just wants to talk, she rings me. If she's gotten good news, she rings me. etc. God alone knows what she talks to the boyfriend about.

 

Anyway, in the end and a good while back I had realised that she clearly has emotional and mental issues, that would have surfaced one way or another, sooner or later. She may be in love with the current guy, but he's being used as a stepping stone to the rest of her life. He's got rebound written all over him. She still needs me in her life(and tells me she loves me all the time.). She's making up the lack of something in him, by keeping me in her mind, even if I don't engage her. At this stage, I look on it as a case study in craziness.

 

As Sn0man points out mylifeisasoapoprea's ex is confused and a bit silly, so let her make all the running, let her make whatever mind she has up, by herself. Even then you can't be sure, I'm afraid. Sometimes people are emotionally damaged and it's best if shrinks, medication and others sort them out.